Curves with Attitude

Where Did I Go?

2012-02-03T15:25:00.001-08:00

Sometimes you have to choose, this last month was extremely difficult for me. Not only were we busy, but also unbearingly exhausting. So far my main complaints with Lupus are back pain and extreme muscle fatigue (which given the other things you can have, aren't really that bad I guess but compared to last year when I was healthy-well it kinda sucks).

Actually, this is not a lupus blog and I don't know that I want it to be one. I am many things and this is only one thing that I am dealing with. Other things that are new and exciting at our house (ok exciting might be a GIANT overstatement)...

I'm still in school. The UOP program completes a course every 5 weeks. I took double courses the first two sessions which means I was doing 2 finals every month. Oh Lordy, what was I thinking? So starting now, I will be taking one class at a time. It might take a little longer but it won't kill me. Plus that gives me time for bible study reading, the prayer group I volunteer with at church, having time with my husband and kids, family travel, etc.

Anyah is growing like a weed and thusly, is getting herself into lots of interesting situations. She's finally started climbing a little which has been interesting to watch. By far the cutest thing she does is dance like my Grandma Gerty used to. I guess Gerty must visit her in her sleep because I've never taught her to do it and she rocks the booty shake. She also says the cutest things. It's not really what she says but how she says it. She's got the cutest pronounciation I've ever heard.

Layla is developing by leaps and bounds. She's very into having her own responsibilities right now. She helps clean up, cook, and does almost everything for Pixie. The dog is her BFF and she falls to sleep at night petting her. She's started developing in depth creative play scenarios where she forces Anyah to be a student while she's the teacher or interacts entire plays using her Lalaloopsies and a doll house. It's pretty awesome.

Jon has a busy month this month. He's got work, an assessment, jury duty, and a wife with tons of doctor's appointments who works nights. He's been awesome. Totally awesome. I am grateful.

Last month was the month of birthday's: PopPop Ira, my Dad, and Papa Mark to name a few. This month has a lot of adult responsibilities and next month is the start of the summer downhill with my birthday just before Easter, the Santos Wedding, Anyah's birthday, etc.

I'll be back to post real things eventually, I promise. It's just crazy. Sorry.

the typical day

2012-01-16T00:01:00.001-08:00

From 6 pm to 9 pm I grab a nap which is really like 7 pm to 8 pm followed by an hour shushing Layla who sneaks into bed with me and messes with the dog while talking nonstop until she literally crashes out.

9 pm Get up and get ready. Depending on how tired and sore I am this might include a second shower in my day.

9:30 pm forage for something to pack for lunch and find the things I need for the night (like my phone charger and headphones)

9:45 pm drive to work

10 pm to 6:30 am work, without a real break because we are understaffed, if I get a break use it to eat while doing homework if not then eat while working and possibly swap cars with Jon in the parking lot at some point during my shift

6:45 am the car window is finally defrosted enough to drive home, I on the other hand am frozen solid

7 am the girls are up because the dog goes crazy when I get home, get the girls settled by the tv, turn up the heater and let the dog out

7:30 am or so, make breakfast as requested... Usually either waffles or eggs for the girls but today oatmeal which I have to keep Anyah from feeding Pixie

8 am to 9:30 or 10 am juggle homework, with two small kids overstocked on energy playing and bickering around me and a small dog going crazy... Also play with kids and dog as needed, get little people dressed and do hair

10 am to 1:30 pm give or take this is my main sleep time.

1:30 pm get up for lunch, send Layla to quiet time in her room and if Anyah skipped her morning nap put her down and nap but today she is up so so am I, play and cuddle watching TV

3 pm Layla is out of her room and of I am lucky the girls go out to play or need a bath... Use this time to clean house because omfg what happened to the floors

4:30 pm start making dinner

5 pm dinner and dinner clean up, then put myself and kids in jammies

Omg it's 6 pm again, time to start over

This is typical for a non doctor appointment or other commitment day. Things get more crazy when one of us has an appointment, daddy has a strange schedule day or god forbid we need to run an errand at the grocery store or target

Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Staycation

2012-01-07T07:28:00.001-08:00

My vacation is officially over and I started back to work and school this week. Four days off sounded big but it felt so small.

The quality time spent doing projects with the girls, taking them to breakfast and playing outside was amazing. Plus a lot of the honey do list got completed.

Hopefully my next vacation will find us better off financially and with me feeling healthy though because I would much rather have a vacation, staying at home was a lot of work.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Time for a new year

2011-12-31T07:40:00.001-08:00

My year end time always gets a little reflective. I look back at this hard hard year and I see so many blessings. Even in the hardest parts if I stare long enough a picture comes out of the chaos, a blessing.

I hope I'll see more clearly in 2012. I hope it will take less time to feel things deeply and more time to lose the good parts as they fade into memories.

If nothing else this year made me so much more aware of my time.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

It was Christmas

2011-12-26T00:35:00.001-08:00

I came home from work a half an hour early and crawled through the darkness plugging in lights and straightening bows. I stepped cautiously around Santa's magic dust and brought in the milk and cookies plate from outside. I clicked on the floor heater in the back room, let the dog out and started making breakfast which woke Jon and sent him stumbling down the hall to see what the ruckus was. After the egg casserole was in the oven and the bacon was arranged for cooking I took a break before the chaos. I didn't have enough time to nap so instead I enjoyed listening to everyone else start to stir and sometime around 7 the baby awoke and then the big kid thumped down the hall.

"It's Christmas Baby", I told them. When the adults gathered blurry eyed under the Christmas tree the girls went through their stockings and swapped their pillow pets and then we assembled some things while we waited for Papa Glen to come at 8. I finished making the bacon and sausage and mixed some pancake/waffle mix.

From 8 am to 9 am there was a flurry of wrapping paper, squeels, begs to assemble and open things and the chaos and the noise got a little overwhelming. Then we showed the girls their outside swing set and they learned to swing and slide in the PJ's and jackets in the frost while I finished up the waffle making. After breakfast there was a good dose of making toys and giving praises until eventually I couldn't wait any longer to sleep and the grandparents filtered out one by one before I padded off to bed just before noon.

I woke occassionally to the sound of outside play or toys going up and down the hall and I know I missed some good parts so I forced myself up at 4:30 and heated up some dinner for my girlies and listened to endless stories about what they got and what they did. I watched Layla pretend to be Nannie with a back the hurt so she couldn't get out of her toy car before dinner. I watched Anyah lay the kisses on a Princess Belle baby. I was the receiving end of silly walkie talkie conversations and the samplier of pretend food from a plastic dish and before long I helped people back into their Christmas Jammies and kissed them so I could head back for a few more hours of sleep before work.

It's the smallest Christmas we've ever had. I feel blessed that the kids were overwhelmed with awesome gifts and quality time. I sort of liked how condensed we've become sometimes because I don't have to be anything I'm not…especially when I'm tired. For the first time in many many years the tree stayed up tonight because I had to go to work. I'll walk passed it on my way out the door tonight, surrounded by the toys left right where they fell and the small bits of wrapping paper that didn't make it to the clean up sack and it will make me a little sad that I'm not all snuggled with my husband and enjoying the Christmas night…

And then I will say "it was Christmas" when I tell the stories and I'll remember how much Layla loved her new toy car and swingset or how Anyah made messes with her gifts all over the house and cried when we tried to clean up… and I won't remember how tired I was or how the bacon wasn't as crispy as I had hoped. Because that's how it goes. By this time next month it will be something we did once… a fond memory and a tradition kept. I'll forget how stressed we were about everything, I may even eventually forget how tight the budget was or how I much I worried it wouldn't be enough. Even now that part seems silly, because it's always enough. Because it is Christmas… and they got what they wanted… time to play with us.

*photos to come eventually when I download the camera since this is the only one I took with my phone (before we got started)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Traditional Christmas Eve

2011-12-25T01:46:00.001-08:00

Least you think our Christmas Eve was too tragic...

We did the traditional Christmas
Pajama and Book opening without a hitch.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Hagiophobia

2011-12-25T01:36:00.001-08:00

Def: fear of saints or holy things, also a fear of Santa Claus, which may occur in small children and babies

She is 4 and she stayed up till 1a.m. Santa found his cookies and milk outside on the porch. The North Pole was contacted and elves assured us he knew our house was do not enter.

Nannie had to spend the night and sleep in her bed since I was at work and Jon had things to assemble.

Turns out Santa is just another creeper with a beard. At least now I am much less worried she will walk off with a stranger with candy or a puppy because if a national icon of present bearing kindness can't get in the house... She's got stranger danger down.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Disconnected & Reassembled

2011-12-24T03:24:00.001-08:00

Sometimes the way you feel consumes you. It's been a hard year ending in a hard month so what I know about myself and others gets a little clouded in what I wish we could have together. A friend called it isolation, a family member called it disconnected and I call it scared.

I choose this week to focus on my children and the hope that they will fell overwhelmed with love, joy and laughter. I hope that I can give back to them what they give me: an overwhelming sense that the world has endless possibilities, that people can act out of pure love, and that time is a powerful gift.

I pray and wait for grace amongst my own raw emotion. I find now that I open myself to truth amongst my friends they find new and surprising ways to pull me out of myself, out of the dark. They literally deliver and remind me that we are part of a greater family, one that shows up when we need them and responds sincerely without judgment. We are all God's children. We are all in this together.

One points out the things I have done for others and says she just wanted to be like me. I point out the things she and others have done and how I want to be remade like them.

Maybe next year I'll resolve to take the best parts of those around me and make them part of myself. Because we could all use more good parts and everyone has so many to choose from.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Sometimes I think God & My In-laws hate me

2011-12-22T06:51:00.001-08:00

There was a bid this week at work where a position that paid the same amount as mine came up for bid. Money being tight recently since Jon's job is only part time with not great hours sometimes, high childcare expenses and a house payment this looked like the only opportunity I would have any time soon to get off the overnight shift. The overnight shift, simply put, is killing me. Just ask my Dr who tells me constantly I need to switch to a shift that allows me a normal sleep pattern for my lupus.Plus the overnight shift is ruining my relationship with my husband, my time with my two small children and makes everything from school to drs appointments very difficult. The only way I could get the shift was if no one else bid because I had some swine flu absences last year and this position bidding is based entirely on attendance and not on anything else. Taking time off for my kids last year screwed me because if you are on the night shift and everyone's ill you have to call in sick or be up 24 or more hours. No one wanted it when I bid but on the last day someone else decided to bid. She has no kids, no school, no husband but needed the $2 an hour pay increase it would give her and as I knew it would, it knocked me right out of the running.

I haven't spent one minute of this lupus experience mad at god but that schedule bid I prayed so hard for, it has knocked me right odd my knees. Constant pain combined with knowing I am stuck in a life situation is crippling my faith. Meanwhile, Jon is stuck at working waiting for the last step off a possible position change for him that would allow me to bid off the night shift but there is no end in sight for that right now and so I can't even bid for the other girls shift in good faith.

I have debt... Personal, medical... I can't take a pay cut when I am not making ends meet now. God may love me but I do not see how this life situation reflects him liking me.

It's sort of the way I feel about Jon's side of the family. They think I am ok because its the Christian thing to do but they don't love me. They must not because eventually they have all thrown out an opinion about something they've been judging me on since they met me. Like the conversation 3 years ago when my mother in law told me she doesn't understand how honest I can be after praising my honesty in the passed or the sister in law we supported through bad life decisions and was positive to until she started handling her own junk jumping my shit over the fact that I curse in front of my kids. I have a father in law who seemed to like me until his kids all started talking to him again. I guess I just don't understand them. And after 5 years I think I have to let go of the hope I ever will.

I just feel like I can never be me. Thanks for becoming a Christian enjoy the life of Job while acting like you can manage because God has your back.

But I can't manage. Just so you know. Last week I tried to tell my mom how bad I am taking my feelings at the moment and it blew back at me like sand in a wind storm. I miss having someone to talk to who got me, this year I feel JB's death to the core of me. In a room full of people I feel alone and judged and like it is my responsibility to make it ok for my kids sake. I don't trust anyone or anything not even myself. In the end, maybe that's why they don't like me.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

A Letter to S.L.E.

2011-12-18T01:15:00.000-08:00

Hello Lupus,

My name is Allie and it looks like we are going to be living with each other from now so I thought we’d get to know each other a bit.

I googled you; that was a poor choice. You are scary on the internet. Your complications seem endless. So instead I think I’ll focus on dealing with what you are giving me so far.

Fatigue. Thanks for that. As if working night shift, going to school full time and having two kids at home wasn’t tiring enough you thought it would be fun to knock my ass out on my days off too. I guess I’ll just learn to embrace my new dirtier house look.

Joint and Muscle Pain. I especially like how my joint inflammation is in my hands and my spine. My Spine! Really, you couldn’t pick something I don’t need like my left knee or something? No, well I guess my T8-9 and I will get used to you flaring up and causing us the inability to lift small children or bend over without wanting to scream. So far, your muscle pain is manageable so thanks for that.

Skin Problems and Ultraviolet Light Sensitivity. Oh for the love of butterfly rash, random mouth sores, bumps under my skin and strange discolorations. Blue finger tips in the cold and bad feet circulation…no thanks. Other than the mouth sores we seem to be doing ok but seriously, having mouth sores on Thanksgiving due to stress was just not cool so you better not attack again at Christmas. Thank you very much. The sun sensitivity is manageable and the reaction to it is not severe yet so at least there is that but the eye sensitivity and dryness pretty much sucks. Just saying.

Lung Inflammation. Now I know you can inflame anything and I am super thankful that you didn’t pick my heart because that would be scary but having the constant pleurisy is a little concerning. Hopefully the new NSAIDS will help to battle you down. I miss breathing without pain. I really do. Other than spinal pain, your attack on my lungs is the must unsettling.

Kidney Distress. I like how you distress my kidneys and you also require me to take medication which distresses my kidneys…you are a tricky little bastard aren’t you.

Then there is the random worry factor…will I develop a heart problem, will my kidney function or liver function get worse? Will my hair start falling out again? Will I develop fever? Will I randomly gain or lose weight? What if I get edema or vascilitis? Will I have swelling again? Will you give me another bad batch of Anemia? Another bleeding ulcer? Another day of headaches? Will you go after my nervous system and make my hands shake again?

You make me worry. Which is kind of ironic if you consider that the things that they say trigger you are stress, not eating, physically over doing it, and lack of sleep. Oh and the weather, you can also be triggered by the weather. I love having a few “act of God” triggers to worry about to. So now I pray, sleep, eat, rest, medicate, and wait…

But, we’ll be ok me and you. It’s going to suck sometimes but they say if I stay on top of you I’ll still live to be 80 something or more. I’m going to live to be 100 just so I can change that statistic for the next poor bastard who googles you. I like a challenge. I am not a symptom list and once I get your cycles down I think we’ll manage alright. I’ll learn to accept things differently then the way I expect them and to ask for help and you’ll learn that you can’t stop me if I put my mind to something. And I think that’s all I have to say to right now. Welcome to my body… try not to trash the joint because you have to live with the mess you make. Love, Allie

**For more information on Lupus please visit http://www.lupus.org/ where you can learn from a trained professional**

For the record- Lupus is an autoimmune disorder which causes your body to flare up causing your immune system to attack itself sort of like an invading illness. The attacks cause flare ups and chronic inflammation. And any technical information on lupus can be found on the link above or at WebMD by searching for Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (which is the kind I have)

The Days Go By

2011-12-15T06:27:00.000-08:00

I haven't forgotten you. I know I still have pictures to upload from Disneyland, the Turlock Lights Parade, the Downtown tree lighting, Thanksgiving, decorating our house...all those important things I am forgetting. But we've just been so busy and I hate it when people give that as an excuse because really who isn't busy but I am SOOOO busy right now. So here are some bullet points to get you a little caught up.

I'm in school full time now. I'm still working full time at my overnight emergency response job but I am also completing my MFCC (Mariage Family Child Counseling) Masters Degree.

We got a dog from Jon's cousin Sarah's family. Her name is Pixie. She is a malte-poo and in addition to being spoiled rotten she's also an amazingly well behaved dog that the girls absolutely adore.

We went to two out of three of our favorite local Christmas attractions already. The downtown tree lighting and the downtown lights parade (picture above and whole albums available on Facebook)

We still need to go to Christmas Tree Lane and to see the Oxford Court Christmas Train this week

We have a whole new house all decorated up (pictures available on Facebook) and we're having people over for Christmas morning breakfast since I work all the Christmas holiday nights.

We had Thanksgiving at our house the day before Thanksgiving and it was AWESOME and I am so thankful for our friends and family that stopped by.

I got diagnosed finally. I have lupus. I'd tell you all about it but I'm too busy because it's Christmas and I have a full time job and classes to complete.

We moved back our planned Disneyland trip for January to see the Christmas decor. We'll see the Christmas decor another year. We've got things to catch up on and we'll probably go again near my/Anyah's birthday in the spring instead.

Layla is spending the night at Nannie's house tonight, the first time since Boda (her most favorite Nannie's house dog) passed away. It's tough on me and I'm praying more than normal.

Anyah has discovered "Ow Shide" and now we can't get her to come in from outside and do anything inside. Today it is raining, she will be devistated.

Santa needs to run errands today and we're out of milk. We are always almost out of milk. I think my girls are single handedly keeping the dairy industry in business.

I know 3 people who are having twins and 7 people who are pregnant right now. Something is obviously in the water and luckily I only drink pepsi.

I still can't make fudge. I don't know why. I can make things no one else can make but get again I ruined a batch of fudge yesterday. Sigh.

Layla asked for her own room so we've decided to give her one in January since she mostly sleeps in the spare Nannie room anyhow and nannie doesn't mind sharing Layla's room instead of the other way around. The girls have polar opposite sleep patterns and needs...it's just going to work better.

I think that's enough to keep you going for awhile. I'll be back soon to post some pictures. By soon I mean hopefully before January but if not then I have a week off in January and I'll be back then.

Disneyland Day 5- The Ears Tradition

2011-11-08T19:59:00.000-08:00

We knew going into this trip that it was supposed to be about experiences and not things so right off the bat we told the girls no presents from Mommy and Daddy until Thursday and I knew the whole time that present was going to be ears. I still have my ears. It's a tradition. So before the parade we went to get their ears (complete with names on the back) and then the girls watched the Dapper Dans with Daddy while the names were put on. After that we sent Jon and Layla to ride her last ride for the trip and Grammy and Anyah and I staked out a spot to watch the parade. The girls still love their ears and I know they will get a lot of wear this year and for years to come. We also got them a small toy so they had something more to play with but we didn't go crazy with suprises.

Disneyland Day 5- Mid-day and the Rollercoaster

2011-11-08T19:39:00.000-08:00

After Disney Junior Grammi took Layla on Monster's Inc while Anyah and I used the restroom and met Mike & Sully from a distance (she didn't want to get too close). Then we met back up with daddy for a quick picture on the pier and a ride on the new Ariel ride (not impressed) we wanted to do the Toy Story ride but it was packed so we checked out the Army Men Drumming and then headed back to the hotel so everyone could take a nap. After the nap, Layla gathered all my pennies and we headed back to Anyah's happy place otherwise known as the wishing well and made some wishes. Then we took Layla to ride her first big kid ride (Thunder Mountain Railroad) which she loved while Anyah had some time with Grammi. Then we tried to check out the petting zoo but the pumpkin people totally freaked Layla out and we headed to the Tiki Room instead. Anyah was pooped and she needed a singing birdy break.

Also, on this day we ate corndogs for lunch by the area where employees enter from backstage in Disneyland. One of the cowboys (Saspirilla Jim) entered while we were eating and I pointed him out to Layla. He actually took the time to turn around and come back to talk to her. She talks about him in her stories. Good man Jim... good man.

Disneyland Day 5- Disney Junior Live!!

2011-11-08T19:12:00.000-08:00

After breakfast we went to Disney Junior Live with Grammi. We were the first people in line for the first show so the girls got front row seats (which Anyah only escaped once) and had a great time dancing with Jake and the Neverland Pirates, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Little Einsteins and Handy Manny. It was very interactive and Layla still talks about it so I highly recommend it if you have a toddler/preschooler.

Disneyland Day 5- Breakfast at the Carnation Cafe

2011-11-08T19:02:00.000-08:00

On Thursday morning after a wedding that goes on well passed 1 am the easiest way to get yourself out of bed is the promise of Mickey Mouse shaped waffles. Traditionally, Jon and I eat inside the park every day for every meal but we didn't on this trip for several reasons (budget, wedding dinners, small children) anyhow... we knew we wanted to go to the Carnation Cafe at least once. Oscar wasn't there but the girls enjoyed their first Mickey shaped waffles. Then we said bye bye to Jon for a bit while he went to get his tux back to the Best Man to return and headed off with Grammi to see PLAYHOUSE DISNEY!!

Disneyland & The Fish Wedding

2011-11-08T09:13:00.000-08:00

First let me apologize for the quality of these pictures. I forgot the camera. I got ready by myself at one end of the Disneyland area and walked to the whole other end before I remembered. So these are iPhone pictures (no flash). Some of the pictures were Jon's and some mine.

Jon was a groomsmen so I met up with him just before the wedding to say "hi, you look nice, hold your wives ID she doesn't have pockets in this dress" and then I didn't see him really again until after the wedding. Jon also sat with the wedding party at the reception so I spent my night in the company of Devon and the Santos family who made me feel right at home.

The wedding was lovely. It was in the Garden by the Disneyland hotel and it was decorated awesomely. The reception was INSIDE Disneyland. So we were escorted back to the park after it closed, taken to the reception on a private train ride and then we got to see the Haunted Mansion in it's nighttime Nightmare Before Christmas Splendor while we had the drinks reception by the New Orleans Fountain and then a private dinner and dancing. It was all lovely. iPhone's don't do the lovely wedding couple, wedding party or decor justice. I'll steal better pictures from others later.

Also, on your way out you got to be privately escorted out of lite Main Street passed the castle while the park was vacant and it's BEAUTIFUL... just like the Fish Family. We heart Chris and Brandy and love that we got to share this experience with them and support them on this new part of their relationship.

Disneyland Day 4- The Middles

2011-11-08T08:45:00.000-08:00

Suprise suprise the pictures are once again not in order.

This part of the day was officially after nap but before the wedding. Confusing much? Yeah, we'll just call it the middle. We were supposed to meet Grammi at 2 pm back at the park but the girls were still asleep so Grammi came to us at the hotel. Then we all walked back to the park and road the train. Let me tell you that the train which stops for people to load and unload and you just sit on and wait is Anyah's personal version of hell. I sang, I bounced, I fed, I begged, I pleaded, I provided her with toys... and two stops later we were off because GOD LORDY that girl can scream. No more train for her dang it. I road Autotopia with Layla and by the time we got off it Anyah had eatten a little popcorn with Grammi and went right back to sleep so Grammi took Anyah back to the hotel for some quiet time and bath (I think she was just over stimulated) and Layla and I went off to face her fears. Err... I mean ride a ride. Layla was freaked out by "flying" rides like Dumbo and the Astro Orbitors but after a ride on the tea cups (again) I talked her into riding Dumbo with the disclaimer that she would not at any time have to go up or down because there was a button and she could push it. She freaked out the whole 15 minutes in line (clinging to my leg and what not) and then of course as soon as the ride took off she immediately hit the button (over and over and over) and then RAN to the Astro Orbitor (which we rode twice- once as high as she could and then once up and down so much I thought I'd hurl). Then I had to go back to get ready for the wedding and she got to go play with Grammi and her new bubble blaster gun.

And for the record, confronting your fears ROCKS!! I am so proud of her. If you ask her right now what her favorite part of Disneyland is she will always say Dumbo and the up down rockets. She was so proud of herself and it's now what she wants to do first next time.

Disneyland Day 4- A Morning Full of Photo Ops

2011-11-08T07:50:00.000-08:00

On our 4th day at Disneyland we decided to knock out some character pictures. First stop in the park was the Pixie Hollow where the girls met Iradessa and Tink. Layla loved Iradessa who immediately noticed her light up princess shoes and asked her if she was a fairie too. Layla wasn't too sure about either fairie and wouldn't let them touch her but we still got cute photos. Layla still talks about meeting Tink. Then we headed to Tomorrow land where Layla chickened out of the Rockets and instead we were going to ride the Autotopia (Anyah was alas too short) so Layla rode with Grammi while Daddy, Anyah and I took a look at the ears and hats in Tomorrow Land while she ran around like a wild free baby. Then we all met up again and went to meet Princesses. There were 2 princesses available after our hour and half wait (yes you heard that right) and while we did manage to entertain Anyah for awhile and take a decent family photo...we eventually had to let Grammi take Anyah on a walk in the stroller while she took a walking nap (the only kind she'll take in the park) she missed the princesses but she'll see them next time. Layla got to meet Snow White (who was actually unmemorable at best) and Aurora. Aurora was amazing and actually asked her about her vacation, her favorite rides and her princess shoes. Layla is now equally smitten with Aurora and rapunzel (who she never met). We didn't care that Cinderella wasn't there because honestly Layla has only barely seen the movie and has no idea who she is. After that we rode a ride in toon town and grabbed lunch. Layla flipped out about her hotdog scenerio (her only Disney trip fit) and then we went to find the Snow White wishing well so she could use the penny she found to wish to be happy. It seems to have worked and she at her lunch outside the castle while Anyah waited impatiently because she loved the wishing well and wanted to go back. We then let Grammi go to meet up with her friends and daddy walked us back to the hotel for a nap and then he went back to ride rides. After nap there was more park for the next post...(again sorry for the random picture order)

Disneyland Night 3- Downtown Disney Dinner at Rainforest Cafe

2011-10-25T13:20:00.000-07:00

On the third night Jon and the rest of the wedding party had to go to the rehearsal which was at the Disneyland Hotel on the far end of Downtown Disney from our hotel so we decided that would be the perfect night for dinner in Downtown Disney. We picked the Rainforest Cafe since we had never been there and we had to practically run with the two kids for Grammi and I to get there on time to make that reservation. Grammi, George's Parents and Devon joined the girls and I to claim our table and we waited for Jared, George and Jon to show up before we ate dinner. It seemed like a super long wait and the kids weren't nearly as entertained by the giant fish tanks and sudden rain showers as I had hoped but they were still pretty well behaved. When the boys arrived we ordered food and everything tasted great. Then we talked back through Downtown Disney on our way back to the hotel. I love the atmosphere of Downtown Disney after dark and the kids enjoyed stopping by the World of Disney store for a special suprise and dancing to the music along the way. Layla pretended to play the violin with her glow stick wands and Anyah waved Hi to every person we passed until the fact that it was WAY passed her bedtime kicked in and then we scurried back to our hotel to put her to bed. (can you blame us? check out that stink eye photo!!)

Disneyland Day 3 & some Disney California Adventure

2011-10-25T12:38:00.001-07:00

If I had to sum up day three with 2 pictures, these would be them... Rides & Food... depending on the kid... one of those things was definitely more important than the other.

On Day 3 we rode A LOT of rides. In the morning we rode several rides in Fantasyland including but not limited to Snow White & Peter Pan (one of my favorites) then Anyah got cranky and I gave her a stroller nap while Daddy, Layla and Grammi checked out Tarzan's Tree House. Then we did Toontown which Layla absolutely loved. I ended up leaving Grammi, Daddy and Layla to take a cranky baby back to the hotel to nap. During that time they had a lot of fun playing with the different things in Toontown and exploring people's houses.

When Anyah woke up we decided to go to Disney California Adventure to ride some more rides on that side. Due to construction in the main walkway area for the remodel we actually found the crowds on this side to be smaller. Anyah and I shared an awesome clam chowder bread bowl and Layla got a holiday themed Mickey Bat Cookie. Grammi took Layla to the Phineas and Ferb Dance Party which Layla loved and then we checked out the Bugs Life area which I have never been in. The rides in this area had NO lines. Not kidding. Walked right on them and while they were mellow the baby loved them and Layla still had fun. Anyah was still super cranky (we later figured out she was cutting a canine tooth) so we went back to the hotel for a rest before Daddy went to the rehearsal for Chris and Brandy's wedding and then we all met up at Rainforest Cafe for dinner with the Santos Family (which will be a seperate post). **Once again I apologize as the pictures are out of order**

Disneyland Day 2- Meeting the Characters, Ridin' the Rides

2011-10-22T09:12:00.000-07:00

These pictures are absolutely not in order. Day 2 after we picked up Grammi we went back to the park and rode some rides (I honestly don't remember which ones) and on day 2 Anyah took a second nap and Grammi suprised her with the stuffed Donald Duck she asked for the whole first day and 2nd morning. We met a lot of Characters (Layla met Pluto and Chip while we were napping) and then we all met Mickey, Minnie and when we went to California Disney Adventure we met Handy Manny. The picture on a ride is Buzz Lightyear which Layla loved shooting things on. In the end we grabbed Layla hot dog kids meal and Anyah some fruit (which she loves) and sent them back to the hotel with Grammi and the adults went to the Bachelorette and Bachelor Parties in Downtown Disney (no pictures there- sorry what happens pre wedding- stays pre wedding (just kidding)).

Also, for the record, there are only 2 ways this can go. Either your kids love the characters or they are terrified. Anyah and Layla both ran at characters with open arms for big hugs and secret sharing so for that I am very greatful. It was a wonder thing to watch my babies meet their favorite "people".

Disneyland Day 2- Grammi Chris Arrives

2011-10-22T09:03:00.000-07:00

Once again, these pictures are going to be very out of order. Blogger just doesn't like me today and I have hundreds of pictures and several days I want to get through this morning so I am not going to try and fix it.

Monday, Grammi Chris arrived to watch the girls. Grammi Chris is Jon's mom and she lives in South Carolina so the girls only see her about once a year. The last time she was here was right after Anyah was born. I was a little worried the girls would be shy but Layla stuck to her like white on rice (even sleeping in her bed) most of the week and Layla's quick stick to Grammi made Anyah feel comfortable so we did just fine.

Layla and Daddy picked up Grammi from the airport while Ani and I went to the park for an hour and then she wanted to go back and take a nap. During our hour we rode It's a Small World 2 times back to back...that's why parenting is hard people...repeat trips to your least favorite ride. Hopefully she'll read this one day and know how much I must have loved her.

Once we all met up again we had some McDonald's in the hotel room and headed back to the park to ride some rides before Jon and I headed off to the Bachlorette and Bachelor parties.

Disneyland Day 1- Hanging with Friends

2011-10-22T08:45:00.000-07:00

The first day at the park was the only day we truly got to hang out with our friends. We arrived at the park, checked in at the hotel *cue drama*, checked in for our Annual passes (which is a little labor intensive with 3 steps), rode a ride and then found everyone else (well technically we had already found Chris and Brandy). Then we went into the park. This pictures loaded backwards... First we took the girls on the Teacups, then there was Mr. Toads Wild Ride with everyone else and It's a Small World with everyone else. Both girls loved the tea cups, Layla asked to do Mr Toad a second time and the next day Anyah made me ride "singing baby world 2 more times" after that thankfully she burnt out because she doesn't know all the words to the song and Mommy was going crazy listening to her. Anyah on It's a Small World.
This is Chris Fish, he got married at Disneyland and that's why we were there. The girls took to Chris very quickly. Also in the picture is Godfather George and his brother Jared who were Groomsmen with Daddy in the wedding. Layla had her own Entourage that first day which was awesome.

Anyah was a little freaked out by the crowd. Normally she only gets bottles and pacifiers during nap time but we made an exception on this trip so she could feel comforted. You'll be seeing a lot of "ba ba" pictures I'm sure.

See that? That's the look your kids have for about 10 minutes during and after each Disneyland ride, then you get in another line and it goes away until the next ride starts.

This is as close as we get to a token under the Disney flowers picture, we took it while Daddy was getting his Annual Pass Photo... I don't get the whole flower picture obsession... but we tried for your sake.

Disneyland Fireworks (Night 1)

2011-10-22T08:34:00.001-07:00

At the last minute we added a day to our trip, leaving Turlock a day early so that the girls would arrive at Disneyland on a Sunday because the firework show is only available on the weekends. While Daddy went off with his friends to check out Electronica (the Tron themed Club in Disney California Adventure) we staked out a spot for an hour and half to have good seats for the fireworks. I brought glow sticks and light up Mickey Pumpkin heads from home and the girls were pretty entertained by those while we waited (at first) but by the time everyone else arrived Godfather George had to save the day with a Mickey Mouse glowing (and color changing balloon) and some Mickey Mouse Ice Cream.

Both girls wore just as much Ice Cream as they ate which made it even cuter.

Anyah ate hers faster than Layla and Daddy could share the other one. My little foodie, I'm so proud.

When the fireworks started we stood up and watched from our awesome spot. I held Anyah.

Godfather George held Layla for a bit and then she scored the ultimate spot on the back of Daddy's shoulders.

After the fireworks we went straight back to the hotel and the girls crashed out. Daddy went back to the park for a little bit I think, I don't remember... I was sleepy, I slept. Ha ha.

The Land Of Mouse

2011-10-21T19:59:00.000-07:00

We took the girls on their first trip to Disneyland. I plan on posting a day by day recap including a small post about Brandy & Chris Fish's wedding since that's why we were there once my muscles stop aching and my kids settle down. Until then... here are some highlight family shots to hold you over while I edit the 398 other pictures. I insisted the girls get mouse ears since I own my first pair and it's a huge milestone to get ears. We're annual passholders now so we'll be going back several times this year (now that we know the girls can handle it) and that means they'll get a lot of wear.

The girls enjoyed walking around until their feet hurt and then rolling around in the stroller or being carried by whomever they could talk into it after that. This shot was Layla walking Anyah to the wishing well because she found 2 cents on the ground and wanted to make another wish.

We took a lot of family photos in an attempt to get a good one. In every one someone is looking the wrong way or has hair in their face or squinted. But you know what, I sort of love it that way. This one was in the one hour wait to meet a princess. Anyah ended up going for a walk in the stroller with Grammi Chris and falling asleep so she can meet princesses on our next trip. Layla got to meet 2 princesses though so it was worth the hour.

This shot was my favorite. We took it in Toon Town and it was right before I walked Anyah back to the hotel so she could take a 2 plus hour nap so she isn't smiling but that "stop it mom" look grows on you after 6 days in Disneyland.

Plus no matter how fussy she was, in 30 years I'll only remember the way she threw her hands up, squeeled with glee and ran to hug Mickey Mouse when she saw him.

Yep, definitely worth it.

Things of Note

2011-10-14T20:29:00.001-07:00

My Secret Pal at work decorated my desk for Halloween- Surprise!!

Anyah is going thru a phase where she turns into a TV zombie when she first wakes up- thanks Little Einstiens!

And I look at her and can't believe a year ago we looked like this....(happy international baby wearing week)

Layla is spending one last night at Nannie's so that while Jon and Anyah let me sleep she could soak up lots of love because between our trip to Disneyland and then mom's trip to Vegas which she leaves on the day we get back, Layla will go 2 whole weeks without seeing Nannie which hasn't happened to her in almost 3 years.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Morning

2011-10-11T00:39:00.001-07:00

I come home in the still dark, cold, earliest of morning before the sun dares to shine but after the moon has begun to fade.

I tiptoe thru creeping hardwood hallways and kick off shoes, stripping away work worries with my work clothing.

I climb into bed, sometimes forced to meld myself around babies camped in the safe haven of my blankets no longer worried about things that went bump in the night.

I doze half hearted until 30 minutes or an hour passes and the first wisp of sunlight stirs tiny people like flowers in the morning sun slowly up from bed.

We stumble, a tiny parade of bed head, heavy feet and tired eyes to the living room where we soak up love and kisses until from half awake hugs in fuzzy blankets they revive to run about making noise and reenacting scenes from the morning Disney entourage.

And the noise grows, and the light gets brighter through the French doors, until the baby demands breakfast and the big girl demands to help...

Then comes the quiet, like ebb and flow... Ushered in with cinnamon toast smiles and chased away with sugar coated giggles....

And it is my morning.

-Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Over it

2011-10-08T07:14:00.001-07:00

There are trips to pack for and errands to run.

There to do lists and to do not lists.

There is a pantry to make the best of and a fridge of potential for dinner that doesn't make itself.

There are bugs and things that bug me.

There is patience to be tested and new buttons to push.

And then there is that moment that your kids melt your heart...

Which will someday be the only thing we remember about this week.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Rainy Day

2011-10-05T16:37:00.001-07:00

The first light rain meant a day spent with open doors and windows and playing inside wherever their imaginations took them...

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Chaos Managed

2011-10-03T16:02:00.001-07:00

There is so much going on around here right now I can't even imagine getting more than a bullet point blog done this week...

*I taught Layla to give people bunny ears during her birthday lunch

* I am taking a prayer team training class and the prayers and moments of silence are consuming me

* Anyah has been extra cuddly lately ...

* I made a giant packing checklist for our Disneyland trip

* I bought sexy purple shoes for the wedding and now I need a pedicure.

* I am exhausted

* I am also a glutton for punishment, an have a life change in the works for November.

* there is no cold pepsi

And that folks is all I have in time for a blog right now, sorry.

Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

To Layla on her 4th Birthday

2011-09-27T23:54:00.001-07:00

Four. How can that be? Four. It seems more like 4 months since the I remember finding out it would be the day that you were to be born. Wasn't it just yesterday that you snuggled up against me while we slept in bed all swaddled in your blankie with that pacifier rhythmically pulling in and out of your mouth as you sucked all.night.long. It seemed like such a long time before you would be four, then *bing* here it is. Four.

I sat on the floor with you once and tried over and over and over to get you to say "mama" and now you say my name just to say it. "mama", "mom", "allie", "mom", "Mom", "MOM", "mommy" until I want to scream, because you don't actually want anything… you just-can't-stop-talking. No really… you can't. You literally talk from when you wake up in the morning until you fall asleep. It is not uncommon for you to doze off in the dark mid sentence while I lay there and wonder if you are going to talk to me until midnight. You love to visit. I understand… you come from a long line of Big Fish Storytellers and it is going to serve you well one day. Until that day, Mommy and Daddy will try our best to be patient while you narrate every.single.thing that EVER happens. (this is not an exageration)

I remember when you used to co-sleep with us. Oh wait. That was earlier tonight. Nevermind. You still don't like to sleep alone so often before you doze off mid-sentence you come wandering across the hall in your pajamas holding Pandi the Panda Bear and crawl up into Daddy's side of the bed for a good snuggle. Once you're back asleep, Daddy has the pleasure of toting you back to your bed. I would tell you no… but there will come a day when I long for that snuggle time and so I let you crawl on in and steal all the pillows… because I remember so vividly the way you smelled as a baby snuggled between me and daddy and how quickly that all changed and so I am in no rush to kick you off to be a big girl yet.

In some ways though, you are ever the big girl. You, for the most part, dress yourself. You kinda struggle with jean zippers still… but in all fairness you prefer dresses and leggings so it's not like you get a lot of practice. You love story time at the library and bringing home books to read before nap time (which I force you to take still because for-the-love-of-God the silence is necessary during the all day talking spree). You love craft time, projects and being a helper… especially if that helping involves scissors, glue or making a mess in my kitchen. You love helping Daddy outside or bugging him while he works on things around the house.

Your tastes have changed a lot this year. While you still love being outside, you now like your outside time alone in the back yard. You still love games… but have recently discovered that losing is not-so-awesome, and really only want to play things you think you'll win. You love to cook and you're finally starting to try more new foods…unless that food contains a pea. There is no forgiving peas. You like to draw. You will write your name if we ask you to write it someplace other than on a lined piece of paper. In fact, until your recent discovery that you could write your name on a plastic cup with a marker, I wasn't entirely sure you could do it without Daddy or I walking you through it but you can… you just don't want to.

You can count to… well… honestly, I think you can probably count to 50…maybe 100. You can count to 20 in spanish. You can count to 5 in chinese. You know your whole alphabet, how to write your letters and most of your numbers. You know all your colors and shapes and you like to entertain yourself by learning. You especially like to spend time in the car looking for things "can you find a sign with a 3 on it?", "do you see a square?" and things like that. You're a very smart girl and sometimes your so logical that you give Daddy and I a lot of laughs. Last week you told Daddy that being able to eat cereal whenever he wants wasn't "part of being daddy" like he said… you insisted that "fingers, toes and hairy faces are parts of a daddy".

You love to tell jokes. Of course, you laugh so hard I have no idea what half the jokes are. My favorite is your only knock knock joke. "knock knock" "who's there" "orange you glad I said not a banana". Now, I know that there are more lines to that joke but usually your laughing so hard that I can't hear the rest. You also like to do silly dances, jump around and make faces at your sister to get her into a fit of giggles. You love being active, so any time you can work in a full dance number complete with a somersault you're totally game for that. Some of the funniest things you do, you don't do on purpose. For instance, "hang-a-burg-a-lur" is a way better word than hamburger…thusly, I have no intention of ever telling you that you do it wrong because darn it… I need the laugh. Also, the fact that you must shake your tushy whenever you see a mirror… adorable.

So your four years old, you like walks on the beach, talking on the phone with friends, bounce houses, Educational Television (Team UmiZoomi, Dora the Explorer, etc), Disney Junior, Duck Tales on DVD, My Lil Ponies, card games, electronic toys with lots of buttons, light up shoes, yogurt, chicken stars, carrots with extra extra extra ranch dressing, scrambling your own eggs, mud pies, chasing your sister around and making her squeel, making a mess, sorting things, road trips to anywhere, going to visit people, all dogs, most public events, library books, bath time, rides at the fair, going to Daddy's work for chocolate milk, running errands with Mommy, spending the night at Nannie & PopPop's house, the farmer's market/fruit stand, drawing paper and crayons or water color paints, play dough, any toy that involves physical activity and watching it rain. You dislike cats that make you itchy, people who smell like smoke (or as you call them stinky people), peas, strange textured foods, loud noises with no warning, socks without shoes, having your waist length hair brushed (not that you'll let me cut it off), nap time, water on your face in the bathtub, when people tell you no, when it's time to leave the park and little sisters who snatch your stuff when you're trying to play alone.

At four years old, you are suddenly your own little person. You've got likes and dislikes all your own. You have opinions. Oh good lord, the opinions. You know what you want, and you'll tell us *over and over and over*. There are some things about your personality that amaze me. You love every one. You love people with that Jesus Christ and the Apostles- I will always love you no matter what you are or what you do- sort of love which is AMAZING to watch. You have an epic ability to find a way to make people smile. You are mostly brave about the big things and mostly scared about the little things. You are a definite member of the no.one.picks.on.my.baby.sister.but. me club. and you tell Daddy and I all the time that "I've always wanted to love you"… which makes my heart happy.

Because you know what? I've always wanted to love you. I have always loved you. So has your Daddy. And we always will, whether your are 4 or 104… even if you never stop talking and that my dear… is saying something.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Our Week

2011-09-23T07:33:00.001-07:00

Last Thursday I took Layla to story time at the library for older kids and Anyah stayed with Daddy at home.

It was definitely a better fit for Layla but Anyah would have been miserable.

Well except for the bell shaking dance, she would have liked that.

Then we came home and the girls had some art time together which was just enough interaction to get Layla a cold...

Which she of course gave to Anyah.

It's a sister thing, like sharing your new blue bowl and letting someone smaller sit in your pretend soup.

Eventually, Layla was much better. She even made a trip to the grocery store and an overnight stay at Nannie's without too much drama.

It took Anyah a little longer but I think we are on the upswing now, which is good since Saturday is Layla's 4th Birthday Party.

And to celebrate surviving the sickies and get ready for our upcoming trip to Disneyland for the Fish wedding... I chopped off and died my hair.

Now excuse me while I go start cooking for tomorrow.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Almost Over

2011-09-15T08:42:00.001-07:00

I feel the end of summer every morning as the gets predictively cooler. So I encourage running in the sprinkler some more before the time arrives for hunting for fallen leaves and cuddling with hot cider to read while it rains...

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Did I Mention Nannie had a birthday?

2011-09-14T13:04:00.001-07:00

We crashed her house with pineapple upside down cake, streamers and a present.

But I think the only thing she really liked was the little girls I brought.

Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Augusts End

2011-09-14T12:29:00.001-07:00

The baby thinks she's a toddler now...

She even started stealing the tricycle from Layla.

Jon had a birthday and we went to Old Town Sac with George & Devon to celebrate...

Aren't they cute?

And I had too much to drink, see?!

The girls and I got Jon a Cajun Drum.

Anyah took to fairy wings...

Layla discovered Anyah is finally big enough to be fun to play with at the park...

So there was much singing, swinging and laughing...

And a timid little curly top trying to do everything her big sister did...

And while she failed to slide she is an expert big kid swinger...

This sisters thing seems to get easier every month.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Birthday for Big Daddy

2011-08-27T07:17:00.001-07:00

He is the kind of dad willing to support you, willing to go on adventurers and to cheer you on...

He is also the one to calm you down if you are upset, to walk you through something new if you need a little direction or to hold your hand and whisper in your ear until your not scared anymore...

He is a family man, mr fix it, a sexy hippie and my best friend...

Which is why I married him.

It is also his birthday today so I am spilling my love in the best way I can, by lining up a road trip and dinner with friends and no kids...

Happy Birthday Jon!! We love you!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Lil Mamas

2011-08-25T14:23:00.001-07:00

She calls them all 'bay-a-bee' an they are all her babies. As a forward projection of how well she has been loved she cuddles and kisses them every chance she gets. This newest one is the smallest and purchased because it is the perfect size just for her. She tells her 'i ove ewww' and tucks her into beds made from buckets and boxes and covered with clothes or dish towels. She tells her she looks 'pah ritty' and dances with her in front of the mirror. Just now she wiped her tiny plastic face with her hand and proclaimed her 'awl cween' before rocking her back and forth telling her 'it ok' while patting her tiny back.

It reminds me so much of someone I used to know, someone I used to be.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Scrub a Dub

2011-08-24T20:35:00.001-07:00

It used to be my quiet time. I would put them in a tub and listen to a lull of splash splash and swirling warm water for awhile...

And then they got bigger.

And now it's washing each other with overflowing cups of water and a bubble brigade...and singing...dear lord the singing...

But they're so cute when they are clean... No?

-Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Day to Day with Photos

2011-08-22T16:56:00.001-07:00

Oh my goodness, where have all the days of summer gone? It's been so busy and yet... Did we actually really do anything? Now fall is making a graceful entrance and I find myself prepping for Jon's birthday this weekend and Layla's birthday party next month and I know it's just a blink of time and I will be standing in Disneyland for the Fish wedding and then watching my girls trick or treat... A year isn't as long as it seemed when I was younger.

I mean this right here happened in the last 2 weeks...

Mud pies and play dates with Peter Pan and Little Joe...

Birthday parties for our little buddy Mia...

Cupcakes and goodie bags filled with glow sticks (layla's latest obsession)...

And saying cheese with pizza face...

And corn on the cob...

And the passing down of favorite jammies...

And crazy hair to protect babies from frosting...

Which really is necessary...

And football with new friends in Ca and old friends from the south...

And gnome love...

And even a wagon ride at sunset...

Even with a whole lot of nothing it seems we've been up to a lot of something after all.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Summer Stacked Up

2011-08-12T08:24:00.001-07:00

It's been so busy here. I know I say that a lot but it's been a blur of MRI's, physical therapy for my back and unrelated dentist appointments for me plus kids learning and growing and trying new things, add a splash of Jon's booked solid and a little my work is a mad house and goodness me it's CrAzY here.

There was the girls first baseball game and my company picnic. Go Modesto Nuts.

And Anyah turned into Princess "Me Too" so there has been extra extra help in my kitchen.

And some sister time all at home in our jammies.

There was the whole day I demanded that everyone help clean up.

And the day PopPop took Layla fishing for the first time.

There was a hike at Knights Ferry where Anyah got a mad boo boo on her face.

And Queen "all by myself" did a zillion crafts.

There was the morning Anyah woke up an inch and a half taller with a neck.

And dinner with our favorite people.

Plus the baby became a toddler when I wasn't looking.

And the toddler is suddenly a preschooler, which I expressly remember saying wasn't allowed.

And that's just the last 3 weeks in highlights, imagine how much we missed talking about.

But sometimes I'd rather live it than write about it.

-Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

A Wittler Girl

2011-07-26T02:22:00.001-07:00

Her first Sno Shack... Watermelon.

It's not one of those firsts like first word or first step but it's monumental none the less. Shave Ice was a sign of summer when I was young. You would burn your feet on the asphalt holding your much coveted $2.00 in quarters and trying to decide between the exotic (tiger's blood) or the domestic (watermelon).

Layla wanted PINK which they didn't have so she settled for watermelon. She won't eat real watermelon so I figured I'd end up paying $3.50 to give myself sugar shock, but she had about half which is impressive for a 3 year old who isn't into things too sweet, too cold or too new most of the time.

"you're such a big girl now" I told her and as always panic stricken she began correcting me...

"no mom I not a big girl, I'm just a littler girl" complete with that soft w I love which replaces the first L in Layla and makes her Wayla.

I tell her it's ok, I forgot. She's not a big girl.

But I think to myself, she looks so much bigger these days I must have forgotten, again.

Not that I am in a hurray to lose my little girl. Quite the opposite. I want to stall time so there is more whispering under blankets, more big armed hugs and more sloppy silly kisses before she's too big and I am stuck looking at that picture of her first snow cone and wishing she still wanted to be my little girl.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Flashback of a different color

2011-07-21T17:09:00.001-07:00

When I was in my 20’s and a fresh college drop out with a boyfriend several years my senior, I went to a party in a townhouse too small to hold the 45 people who showed up to celebrate someone’s birthday. Wedged in the corner between the wobbly card table holding the hodge podge of all our alcohol which had been toted in swaddled in small brown bags and the couch with the floral print inherited from someone’s mother who decided it was too 1985 after the cat shredded the left arm rest and the cigarette burn hole in the middle cushion had started to spread was a small stereo with a double tape deck. That old radio was playing mixed tapes at a medium volume which somehow managed to mix everything from Sweet Home Alabama to the current (at the time) Ace of Base party songs. Amidst the CCR, TimMcGraw, Vanilla Ice and Dr. Dre random party playlist was a single Journey song and when the first cord hit the air in that room, the whole room dynamic changed. The entire room, wedged with over intoxicated, slightly over heated and definitely over fluffed for the opposite gender party goers one by one became a singing flash mob. “When the sun goes down in the city”… line by line more people sang until the clatter of bottles and exchange of great thinkers slowly trickled into “na na na’s”. Everybody knew the words. Everybody sounded good. Anyone can sing a Journey song well after a few drinks and those that can’t…well you love them even more because their just better entertainment for the crowd. The song ended and everyone went back to the den of sin, doing what people do at 2 am on a Friday night after the lights go down in the City. This is what Christianity is like for me. It’s 45 people stuck in a tiny room trying to get what they want and hide what they need. It’s a hodge podge of awkward surroundings and hand me down ideas. It’s a few big thinkers being drowned out by 40 other people who just want to get by for the night. And every now and again if you’re lucky… it’s everybody taking a moment to be one, to sing one song at one time and love every single moment of it. Yes, I just compared the a den of sin to the ultimate salvation of man kind, but you know what… I’m right. Put 45 Christians in a room and have them right down what worship is and you’ll get 45 answers. Perspective rules the world, baby. But, put 45 Christian’s in a room and start up the worship band with a song everyone knows… and you’ll raise the hairs on every room with a 1 block radius. It’s a group thing. It’s the power of many voices raised as one. It’s the ability to leave behind what you’re thinking about just long enough to just do something. It’s doing that something like you enjoy it with every ounce of your being. It’s taking a chance that someone might hear you sing off key but it will be ok because you mean it from the bottom of your heart. It’s living in the moment. It’s not having a plan and just doing it anyhow. And somehow, I’d like to find a way to bring that feeling back to my spirituality… because somewhere, I think I lost it… I lost my love of the community, of the voices raised as one, I love that ability to live in the moment and I need to find it again.

Hot Dog It's Summer

2011-07-19T02:13:00.001-07:00

Summer is a busy time of year for everyone, we are no exception. In the last 2 weeks we have been to doctor's visits, dental appointments, and even an eye exam. We had family over for a birthday lunch, worked, played and learned, and we managed...

A zoo trip with cousins...

A playdate with Jen & Mia...

A trip for ice cream before bed...

Making some fun new recipes...

Trying some new stuff to see if we like it...

Becoming a big girl who sleeps in a big bed and eats in a big chair...

Going to the fair to eat corndogs and ride rides...

Not to mention all the day to day normal life stuff and a healthy dose of drama more than once.

But its summer... I think its supposed to be like this, right?

-Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Every Day America

2011-07-07T18:26:00.001-07:00

We're blessed with markets filled with food and produce stands filled with affordable nutrition for our children to consume and grow healthy and strong.

We get to spend quality time handing down traditions and passing our favorite childhood experiences on to our children, from first piggy tails all the way through first vacations and holidays.

And we get to spend too much money recreating moments of awe and splendor in hopes that the every day and the just one day a year blend together into a life experience that teaches them to love and live well.

Because we don't know what will be their favorite childhood memory, that dinner we shared every night or just that one day we wrote our names with sparklers... And really it doesn't matter because we have freedom and a life of plenty and with that blessing of independence and safety they have a chance every day in America.

Every day.

And there are places where that isn't so. There are places were people wouldn't sign up to protect and serve in their honor so they can feel safe to learn and grow every single day.

There are people who don't get the blessing of every day with their families. They don't have the memory of dinner together every night or holidays spent together every year.

So to those who make the commitment and get up every day to do that heavy hearted job of saving the world, I send my thanks...

Not because this week had independence day...

But every day because of every day in America.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Water Babies

2011-07-03T15:04:00.001-07:00

Yesterday my little flower girls got to go swimming at George & Devon's Engagement BBQ.

Layla panicked in the car, she said swimming was dangerous and the water was too tall. After being assured she wouldn't have to swim she calmed down and in typical preschooler fashion was swimming with daddy within 30 minutes.

By the end of the first hour, both Jon and I were in the pool with both girls. Layla opted to swim unassisted with a swim ring, chasing Jon all over the pool. Anyah liked swimming around with mommy, flirting with people outside the pool from the steps and jumping in from the side of the pool so Mommy could catch her.

I see swimming lessons in our near future.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Bang! Bullet Post

2011-07-01T07:53:00.001-07:00

Some things you may want to know about this week:

- I am excited tomorrow because our little future flower girls get to go swimming with George & Devon.

- I work the 4th of July but we're going to try and squeeze in a few fireworks for Layla.

- I have 4 days off next week so I am hoping to see a few people I haven't seen in awhile.

- Today I posted new recipes on FatGirlEats including Penny's Macaroni Salad, Jeromy's BBQ Veggies w/ Thyme and my Santa Maria Grill Rub.

- I have some great zoo pictures to load when I have time to mess with my camera.

- I am skipping Farmer's Market this week for sleep.

- I have been reduced to bullet points *sigh*

- See how cute Ani is when she pretends to be Nannie soaking her feet. That makes up for a
lot.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

One last playdate

2011-06-30T14:18:00.001-07:00

Yesterday we went to the zoo. The kids, me, my Godson and my BFF.

Tomorrow they go back to Washington and Layla is bummed. She asked twice today if we could go get them and then tried to compromise that she'd go next week and I had to explain they wouldn't be there next week.

And, rightly so, she is pissed because he is her new BFF and she misses him.

And I can relate because I am already missing his mother. I have started my countdown until they come back. Maybe next time will be sooner and Ani will finally let someone hold her...

maybe...

-Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

The First Ingredient

2011-06-23T13:39:00.001-07:00

Scene: I am in the kitchen gathering ingredients for dinner prep.

*the putter patter of bare feet running on tile*

Layla: Mommy, what's going on here?

Me: I'm making a lasagna for Daddy for dinner.

Layla: Why?

Me: Because I love him.

Layla: I love him, I'll help you, ok?

Me: Ok, get your brown chair to stand on.

*toddler drags chair practically on top of my feet*

Layla: What's the first step, mom?

~flashback~ 6 years old in Grandma Gerty's kitchen~

Me: What's the first ingredient in Grandpa's soup, Grandma?

Gerty: It's love sugar, lean over this pot and give me a big ole kiss.

*I lean over and kiss her*

Gerty (looking in empty pot): oh yes, I reckon that's just enough to get started.

~end flashback~

Me: It's love baby, lean over this pan and give me a big kiss.

*Layla raises one eyebrow then grins and leans over to give me a big kiss*

Me (looking in pan) Oh yes, that looks just about perfect.

End scene.

Scene 2/Breakfast prep 30 minutes later: Anyah screaming at my feet while I make waffles. Layla waiting at the kitchen table.

Me: Fine Ani, come up here and help just stop yelling for God's sake.

Layla yells from table: Don't forget the love Mom.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Their Dad

2011-06-19T14:20:00.001-07:00

I couldn't have picked a better daddy for my children if I had tried.

Happy Daddy's Day, Jon!

We love you!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Summer List 2011

2011-06-17T01:46:00.001-07:00

Inspired by both last years list and my friend Christine (who just made a list with her kids... I have decided to make a list of some fun things we're going to try to do this summer.

This list is bigger stuff to squeeze in-between days spent eating too much ice cream, running in the sprinklers and having BBQ with our favorite friends and family.

- swimming lessons for Layla
- Anyah's first S'mores
- water park with friends
- go to the zoo
- visit the county fair to ride carnival rides, eat junk and pet farm animals
- take an over night trip to the ocean to see the tide pools, visit the aquarium and play on the beach
- watch fireworks and play with sparklers
- play at the lake and go fishing
- attend a minor league baseball game
- picnic and feed ducks at the park
- ride a horse at Pa's ranch
- play mini golf

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

A Week w/ Curvatude

2011-06-16T15:00:00.001-07:00

My week tends to start on Thursday since I always have Tuesday & Wednesday off now. Thursday's are my clean start, speaking of which... Jon cleaned out the jungle back yard.

Friday morning I get home from work just before 7 and the girls are usually climbing out of bed and making noise. I do the usual breakfast routine but then they get dressed and head off to the Farmer's Market. This last week was bring your stuffed animal to the EMC healthy clinic... and we picked up our produce and ordered some cookies to pick up for a party next week while Anyah scored a $20 alpaca by giving it snotty kisses which forced me to purchase it.

I come home and sleep and wake up for crazy kid time and dinner and bedtime rolls around and I take a nap so I can wake up refreshed for my night shift.

As with everywhere else Friday leads to Saturday and then Sunday in a strange cycle of errands, bath times, bed times and chores.

And before I know it it's Monday at work, the day we're all there which means getting stuff done, having birthday potlucks, and wondering where my week went.

Tuesday is my first night off. So after getting home in the morning I sleep a bit and then the girls and I do something fun. This week Daddy was off too so we made dinner and George and Devon came to eat, play with their god daughters and then after the girls went to bed we played a little Munchkin.

Wednesday is always fun around here. My only full day off will overflow with awesome if I get my way... This week that meant play dates with family friends down to visit from Washington.

And after naptime, some dinner at Lulu's and ice cream...

And then a much needed rinse off on a hot day...

Then Thursday happened to be my payday so while Daddy slept in, Layla played blocks and Anyah taught herself how to climb long enough for me to pay bills.

Eventually we got out of our jammies and went to get supplies for the next week and all the fun it has planned in it:

-Farmer's Market (Fri)
-Brandy's Bridal Shower (Sat)
-Father's Day (Sun)
-Slumber Party w/ the Displaced Californian & my Godson & a healthy dose of water play (Tue)
-Zoo playdate (Wed)

Good times are here and summer is well under way.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Learning About Mom Time

2011-06-09T17:26:00.001-07:00

Most of the time I am all about work, kids, family time, and keeping up the steady flow of clean house and 3 kid meals a day. So yesterday meeting with the pastor and squeezing a pedicure between a doctors appointment and that appointment with the pastor was a big deal. A couple hours of mom doing something mom needs and wants to do kid free can really change your perspective.

Of course that was yesterday and today is back to the kids and errands balanced between meals, naps, and locating lost baby earring backs.

But at least I have a little proof it happened...

French tipped proof even.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Sick n Tired

2011-06-05T15:17:00.001-07:00

I've got sick babies, one of which only sleeps while being held. So life goes but blogging goes on hold.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Fail

2011-05-27T14:32:00.000-07:00

May, being the month with not a lot in it, was going to be my month of redemption, rest and quality time with the girls. Well, there has been time. But, I am not entirely sure most of it was of the quality either of us had in mind.

It's not all cookies, craft projects, homeschool books and trips to local events. Sometimes it's the voice you wish you never had to use saying things you wish you never said, or one too many apologies to the husband because you know you're capable of being more than you are... those times... May was full of them.

May is ending though and it can take it's anxiety ridden, chore overwhelmed, and burnt dinner bringing days with it.

June... I'm looking at you buddy... you better make some magic for me.

Around Now

2011-05-14T05:14:00.001-07:00

With spring comes the urge to leave the house.

And we find ourselves at Farmer's markets, the zoo, on a walk to the ice cream parlor, playing in the sprinkler...

And the dishes pile up, floors need mopping and laundry to be put away...

But we focus on what matters, spending quality time with each other.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Shadow

2011-05-06T02:13:00.001-07:00

My back is out. The work day is already long and unforgiving. My ATM card is having a crisis of identity. I want to be home snuggled with snoring babies. I dream of when people danced together in the sunlight. It was only yesterday but it fills much much farther away.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

We've Been Busy Since Easter

2011-05-04T14:38:00.000-07:00

We've gone for walks, except for the last time (when we drove), to LuLu's for ice cream, french fries and hamburgers...

We volunteered at the March for Dimes event in Modesto and Jon and Layla completed the Walk for Babies which was just over 4 miles long while Anyah and I gave out Non-profit information.

We've done A LOT of playing outside, taking full advantage of tricycles, scooters, sand boxes and most recently, the new water toy from Jen. The girls are a little scared with it turned on all the way but love playing with it like this...

Plus these two Easter Cuties are enjoying playing with their basket goodies and the wonderful gifts Anyah got for her FIRST birthday. I have a lot to talk about but sadly, I worked 8 nights in a row last week and my house looks like something out of a hoarder's TV show. So first, let me do some dishes, laundry and toy pick up and hopefully after that I'll meet you all back here with a full pepsi with ice and we'll get around to talking about things and stuff...

My Kitchen Helper

2011-04-25T16:31:00.001-07:00

Raising helpers is something that comes naturally in my family. We like to cook so the kids end up congregating around the kitchen floor at an early age and as soon as they can follow basic instructions we try to turn the adults from a cooking show to a real world classroom.

Three is the perfect age for mixing without spilling, getting and returning things from the pantry and helping to combine ingredients.

This is Layla in the kitchen making a salad for a recent BBQ with George and Devon.

Thanks to salads like these she'll know the name of a variety of vegetables and she may one day even become willing to eat a few more of them.

What are your favorite real life classroom lessons?

Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

To Anyah on her 1st Birthday

2011-04-22T19:23:00.000-07:00

My Darling Ani-Bee,

A year...wow... really? This year has gone by so fast. Just a moment ago you were a snuggly little baby who barely fit in her newborn onsies and now all the sudden your walking around the kitchen, a full teethy grin on your face, talking to your sister and trying to steal my cookie cutters from the drawer. So fast, it moves so fast...time just kept on going and we went right along with it.

You are all new and improved this week. You got a walking/riding toy from Godfather George for your birthday and since that time you've been an unstoppable walker. You've always been timid about letting go and just walking. You'll do it but it takes some prompting. Suddenly, you've got a little car to hold on to and the world, it is at your disposal. Not that you need it, because girl you drag it behind you instead of using it to hold yourself up...but it does make you feel better.

You know what else makes you feel better? Food. Oh lordy, you are such a little foodie just like your mother. You'll steal a bite of just about anything off of just about anyone's plate. You flirt until they hand it over and then you tell us "good" and "nom nom nom" over and over insuring that you might get some more.

You still don't like strangers, or loud noises. You're not fond of apricots, corn or hot dogs. You dislike wind coming through open car windows and when you can't figure out how a toy works.

You are twice as independent as your sister was at this age. You are continent to crawl alone to your room to play by yourself with your toys or spend 30 minutes figuring out which cups fit inside each other in your nesting toy. If no one bothers you then you will play with the same toy for much longer than most babies. Today you played with your tea party set for almost 30 minutes, opening and closing the lid so it would sing and dancing then putting treats in and out of it and laughing.

Your my quiet one. You are a little tiny watcher. You remember everything. You take it all in. You're curious but cautious. You're sweet and flirtacious with an explosive temper which takes forever to tip off (much like your daddy).

You love to crawl to daddy as soon as he gets home and make him carry you around. You love giving mommy kisses and making Nannie play with you. You are turning into to quite the little stinker when you put your mind to it.

Layla and you push each others buttons but even now you're the first one there to comfort her when she blows up like a little drama queen and she is the first one to cheer you on when you finally get brave enough to take a step. You compliment each other so well, helping each other with the things that require a little back up to get through. You're already starting to show how well you can love each other and it swells my heart.

Never before has there been a baby more calm and determined. These two gifts, I am sure, will prove to be your blessings from God. Some day that calm reserve and determined resolve are going to great things. (Or perhaps he knew about your sisters temper and just wanted to give you the tools you'd need to deal) Either way, it's gonna be a great blessing.

And you, you are our great blessing. Happy first birthday love.

Mommy and daddy are so proud of you so far and can't wait to see what the next year brings. We all love you so much.

1st Bday Delay

2011-04-22T06:23:00.001-07:00

Additional letters and posts for Anyah's first birthday will be up later today, until then sustain yourself with the cuteness...

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Room to Grow

2011-04-20T17:24:00.001-07:00

Give her something to push and a wide expanse of open floor and suddenly she's all over the place.

Today we started homeschooling. Preschool started with A is for Apple.

We spent time learning while I listened to little people shuffle in circles behind me.

Everybody is growing.

Maybe they are like goldfish. Maybe they just needed a bigger bowl so they could start growing.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Excuses

2011-04-15T00:18:00.001-07:00

I'm off prepping for Anyah's Birthday Party Sunday...

Much clean up might be needed to make her presentable, so no blogging until Monday... Sorry.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

A Yard

2011-04-13T04:44:00.001-07:00

A place to stand in the shade and watch them explore

A place to play ball and watch bugs on the concrete

A place to ride really fast down hill and turn really slowly because your too busy watching your peddles and ringing your bell

A place for running it out and catching adventurous new creatures

A place for singing at the top of your lungs and using your outside voice

A place for sidewalk chalk drawings, hopscotch and ABCs in pastel from wobbly little hands

A place for bubbles and a juice on the steps watching the neighbors

Just what they always wanted...

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Sprung

2011-04-11T11:43:00.001-07:00

This week while we were laying about with Influenza C and cursing swines everywhere something happened.

First the showers stopped. Then the breeze seemed eerily perfect. I noticed the sun was bright but not too bright.

Oh crap...

Spring has sprung and we missed it...

So today Layla and I busted out the sidewalk chalk and while she worked out her "I am all better now" cabin fever, I hacked up a lung and listened for Anyah's nap to end so I'd have a reason to take my still mildly sick self back inside.

While the evidence of the spring sprung is now drawn on my sidewalk I am still reluctantly feeling like the chick who didn't hatch on the first warm day.

Perhaps tomorrow there will be more spring in my step.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Not so Dark

2011-04-10T21:59:00.001-07:00

The girls room was HORRIBLY painted when we got this house. Dark, dark brown with white stripes. Layla found it very scary, she does like it when a flashlight doesn't make a room less dark.

So today there was tinted primer and paint.

Maybe someday she'll actually sleep there...

But not tonight she snuck back to our bed about 20 minutes after bedtime.

Perhaps we need more hanging lanterns.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Overwhelming

2011-04-09T13:39:00.001-07:00

This is our back yard as seen from my bedroom window. This overwhelming overgrown patch of life is a pretty big metaphor for how I feel this week.

I am off work again with a highly contagious influenza which Anyah also has and Layla and Jon are just getting over.

There is a 1st birthday party here in 8 days and it will be slightly scaled down but hopefully a celebration of Anyah and the fact that we can all breath again... Then after that maybe we'll think about the yard.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

LuLu's

2011-04-06T16:25:00.001-07:00

Turlock is sporting a new ice cream parlor and burger joint and much to our luck it's just around the corner. It's always nice to have a lunch option your kids are excited to visit.

Anyah and Layla had chicken strips and fries. My mom and I tried the cheeseburger. The food was good, nothing too special but the chocolate ice cream was yummy... See...

By far the star of the afternoon was the family size order of garlic fries... Yum.

You know how much I love local small eateries so we know we'll be back soon.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Because One of These Things...

2011-04-06T04:35:00.001-07:00

Is not like the other, yes one of these things, just isn't the same.

Passive baby...

and not so passive baby...

Well I think we all know who's going to be making and changing the rules in every game the play for the rest of their loves.

Our Adventure

2011-04-06T02:43:00.001-07:00

The girls have been sick and with all the moving going on we needed a little change so today we took a long walk which entailed finding a baseball game to cheer at, picnic dinner at the park, saying goodbye to the old house and making new friends by the swing-sets.

Tomorrow it's back to unpacking and fixing in prep for Anyah's birthday party... but I think today's adventure break was just what we needed to refuel our motivation.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

And We're Outta There

2011-04-02T20:56:00.000-07:00

The last u-haul moving truck of misc. belongings sits in the driveway. It's waiting for morning...mainly because the hubby needs a break and I don't blame him. Many many loads of belongings have been ported from one house to the other and anything bigger than a repurposed diaper box was toted by the hubby, most of the time solo and only this afternoon for a few hours with friends and volunteers from our old college church group. While the helpers were awesome and appreciated, Jon mostly moved alone the first day and the second morning. Then tonight we did a load solo and he just didn't have it in him and instead we decided to take a mini vacate until morning. I on the other hand have been a packing and unpacking fiend and while it takes much much longer to unpack with babies under foot... we're now own a family room, a girls room worthy of playing (until it gets repainted), a mommy/daddy room, and a guest room (affectionately called the Nannie room). The kitchen hutch needs to be assembled and the front living room and garage are both overflowing with things that need to be put in other rooms. Monday there will be a trip to clean the old place and I go back to work. Then Tuesday we'll meet with the manager for the final walk through and I can call the townhouse a place of my past. *thank you Jesus* I find myself wondering where all this stuff was in the old house because we now have almost 3 times more space and I can't for the life of me figure out where to put it. There will be posts about the new house once I have time and get some rooms set up, but I am sooo not there yet. I am just testing out the uverse wifi we just had installed and I promise I'll come write a new post later. Probably much later...

Phew 1 Year Already??

2011-03-25T09:44:00.000-07:00

We're almost at the home stretch. I am very much looking forward to not having a to do list longer than my grocery list.

I am also looking forward to Anyah's 1st Birthday Party, even more than I am looking forward to my own birthday, and I have finally gotten all the invites for her party in the mail and her little tiny wish list written up.

If anyone needs a copy of the wish list, just send me an email. <3

Boxes, Tubs and Bags

2011-03-24T09:29:00.000-07:00

The number of posts here was already a little skant and then I decided to move...so yeah... hang in there... April we'll try and get back on track with the 600 photos that need to go up on the girls site, the 11 recipes I have pictures of to post on FatGirlEats and the things that have gone unsaid here.

Next week will be really busy. I have a few normal work days then I'm off for my Birthday on Monday so we can go to dinner with George and Devon. I'll be packing most of next week with breaks for Jon's tux fitting for the Fish Wedding and for another birthday dinner so I can FINALLY meet Bryan and get to see my favorite Miss Jenny. Then we should get our keys on the first and the Uverse and Internet should be up on the other house on the 2nd so that by the 3rd when we go to the party at George's we'll be good and ready for a break from all that moving.

Also, Jon starts a new job position at a new location on Monday the 4th.

April of course is a busy month with Anyah's party on the 17th, Easter on the 24th and me participating in the March of Dime's Walk for Babies.

Speaking of which, please support the cause by donating towards my walk. You can click the link to make your super awesome donation.

Letter to Anyah at 11 Months Old

2011-03-23T13:04:00.000-07:00

My Little Ani-Bee,

Let me just start by saying I call you my Ani-Bee like a honey bee mainly because I call Layla my Layla-Bug like lady bug... but this month "ani-bee" couldn't be more accurate if I tried. You are all a-buzz with newness. Suddenly, repeating new words, mimicing songs, copying hand motions, making funny faces and walking...well... with one hand holding mommy's finger anyhow. At this point the only thing stopping you from walking is the fact that you crawl so dang fast you don't want to be slowed down by going upright for mobile transportation. I figure I've got a week, maybe two, before you change your mind.

It's already been almost a year. Eleven months seems like a long time sometimes but this year it just flew by. Perhaps because now Mommy has 2 kids and a night job and Daddy is all sorts of busy at home and work too... or perhaps... more likely... because you are such an easy baby that for the most part we don't have to focus on surviving the moment like some people with little babies do.

For the most part you sleep through the night now that daddy has insisted you have your own sleeping space (in the form of a small bed at the foot of Mommy's side of the bed) and we've all but phased out bottles. You're a great eater, have been since we stopped doing baby food months ago, but now you have 8 teeth so your options for dinner are expanding. We also put you on whole milk this month and upgraded you to the big car seat. And then, mommy cried, oh where has my baby gone???

You're a cuddler, an explorer and most of all a stuff taken out of it's placer. What that isn't a term? What else would you have me call someone who can empty every container in a room in the time it takes mommy to go to the restroom? You're sister calls you a swiper because you steal her stuff when she isn't looking.

What ever we call you... you're darn entertaining, a perfect fit for this family and a wonderful bit of competition and love for your big sister to deal with.

You make me laugh, you make me sigh and just 3 minutes ago you made me swear like a sailor... but always you make me love you, and you don't even have to try...

Almost a year and yet it feels like you've been here forever.

Love,

Mommy

The Battle With Stuff

2011-03-09T16:04:00.000-08:00

Oh the stuff, it is everywhere. Much to my dismay it must be reconciled, packed and/or purged. Let me tell you, I am beginning to hate "stuff". Just the word "stuff" is starting to bug me "stuuu uuffff", yuck.

Today I went through baby clothes and toddler toys. I'm less than half way through both and I am hot and tired.

24 days left...

Lord help me.

How did we get all this stuff in such a tiny place?

Lynn's cousin Bonnie took an entire truck load of baby stuff. A WHOLE truck, when did that happen??

Despite gifting an entire truck of equipment and several small bags of baby clothes to two seperate families, the girls are not wanting. An entire little bed room filled to the brim plus piles of abandoned toys in every room. Nope, no shortage of stuff here.

It's not just them though, someone promise me the next time you see me holding a service dish that you'll have a STu -Uff stopping intervention.

Moving on Up

2011-03-02T08:32:00.000-08:00

This would be a bullet point blog with lots of randomness stuck in it but I haven't figured out how to do bullet points on my phone so we'll see what happens. It might just be a whole lot of random...

Next Sunday I am getting Baptised. Baptism requires a bathing suit so I went and got one. It's 2 sizes smaller than the last one that I bought. Despite this fact my confidence took a huge blow because I still look like a giant stuffed sausage. Good thing this suit will be under my clothing, otherwise the "sausage saved by Jesus" look better become cool quickly.

Getting ready to move to me means "HELLO CRAP PURGING". So, I have packed exactly 1 closet but I have a full load of baby stuff headed off in 2 different directions and a box of baby clothing for the girl at work who takes Anyah's old stuff. Next up will be the great toy purge of 2011 and Jon will be painting bunk beds once we get our garage back from the pile of baby junk on it's way out. One.Room.At.A.Time. Right?

The week we move starts with a my co-worker's Annual picnic, then my birthday, dinner with friends (twice) and then the big MOVE and it ends with Wrestlemania at a friends house (mmm appetizers and inappropriate mocking). Then I work a week and have a weekend off which I am hoping involves a lot of time in my pajamas.

The weekend after that is the Asparagus Festival in Stockton which I would LOVE to go to. It's also an Apologetics event at Monte Vista Chapel and most importantly... ANYAH'S BIRTHDAY PARTY (whoot whoot)!! I moved her party up a week from her birthday because her actual birthday is Good Friday and everyone will be booked Easter weekend.

Speaking of Easter weekend, if you have nothing to do, we'll be having some BBQ or Ham or something at our house around 11. The kids will wear cute things and hunt plastic eggs filled with candy and real eggs died unevenly in our new backyard. Fun times.

Somewhere in this mess I need to schedule Anyah's 1st birthday pictures and some sibling pictures that never happened at Christmas time. I also need to finally get some pictures up on the girls photo blog and I'd really like to invest a small amount of time into getting my first pedicure of the season so I can buy some cute saltwater sandals to sport about this summer. But, don't hold your breath because it's getting busy around here and I have important things to do like keep Anyah from crawling upstairs when I am not looking because Layla lets her through the baby gates.

Speaking of which, gotta go, the play time in my living room is headed upstairs without me.

To Anyah @ 10 Months Old

2011-02-22T19:50:00.000-08:00

Oh Ani,

This may very well be a short letter. It's not my fault. You're suddenly into everything. Your cruising along the furniture and grabbing things off places you never even tried to reach before. You love to swipe unattended cupcakes or juice boxes and just this morning you dumped an entire bottle of water all over my carpet because it was fun. Good times.

You say a lot of one word phrases now. My favorite thing you say is "mom mom" but I am bias. You also do a tremendous job saying "ta da". You like to "ta da" whenever something unexpected happens. A few days ago you sneezed, then giggled, then yelled "ta da!".

You've become quite the little sister stalker. You follow Layla everywhere invading her tunnels, crashing the walls of her blanket forts and stealing pieces of her train track. You're not trying to make mischief but boy are you good at it. "No sister No Touch a Me!" is becoming a regular sentence in this house. Layla is willing to share with you, she just likes to be the one to choose what you get and you've got your own little opinions about that.

Your birthday is coming up. I've started planning and while I am excited about celebrating your first year of life I am also a little sad because I know you're probably my last baby and you're already so big. Now that your ears are pierced, you popped up 2 inches and your hair has gotten long enough for hair clippies I find myself wondering whatever happened to my sweet little baby.

Not that your not sweet. You're still a big cuddler and you love to snuggle up for naps or to co-sleep with us at night. You just take up more bed than you used to. Now I wake up to little legs sprawled across my tummy or a tiny arm flung over my face and I know the times they are a changing.

But, one thing will never change... you're a big part of all of our hearts. Your smile and crinkle nosed stink face crack me up and melt my heart every day and I am so glad I get to watch God slowly fill your cup with the remarkable things that make you who he has always invisioned you to be.

Love,
Mommy

Top 10 Reasons We're Counting Down to the New House

2011-02-21T15:01:00.000-08:00

5. The dishwasher here doesn't work so I wash all the dishes by hand (usually while Anyah screams "bup bup bup" (up) at my feet).

4. The oven doesn't maintain a constant temperature which renders my Mommy and Me cupcakes with Layla into a very very frustrating event.

3. Little kids need room to grow. Alternate wording: "please for the love of God go outside and play".

2. My living room is a toy store after a Black Friday sale. I can't wait until the room your stuff can be in is just down the hall.

1. Then at least we won't have to think about moving while WAITING any more.

Did I mention I have an anxiety disorder and no patience? Yeah... it's gonna be a long 40 ish days.

Bonuses That Weren't Extra

2011-02-19T15:16:00.000-08:00

My work gave out bonuses yesterday. I got half a bonus because I was out almost 6 months having Anyah. The economy is bad. The bonuses were much smaller than usual. I didn't have plans for a bonus being as I didn't know if we would be getting on.

My prayers are for the people I work with who were expecting a comparable bonus to the last 2 years and who instead got a small token of appreciation.

Times are tough. I am thankful I got anything. I am thankful I wasn't counting on it to feed my family because I know there might be some who were.

****

In other work related news, somehow I am being mandated to attend a confidential meeting next week on my day off during the day to serve as a "witness" regarding something that I want nothing to do with.

My bully is still an issue even when there shouldn't be an issue.

So much prayers in the work department would be much appreciated.

Aging +1

2011-02-18T07:53:00.000-08:00

I have a birthday coming up. I think I've finally reached that point in adult life where that means just about nothing to me. I took the week of my birthday off thinking Jon and I might get to go out and that we'd be moving later in the same week so I'd want the time. Then Nannie announced she was going on vacate so now my vacation is to watch my girls and I am ok with that.

Given that the kids will be here and the only person who ever watches them will not be. My birthday will probably be spent going out to dinner or lunch and then watching Deadwood on DVD. I'm ok with that too.

I'm also ok with the fact that as an adult my "wishlist" that became constant chatter from age 3 to age 30 has become irrelevant. Sure I'd love a trip to Old Navy or a pedicure and a trip to IKEA to get a kitchen table, but I'm sure that it's ok if that doesn't happen.

When did that happen? When did I get to the point that birthday's stopped being about cake, food, and presents. I mean really, now I'm willing to age for a free awesome meal and a chance to swap a few good stories.

Damn, I must be getting old.

Juggling

2011-02-17T07:59:00.000-08:00

Jon's back is out. I worked a lot last week. We're gonna move in less than 5o days. Furniture needs painted. Has anyone seen Layla's paint brush? The damn dishwasher is broken again. Why is the stove off? Look, I found that book I lost when I was pregnant. Don't pull on your sister. Don't put everything in your mouth. Oh no, she can reach the top of that all the sudden. Yes, pretend to be a dinosaur softer dear, someone is napping. I need a pepsi. Do we have time for an episode of NCIS? Another event to squeeze in before May, ok. What's that smell? I made dinner and only I ate it. Mommy needs a nap. Is that cheese in your hair? I don't care if Nannie would let you, Nannie isn't here. No that's your sister's give it back. Anyah needs picked up. Naptime again. Have we gotten the mail recently. I really do need to make that hair appointment. Birthday party decorations go in this box and Easter treats in this one. Don't eat playdough. Bathtime. Bedtime. No piano before 8 am. Stop pulling the pages out of that book. Work. WORK. work. Work. Clean up. Dishes. More laundry. Chocolate milk on demand. Sit on the step we don't pull on the baby. Stop screaming at your reflection in the glass silly baby.

and it continous without ceasing

the circus

.love & responsibility.

2011-02-14T07:43:00.000-08:00

I would love to say we spent Valentine's Day doing something romantic. Or perhaps to say that
we spent Valentine's Day surrounded by sweet treats, glued glitter trimmed hearts and craft paper, and tiny envelopes filled with cartoon decorated affirmations of love. But, the truth of the matter is... I hate the general concept of Valentine's Day. So in February I put up some decorations and the conversation hearts make an appearance but other than that it's a small box of chocolates for the toddler and a bag of red and pink M & M's for the hubby and we just let it pass like any other day. We say I love you. But, we say I love you daily, several times a day, without fail...and that to me is more special than a once a year candle lit dinner or some flowers that fade by months end.

Instead we focus our love on the day to day. We attach ourselves to the everyday. We teach our children that they are loved, and that every day is a good day to share love. And we enjoy some chocolates... because it's tradition and it's our responsibility to teach them the difference between the traditions that make us who we are and the ones that make a great excuse for extra fudge filling.

day.dreaming

2011-02-04T17:58:00.000-08:00

We've started talking about what we might like to do and how we might like to do it. Someday. Someday that far off day that may or may not find us where we expect it. But, our daydreaming does more than just keep us excited for the upcoming move, it fuels conversations with Layla who needs to be pumped before we take her out of the only house she remembers and stick her someplace new.

Your getting a new room.

Your new room will have a tall princess bed and a cave bed. (bunk beds)

Your new room will have all your toys and a place to read books with Mommy.

Your new room will have pretty new blankets and pillows.

Your new room is going to have a place for your train, your little piano and all your favorite things.

Oh, and by the way, you're gonna share it with your sister.

ah, yeah...

I'd say I'm sorry but we think it builds character, so despite having room to spread the girls out, we're gonna keep them nice and close together. At least for now.

Good times.

catching up the masses

2011-02-04T17:37:00.000-08:00

Oh my, oh my how time does fly.

So we're waiting to move. We've given notice. We went out and purchased a new TV stand for the family room and a yard sale set of bunk beds for the girls new room. I'm hoarding funds until after my birthday in hopes that somehow I can get a new kitchen table and chairs since ours is falling apart. I day dream about paint now, which makes me feel rather adult-like.

Anyah went from barely pulling herself up on a Monday to walking along the furniture like a wobbly little penquin the following Friday. Today, we got her ears pierced (she was SOOO good). I picked up two birthday gifts for her already and I plan on getting as much done for her birthday before April gets here as possible, since we'll likely be moving week 1 of April, her birthday party in week 2 and Easter in week 3.

Speaking of Easter, when you ask Layla what she wants she says "make up, a Dora Doll, a baseball bat/ball and a puppy for me". One of these things she will not be getting until at least her next birthday, as a hint, it barks. I purchased my Easter baskets and the bunny is ready with presents so we'll make sure he hops down to the candy store at the last minute and we'll be set.

I've been getting bullied at work. It sucks. I finally turned the person in and the day after they reprimanded her she went out on medical leave. The after effect is that I will not rotate to weekends off during my normal rotation month of February and will spend next week working 8 days straight again, but you know what... totally worth it to have my positive work environment back.

Jon and I actually went to dinner alone earlier this week. We went to BJ's again and I had another lovely pomegranite margarita. Yum Yum Yum.

Layla has this new thing where she always wants to be doing something. It's always painting, or play dough, or stickers, or crayons or my least favorite the construction paper and scissors which result in thousands of tiny pieces of paper everywhere. It's a creative overflow over here and I don't think my carpet can take much more of it. But, boy is she happy. Toddler zen can be reached by applying a Nirvana Trifecta of Children's TV programing, messy craft supplies and chocolate milk. This interest in sitting down to "do" something makes me think she might finally be ready for a little structured learning. So far our, fly by the seat of the pants approach has given us a child that knows all her letters, her numbers up to 20, her colors, her shapes and most of her animals...but it would be nice if she could write her name on a line instead of across a WHOLE 8x10 paper and I think there is something to be said for projects that involve glue and actually create something.

I have a well documented Pepsi addiction, this week is the Super Bowl which means that the nectar of the gods is on sale EVERYWHERE. Needless to say, there will be more than one grocery run this week. Nothing says addicted like a stockpile that looks like an Oregonian preparing the commune for the zombie apacolypse.

And if that blog post isn't random enough for you, I've got nothing left to give :)

Reclaiming My Calm

2011-01-27T16:10:00.000-08:00

This last couple days I have been a raving BITCH. I don't know why, it's just something that happened along the way. I'd blame stress but honestly, when is it not stressful? Um, Never. So Yeah, that's a crappy excuse. I was sick. Excuse # 2, also lame. I am tired, but who isn't. Excuse. Excuse. Excuse.

I need to reclaim my calm. I am starting by reclaiming our temporary place of residence from the crap that overflows within it. Today I found the living room floor, got rid of a lot of broken crayons, crumbs, broken toys and gnarled up flash cards. I also did lots of dishes by hand because the dish washer is still broken and a load of baby laundry. Tomorrow maybe after work I can tackle a little more kitchen/bathroom and my next two days off have KID ROOM written on them in big red sharpie marker.

Clutter damages my calm.

It's a closet OCD thing.

So if anyone needs me I'll be having some zen bleach time.

Caught in the Fact

2011-01-25T18:39:00.000-08:00

Okay, so last the fact sharing happened here in the land of the blog, we were looking for a rental, then there was a "big thing" and then we weren't looking for a rental. Today my sister-in-law called with a cup of overbrimming curiousity and I have to admit, it's not a HUGE deal it's just an awesome experience. So, let's not talk about it...

If the cute baby picture hasn't distracted you perhaps you need something with more personality?

No? Still want to know, huh?

Well... let's just say we'll soon be in Jon's childhood home. It will be a (hopefully) forever move. We're not talking about it much because it's a family thing and a business thing and we don't want to involve people who should have anything to do with it. But, that's where we are going (early Aprilish) and we're excited, and the kids are excited...

And really, that's the only fact that should matter to everyone else.

In My Heart's Home

2011-01-24T06:43:00.000-08:00

We go on road trips to the ocean, to the places where the trees are big, to places with history and folds around you while you walk down wooden plank sidewalks towards the train depot. We love to travel but every now and then we end up someplace where I am overwhelmed by the feeling that I could live there forever and be happy.

Arcata. South Lake Tahoe. Pinecrest.

It's always places with water and big trees. My heart's home has water and big trees.

Maybe someday I'll retire to someplace that makes me feel like soaring and sitting and reading a book all at the same time. Maybe...

His Plan Is Unique & Changing

2011-01-23T15:04:00.000-08:00

I prayed a lot the last few months. Not for the things that you normally pray for when you're moving either, it wasn't about finding a place but instead about finding patience, keeping an open mind and trying not to force my will on to God's will for me. That was my last month. I put back on 4 lbs stress eating, I ate my nails to the quick. It's been crazy, and the whole time it never felt quite right.

We're a unique family and what we were looking for in a home was just as unique as us. Plus being a family in constant evolution, we spent a lot of time changing and thusly, sometimes what we liked changed a little. And then we found what we thought we wanted only to find out it really wasn't what we needed.

Then God took over. And the big life changes... well they are falling all around us like snow, pure and beautiful snow that washes everything over in a clean crisp feeling.

And I'm admiring how far letting go can get a girl because it's never been something I was great at.

Prayers while we get ready for all things big and new would be greatly appreciated

To Anyah at 9 Months Old

2011-01-22T06:56:00.000-08:00

My Ani,

Oh Baby, Oh Baby, Look at you now! I had a hard time picking a picture for your letter this month. You're all smiles and cuddles and adventures in crawling and pulling yourself up in strange places with an ear to ear grin and I-just-couldn't-pick. So Layla climbed up in my lap to look at the pictures in the snow and she kept going to this picture and saying "mom look at my baby" and I thought...yep...look at my baby.

So you crawl, fast...and anywhere we set you down I might add. Bark at the park, no problem. Snow, not a moment's hesitation. Someone's floor, okie dokie. The store, a place we go to eat, anywhere your knees hit ground and *ta da* you're on the move.

A moment ago you pulled yourself up on my pajama legs and you were standing at my knees alternating between screaming "mom mom" and hitting me with a jingle toy Nannie gave you. I thought you might want something so I peeked around my laptop screen to see and you busted up laughing got down and crawled away. When you got about half way across the floor you turned around shot me your biggest smile and tried to signal me to come to you by opening and closing your hand upside down at me in a "come here" fashion. You're so cute when you want to play. I pretended to come get you and you squeeled and clapped.

Oh the things that you say all the sudden. MomMom (mom), LayLaLa (layla), DaDa (daddy), Ranana (banana), Crackah (cracker), Hey (hi), BYaBye (bye bye), Byyb (bite), NomNomNom (nom nom nom), gud (good), ahgon (all gone)... you talk clearer than Layla did at this age and you will talk on command (which she never did) but you refuse to say new words when prompted to try (which she was more than willing to do).

You like exploring, sausage and eggs, apple juice in your new sippy cup, blocks, putting things in your mouth, eating snow, dancing by popping up and down on your tushie, Club Butter Crackers, chasing Layla, stealing other people's stuff, co-sleeping, Kipper the dog and laughing when people tell you no.

You dislike peas, peaches, loud noises, the ball Papa got you for Christmas because it moves on it's own and you think it's gonna chase you, being stopped from going places you want to go, things that don't fit in your mouth, when everyone else goes to another room, interrupted naps and when Nannie's dog licks you.

You're the happiest baby I've ever met when left to your own devices you just crawl from place to place and check out the toys, steal an oreo sister stashed somewhere, watch a little Kipper, play some more... too cute. You have a walrus smile (you have two center bottom teeth and you are missing the two top center teeth but have the two that would be on each side of the center two) which people find ADORABLE. You have crazy hair and a wild little look in your eye when you see something you can swipe from Layla.

We love you to bits, baby and watching you grow up is proving to be just as entertaining as I imagined it would be before you got here.

Love,

Mommy

Here I Go Again

2011-01-20T05:39:00.001-08:00

When 2011 started I thought to myself "well if you can blog once a week that will be awesome" because I have 2 kids and I work nights now and blogging isn't as easy as it used to be. Which is a shame because I really really like it. So I started off the New Year with a mini-goal and on the 2nd week of January... I didn't blog. Hey I'm nothing if not willing to totally bend the rules on account of LIFE HAPPENING. There is so much to update I don't know where to start. So I guess I'll start with me falling down the stairs.

The other day Mom took Layla (but later in the morning) and I stayed home with Anyah after Jon went to work and I had worked a whole night. Anyah was being unpleasant because she was teething and no one had slept. I went downstairs to get a bottle and fell down the stairs. This is the 6th time I've fallen down our stairs due to uncontrollable vertigo.

Jon and I have been looking for a place to live and we thought we had found the perfect place and the landlord seemed to really like us and he was going to run our credit and get back to us that day. Three days later he called to get our birthdays because he needed them to run our credit. Two days after that I haven't heard anything, I left a message yesterday and he never called me back... I'm gonna take that as a no and start looking for another place today.

In addition to my perils with the stairs, Anyah has managed to make it up the first 6 steps twice this week. Stair gates here we come.

Speaking of Anyah she's talking up a storm now. She still says "lay la la" (layla), and "mom mom" (mama), and "by a bye" (bye bye), and "crackah" (cracker), and "hey" (hi) but now she also says "da da da" (daddy), "bYYYb" (bite), and "ra na na" (banana). She crawls as fast as you can walk and she started pulling herself up on furniture last week which resulted in her first forehead bruise and easter egg bump but it hasn't slowed her in the least. She actually clapped when she fell down before she cried... silly baby.

This pulling up business has Layla in complete distress. After all, our response to the baby swiping her stuff was to put it up higher and now the baby is getting up higher, oh the drama. She does like the game where Anyah chases her back and forth between the kitchen and the living room though. Layla is going through an absorbing vocabulary phase and every phrase from Kipper, Diego, Backyardigans, Mommy, Daddy, Nannie, PopPop or Dora the Explorer is open game. "Swiper no Swiping!" is heard here many times a day.

Christmas toys, craft projects, lost socks and things only carried 2 feet inside the living room door litter my downstairs. But, instead of acknowledging the mess like I should and trying to concur it, yesterday I sprung the idea of going to the snow on Jon and we packed the girls up and headed to Pinecrest. Both girls loved the snow (which will be it's own post eventually-maybe) and we went to Knight's Ferry to eat at a 50's Roadside Diner I love before heading home. Because sometimes waiting for the phone to ring and cleaning up yet another mess seems overwhelming and you just need a road trip. It was time well spent, we are road trip people and it did wonders for all of our dispositions.

So now... it's back to the messes, and the attempts to move, and working at the J.O.B. That normal every day stuff we do to get to the parts we really like, the time with the family where Daddy drove us up over the hills and everyone had fun while Mommy took too many pictures.

Love & Joy

2011-01-03T12:42:00.000-08:00

I'm trying to be better about not losing my patients but for being the love of my life and the joy of my existence these two little people that I would die for make me want to strangle them occassionally.

I'm just so tired of the mom voice and honestly I don't think any of us gain anything when I use it. So I'm just going to try to stop using it. It won't be easy and I'm going to slip up. But, after a Christmas with only love, joy and peace, I'm sort of feeling inspired to try.

New Year.New Start.

2011-01-02T12:31:00.000-08:00

One of the things that has happened to me (quite on accident I might add) is that I have lost some weight, about 45 lbs to be exact. (It was a little more but I do love some Christmas treats) So, now that I've lost a little weight I kind of want to get a little bit more active. It's not really that I want to lose more weight (although that might happen) it's moreso about not ending up 50 years old and trapped in a body that is bitter that I slummed it so long.

So while I don't make resolutions this is something I'm going to be talking about here this year because I'll need you to help hold me accountable. I am afterall, 30 years into a slumming it cycle and slumming it doesn't require any discipline or follow through which makes it nice and easy for me to stick with.

So Jan 1st @ 2 am... 215 lbs (gotta blessed Christmas treats, I was down to 206 for a minute there)... size 14 pants (tight)... size xl shirt. I'll let you know how we progress as we go along. Now, please excuse me while I hyperventilate about impending change and the fact that my exact size is now published on the internet.

Down with the Sickness

2010-12-28T13:32:00.000-08:00

Anyah is sick. Not an easy kind of sick either. With working nights there comes difficult moments occassionally, like that moment when you go off to work and leave your sick baby and your exhausted husband to stay up off and on all night and with 2 hours of sleep under your belt you make the best of an 8 hour work day in a place that's exactly where you wish you weren't even though it makes to since to wish to go home to the land of sickness and crying... yet you wish you were home, to hold her...

A Look Back On Christmas

2010-12-28T13:20:00.000-08:00

Red & Green dresses and toys that make noise...

Tutu's and adorable tights to match your adorable smile...

Two delicious meals with family...

Oh the joy of presents from Santa and watching bed heads dance about in excitement...

Christmas eve jammies start off with the promise that Santa is coming and with him he brings the anticipation of twinkling lights, trees covered with ornaments, candy canes, holiday jingles and yummy treats to it's much anticipated moment of truth...

It came.

It was beautiful.

It was our Christmas.

To Santa with Love

2010-12-25T05:58:00.000-08:00

Cookies on a plate and carrots for the reindeer. New Christmas jammies with little heads tucked snuggly into warm beds. Presents spilling out from under the tree and stockings toppled over from the weight of sweet suprises inside.

Bed head over french toast with sleepy eyes glazed over with the wonder of what Santa just brought. A celebration and story about a little baby who changed the way the world would love before nap time.

A month of to do lists that never got finished. Presents missing their bows because they got too close to tiny fingers. Christmas treats made with love and completely silly looking from the kind of help that keeps life interesting.

The smell of candles burning while the kids play. Cameras clicking. Lasagna bubbling in the oven and garlic bread smothered in butter. Christmas cake.

Too much goodness for one day. Which... I am going to go off and enjoy.

Wishing you and yours a wonderful Christmas filled with a million little love moments.

Letter to Anyah @ 8 Months Old

2010-12-23T11:38:00.000-08:00

My Anyah~Girlie,

If the last month was consistant in anything it was that you were in a constant state of change. You are such a beautiful big girl all the sudden and I love watching you learn and explore. Each little change you make sets you off on another adventure that leads you to yet another change, a never ending cycle of amazing discovery.

At the beginning of the month you started the army crawl which you have now mastered and can do as fast as most kids crawl on their hands and knees. You also, occassionally, take a few timid steps on your hands and knees. You can transition from laying to sitting and back on your own so you're all over the living room floor getting yourself into trouble and have successfully located every crumb of food off the floor for me.

In fact about a week ago your sister left a cupcake on her little white chair in the middle of the living room floor and much to both of our suprise you located the cupcake, took it off the chair and ate it. Yum.

You love to eat and to nap. You love to watch your sister and play with her. You love songs with clapping in them and the way your giraffe from the zoo feels when you chew on him. You have 4 teeth now. Four. Amazing. You use your four teeth like a rock star and love to eat anything we hand you (well except peas). You tip your head back and "nom nom nom" and I have started calling you my birdie girl because of the way you eat and the way you are always squeeking.

You're all personality and cuteness these days. You attempt to say "hi" when prompted letting out a loud "ha" sound and pumping your little hand open and closed. I thought you were going to make Mama your first word, your really close, you yell it instead of crying sometimes...but alas... you started yelling "laylaylaylaaaaaa" recently. So Layla gets the honor of being your first word. You like to yell at her when she is running around and it cracks me up.

You love the bath now that you aren't forced into the bath seat. I just sit you upright in the water and let you kick and splash with your sister until it's time to wash your hair. You also have a great appreciation for the Christmas tree and like to lay under it and talk to the lights while running pine needle covered branches between your toes. But nothing says Christmas adventure quite like your never ending quest to get bows off of the Christmas presents and ornaments off the tree. That tree of temptation could very well be the only reason you learned to crawl at all.

You like Kipper the Dog on the TV, Christmas rock music, stealing Layla's crayons and trying to eat them, graham crackers, the swings at the park, car rides, playing with people, rolling around on the big bed and toys...suddenly you're very into toys.

You dislike peas, cold water on your face, loud noises, strangers of the male gender and when Mommy leaves the room.

You're an easy baby with a big amount of love which you spill over on to people with a lopsided toothy grin and crazy hair. You make me laugh with your facial expressions and your constant bid for your big sisters attention.

How did we ever go so long without you?

Love,
Mommy

Unexactly

2010-12-15T14:57:00.000-08:00

The decorations are up, well most of them. The lights twinkle, well most of the time. The Christmas Village may or may not be covered with snow and or up side down at any given moment.

It's Christmas with kids done by people who like their kids.

It doesn't have to be perfect. Heck it doesn't HAVE to be anything. So take those ceramic figurines and act out a scene from Mickey's Christmas Carol or pull all the balls of the tiny tree on the kitchen table. Push boxes wrapped with bows around on the floor like a train, and put it back *almost* like it was...

only better...

better because it was enjoyed and that's what Christmas really is about.

Sprinkles, Now Available with iPhone Pictures

2010-12-14T13:33:00.000-08:00

Ok so it's a whole month of bullet point blogs, but it's December and I haven't abandoned my blog which is more than I can say for some of the blogs out there with tumble weeds and spider webs for goodness knows how long... I'm trying people. I'm trying.

Last night was a pretty crummy night at work which was then topped off by accidently running into a picture of JB when I least expected it leaving me so emotional that I came home with a box of donuts and promptly shoved 2 into my mouth (not at the same time though, that would be dangerous for my shirt)
To get Layla to nap today I may have promised we'd decorate sugar cookies when she got up, which means I need to get to baking some "almost homemade" goodness ASAP because I don't have any sugar cookies ready to decorate (On the behalf of working mom's nationwide I'd like to thank Pillsbury for this mother of the year moment *ahem*)
Anyah is crawling around trying to pull things off the tree *strike that* she has a glitter snowflake now which is waving around in triumph.
At the parade, Nannie let Layla take pictures with her iPhone (how jealous is that little girl behind her-VERY) but what's more fun then a picture from my iPhone of Layla taking a picture of me with Mom's iPhone
Layla loves Christmas cards and rearranges the wall I have them taped to at least once a day.
Anyah says something that sounds a lot like "ma ma"... I am hoping this is going to turn out to be "ma ma" because MAMA wants to be a first word this time.
Jon downloaded more Christmas music off iTunes and put it in my phone for me to listen to at work tonight. While I know iTunes is user friendly I find the husband downloading App to be my favorite so far.
I am off and running for the HOLIDAY SWOOP. What you don't have a swoop? Well that's when you have nothing really all December despite asking people to book things earlier in the month if possible then you get to the 16th and you have something biggish every day until the 26th when you fall with a swoop on to the couch and glare at your holiday decorations in exhaustion.
Hey, guess what? Turns out the Christmas party at work is formal-ish. Lucky me, guess who gets to buy a dress before Friday. *sigh*
Anyah has discovered her inner diva whine. Oh.My.God.Make.It.Stop.Puh-Leease...
Layla is in love with Christmas. It's giving me a new fond appreciation for Christmas lights and Silly Songs. My new favorite song "two turtle ducks and a share cake in a bear tree"...so what if she doesn't know the words...her version is much more entertaining.

And on that note... I bid you farewell until I find more bullet points... I seem to have run out. Perhaps they are with the sprinkles.

The Presents Were Wrapped (again)

2010-12-11T09:34:00.000-08:00

Oh to be done Christmas shopping, but this year it just seems to linger longer and longer into December. It's been a long month. A VERY VERY long month. It's half way done and I feel like I've done it twice. Some parts of it I have done twice (or more).

I've had to re-wrap a few things. I keep putting the same ornaments on the bottom of the tree over and over again. I swear I've done these dishes already. Didn't I just pay rent.

Longest.Month.Ever.

And not necessarily in a bad way. I'm actually enjoying Christmas this year. Layla into the magical season finally and Anyah loves the music and the lights. My pants are all tight from the high amount of yummy treats I'm enjoying. I may or may not be singing Christmas Carols in the shower and going out of my way on the way to work to see the bitchin' lights displays around town.

Perhaps it's the anticipation of the look on Layla's face Christmas morning or the last few hold outs I'm still waiting for replies from in order to make my holiday calendar all tied up with a little red bow. It just seems like a lot of waiting...and suddenly I'm 5 again...and that advent chain seems so dang long.

Family Traditions- Christmas Lights Parade

2010-12-10T09:22:00.000-08:00

We live in a small-ish town. Our small-ish town remembers when it was a small town and still has it's fair share of downtown events. I love downtown events. I love them almost as much as I love cake. They make me feel all warm and fuzzy (events, not cake).

One of the traditions we really love is the Downtown Turlock Lights Parade. Jon used to march in the Christmas parade when he was in highschool. I always attended the parade with family and I seem to recall being in a parade or two myself. (Debra Morgan dancers- this shout out is for you).

Anyhow, we like a parade covered in lights. We like Christmas. We dislike crowds but not enough to dislike this event.

We got GREAT seats this year. Also, because the rain was coming it wasn't too cold. The rain started to trickle just as we went back to the car which was perfect because it meant Layla wanted to get into the car.

The parades here are long, loud and have a huge variety of random. It's always a good time and I'm glad we went and that we stayed all the way until Layla waved at Santa at the very end.

Eventually more pictures of this event will be available on the girls blog as I didn't take pictures of the parade really, only my kids. Priorities, yo.

What?! You want more sprinkles?

2010-12-09T08:42:00.000-08:00

On the night of the Christmas Parade we had my mom come early so that Jon and I could borrow her SUV and run to get a tree. Layla FREAKED OUT when Jon tried to leave the house without her. So...she got to go to "the Christmas Tree store" with us. We had no trouble picking a tree quickly. Then we brought it home, tossed it in the garage and went to the parade. That night while I was at work and the kids were in bed Jon got it into a stand and into the living room. The next day we sent Layla to my mom's and put Anyah down for a nap and Jon decorated the tree. Good times.
Jon went to South Carolina. Then Jon came back. Now randomly Layla will decide she has to lose her shit when he is gone for too long. Like last night when he went to work. "oh no Daddy missing" became her battle cry and if I had another car we would have went to Daddy's work to say hi...because it was that bad.
We got NetFlicks on Demand, I think I mentioned that. Layla and Anyah love the variety of new stuff. We have now been introduced to Angelina Ballerina and Thomas the Train. As adults, Jon and I are less thrilled, but I did manage to get some things done this morning with Thomas playing on loop.
Yesterday Layla and I made cupcakes that are both high in sugar and food coloring. They taste like sugar. Layla loves this but it mostly makes me want to brush my tongue with something. Ewww.
I got invited to a Christmas party. I know? Right? That never happens to me... I am pretty excited.
Anyah took her nap this morning with Daddy who desperately needed to sleep in. I can hear her up there talking to him and I am sure she is petting his facial hair and that any minute now they will come downstairs.
Layla may or may not have had scrambled eggs, bacon and a cupcake for breakfast. She's cute. I caved.
Yesterday Layla left a cupcake on one of her little chairs in the middle of the living room. Anyah discovered the cupcake and worshiped it by spreading it all over herself, making happy noises and nom nom noming it to bits all over the carpet. First cupcake smashing ninja success.
Right now my iPhone is syncing for the first time since October. Needless to say it's taking awhile. I really need to get better about that.
Speaking about things I am behind on, I have this weekend off. I am hoping this means I will finally catch up on the 2 months worth of pictures I need to post on the girls website.
Christmas Tree Lane is calling me with it's flashing lights, animated wooden cut outs and pop up inflatables... if only it would stop raining on the days I plan to go, that would be AWESOME.
It's raining by the way.
The white car is gone. We are down to one car. But, it's one car that works. We are also up one parking spot. Which is good considering we stopped parking the garage (with two kids to load/unload it's just too hard).
Jon brought home presents from SC. He brought Layla a little Delta plane like the one he flew home on. She is convinced it is a rocket. It just blasted off Anyah and landed on the piano. Anyah finds this game very amusing, except for the part where she can't touch the airplane for any reason.
Anyah crawls
Anyah has 3 teeth now
Layla can write her name, but only if she wants to
The Christmas bug is calling. Jon's mom still hasn't gotten me that fudge recipe. So I am about to go wing it (again) wish me luck.