A Bad Night Before A Day

Last night I found myself in bed with a head racing around with a multitude of thoughts about nothing in particular. After thirty minutes or so of head reeling fun I decided to head back downstairs to sit and pray in the dark cool room alone before trying to drift back to sleep.

When I came back to bed my husband was sprawled out in a much needed deep sleep snoring louder than the lion's den at the SF zoo probably sounds at night. Sigh. I creep into my spot and lay there listening to sonic snoring for about 2 hours until the baby coughs. I go check on the baby and come back to find I have no blankets of any kind. Well, I know I've done that to him before so it's my turn. I lay down and try to find my inner silence.

Snore. SNORE. Snore. At 1:43 am I went to the spare bed in the baby's room to try to find solice. Snore. snore.snore. OMG I can still hear it. So I get up and shut our bedroom door and the baby's bedroom door. Which of course wakes up the baby. The last time I looked at the clock before she went to sleep it was 2:30 am. She played with stuffed animals, my buttons, the pillow cases, her toes and eventually fell asleep with her left foot laying on my forehead, calf across my face and left thigh practically in my mouth.

I actually fell asleep like that. She of course woke up at 6 am her normal "early" time. (Wake up here ranges from 6-7:40) and I realize I am still exhausted so I let her play a bit in the bed until she literally crawls on top of me, opens my mouth, puts her face to my face and yells "UUUUU PPPPTTTT".... I hear ya kid we're getting up.

After a short pit stop where I drop her off on sleeping daddy so I can go pee we tumble downstairs to get her breakfast. I make and egg. She throws it on the floor. I give her a cereal bar. She puts it on the seat next to her. I make toast...she eats 3 bites. I give up and give her a bigger than normal AM bottle and park her in front of Johnny in the Sprites while I quickly drink enough Pepsi to get me to almost conscience.

She skipped all the important naps in the morning. Wouldn't eat and took great joy in getting really close to me and screaming. Lovely day. When she finally goes down for a nap my girlfriend in WA reminds me I should take a nap too... somewhere between going pee and throwing away my soda can I get distracted by the dishes, overflowing kitchen counter and dirty floor. I clean instead.

Next thing I know I've auto piloted to the second nap which Daddy puts her down for and now I've got so much pepsi in me I can't sleep so I send the hubby out for the first adult meal of the day at 2 pm.

Nap bleeds into snack time, which rolls over into a cookie bribery to buy me 3 more minutes of quiet, and then some backyardigans while Daddy gets ready for work and her bath which by the way is the only time she was truly a pleasure to deal with all day. After that she hated her Pjs so I had to change them and then when Daddy left for work she cried on the floor for 11 minutes... not that I was counting.

Bedtime bottle seemed to take forever and she was in bed 15 minutes before normal. Crying again. So I sat outside the door and sang L-O-V-E until she calmed down and laid down. Her head...hit pillow... and it was quiet... almost instantly.

So do I sleep? No, now I've got my third wind. So instead I'll blog and talk on the phone. But you better bet I'll have a shower and be in bed by 10 tonight. Mommy needs a time out.

New Townhouse Upstairs- Master Bedroom

This is the master bedroom. One half (this one) is the office...
And the other half is a bedroom...
There is also a full wall closet in this room and a door to the attic which we use for storage is like a whole additional giant closet.

New Townhouse Upstairs- Layla's Room

Welcome to the babies room... This is our book basket. I think books are very important so we have them everywhere... in the car, in the toybox, by the bed, and on the shelves... Her Grandma Teri made that cute stool which we'll be using when we start standing to brush our teeth. (The room came with butterflies on it (by the way))

This is Layla's corner with her crib in it (the book basket is behind the crib and beyond that a wall length closet). The rocking chair is the one my mother rocked me in and now I rock Layla in it sometimes. The blanket my dad had custom made for her. And yes... she is free standing in the crib with no hands and I do feel old.
This is the spare bed. We managed to get it into Layla's room. Behind it hangs her first feet/hand prints and a cross we got at her baby dedication. It's pretty cute. These are the stuffies that I've let her keep for now... there are already too many.
The other corner houses her bookshelf, her piggy bank collection, and some pictures of her cousins. (plus toys and a hamper)
The wall with her dresser and changing table on it is covered with colorful frames (right now with no pictures in them) but which will soon house family pictures once I retake them with the right people in the right position to fit in the frame.

And that's Layla's room. It's strategically placed so that as soon as she can walk we'll move her to the big spare bed, get rid of the crib and changing table and she'll have room to play. Good thinking no?

The New Townhouse- Upstairs

So I'm finally getting around to blogging about the rest of the house. For two reasons, first off... it's finally done, and secondly... my cousin in Germany asked for pictures so I'm feeling a little motivated.

This is the view from upstairs at the top of our landing....




This is the top of the stairs. The door goes to Layla's room.

Then there is the door to our room on the opposite side...

There is also a master bathroom upstairs...this is the door... I don't think you need pictures of that.

To LaylaBug @ 11 Months Old

My Daring Little LoveBug,

May I start by saying Holy F**k you are 11 months old. (Don't use that word until you're at least 13 ok?) Anyhow... I can't believe you're 11 months old. This week I found myself planning your 1st Birthday Bash and booking a reservation at the local park and I felt OLD and like I had missed so much time. But the truth of the matter is that I have been blessed. I have missed hardly any time with you this first year of your life. Less than 3 months you spent days with Daddy and Auntie Mel and the rest of it I was here.

I see every funny face you make. I understand every word you say (well almost). I know what you want. I understand you. It's like you are a part of me walking around and yet you are so completely you...independent of me. It's something I could never find words to explain and yet it is so blatantly clear in my heart.

I got to see your first smile, your first roll over, your first scoot (on your back I might add) and now that you're older I got to hear your first words, first sentences, first 12 teeth (yes I said you already have 12 teeth). I got to see your first 2 free and purposeful steps today. I got to watch you walk from the kitchen counter to the oven as I yelled no and you got to learn what the word HOT really means. But, I got to be here to kiss away your little tears and give you a bite of my cupcake and ease the pain by making rasberries on your bare tummy.

You are fearless so I was not suprised when this evening the hot oven was merely something to tempt fate with. After all, within minutes of living here you figured out how to climb up stairs and within the first day you decided sliding down them on your belly was a great solution for getting down. That gives me a heart attack so we let you do that while Daddy supervises.

Face first, is also the way you get off the couch, down from people holding you, off beds and high chairs and over most objects. You will strech, bend, climb and tumble without so much as a whimper and I fear that you will someday outsport any extreme adventure boy who dares to double dog dare you. You just have to figure out how to stop walking along furniture and then Mommy is going to need to watch you like a hawk.

You're also exceptionally verbal. You know at least 25 words (which you can say) about 15 of which you say so clearly I don't have to translate for you. You have great joy in telling me and others what you want and need and express great frustration if they stop doing what you want. But, you also love to be curious so when things aren't going how you expect you just toddle off to the next adventure.

You talk to Nana on the phone every single day. Usually you talk to her in the morning while she drives to work. Thanks to Nana you know all about the cell phone and it is not uncommon for you to pick mine up and hand it to me and say "nana" until I dial her for you. You say "hi nana" and you weave tall tales of baby gibberish and just like that you are done and you will hand her back to me and wonder away.

You love music. You dance along with the TV, silly songs we sing, the car stereo and even to things that aren't really music like the windchimes outside or kids dribbling a basketball outside the door. You really like Jack's Big Music Show on Noggin and will tap your feet or clap along with the songs. You also like Johnny and the Sprites on Disney and you dance when the sprites fly around.

You're a random sort of girl. You love dolls and your Abbey Caddabby, but you also love cars and blocks. You are very into Cars both the toys and the movie. You vroom a lot and wave them back and forth. You could be quite the little grease monkey some day as you're currently trying to figure out how exactly your play walk ride car works. Then the next minute you are all about pink socks, hair prettys and pretending to play with a stuffed pink carebear.

You also love adult foods, you eat everything but green beans regardless of how spicy, or different it might be. You can eat a whole egg, 2 sausages and half a pancake on a Saturday morning breakfast plate at Perkos. You eat horseradish with bites of mommy's steaks. You like chinese and mexican food. You'll even eat spicy italian sausage without any complications.

You are really into getting applause right now so you'll make the sound of an elephant, doggy, or you'll dance, or sometimes you'll wave or play peek a boo. It's amazing to watch you interact with other people. You love to make others laugh. Mommy taught you to do the "wax on, wax off" from Karate Kid when people ask you if you are fast like a ninja. I also taught you to stick out your tongue and stick your fist in the air when someone asks you if you are a rock star. That's how I entertain myself during the day... watching you dance, blow like an elephant and stick out your tongue on command.

In fact there are very few things about you that aren't full of joy and peace. You take naps easily, you sleep through the night in your own bed, you only fuss when your diaper is stinky (although now that you say STHINKTHY (stinky) I don't even have to deal with that much), you love the bath and the pool, you love other little kids, you love the grandparents you see often and some of the ones you don't see often, you love the car, you love the house, you love playing in the lawn, you love the park, the grocery store, and even the stroller.

You know what you don't like? It's a shorter list. Let's see... Green beans, cats, men with fuzzy beards (sorry Godfather George's Dad), hitting your head when you fall, Keith Urban music videos, mean kids, and um... let's see... being held down or not allowed to do what you want. But, if we say no you always stop doing things... so even that you're good about.

You're such a good baby... and soon you won't be a baby any more. But, you'll always be my baby. Or as I call you now that you're talking and almost walking... my baby big girl. I love you to the moon and stars and back again baby girl... and then some.

Love,

Mommy

Happy Birthday Hubby

Things I love about my hubby on his birthday....

1. I love the way he can light up the room when he laughs.

2. I love the way my daughter yells at the baby gate for him to come home because he loves her so well.

3. I love the way he loves me when I'd much rather be an unlovable grump.

4. I love his competitive nature.

5. I love how honestly calm he can be.

6. I love how if I had to list everything I love about him I would have to pay for more blog space.

Happy birthday Big Daddy Jon!

A Dang Good Guy

This morning without prompting my husband decided to get up when the baby got up and let me sleep in. Downstairs I could hear the breakfast and morning giggles as I tried to slip back to sleep.

Turns out if you get up at 7 am for 10 months with your daughter you will not be able to sleep past 7:45 no matter how much you tease your husband about needing sleep.

My darn good husband kept her entertained while I tried the sleeping thing, while I leisurely checked my emails, while I took a long HOT shower (with the showerhead from hell) and even agreed to go with me to the party supply store and to get the baby a Halloween costume at the consignment baby store before all the good ones run out.

So now we have table clothes, plates and napkins, a tiara, a banner and even some favor bags. We also own a ladybug costume that just needs a set of antenna, some new baby brown cargo pants and a few baby tshirts. I feel much more caught up now that I'm actually working on things over a month out like I used to thanks to my husband being a dang good guy.

Upron Strings

I find it crammed into a shelf at the local Target and I don't even look at the price tag. It is pink and white gingham print with white ribbon ties and I am instantly transported back to the age of 5 when I put on the blue and white apron in Grandma Gerty's kitchen to help someone make something they could have made faster, easier and cleaner without me. Layla must have it.

At the check out counter I learn it was from the dollar bin. It cost more than the hand me down relic that I learned to cook in. But, it is priceless.

I pull it out of the bag sitting in my livingroom and show it to my daughter. In a few months I tell her, she will get to wear this apron and learn to stir things for Christmas cookies. She lurches it from my hand and spins it around in the air.

She doesn't understand. She probably won't understand until she is a grown woman one day and she passes a tiny apron in a store and instantly it is a priceless chance to duplicate a memory.

Post Bash Update

We went to dinner and shared a few laugh filled stories, then to bowl in wacky looking shoes while mocking each other, and when we were done their could have been stories to tell... but I'm not telling them...

Morning found us tired and happy. I spent my morning going to breakfast with the baby and family and letting the soon to be birthday boy sleep in. Then I ran an errand and vegged out watching the Food Network. I had a surprise visit with a sister in law who was dropping something off and the kids played awhile. I made a brocolli salad and the baby covered the kitchen floor with toys from her cabinet.

My house is covered with a thin layer of curly straws, wooden blocks, dirty socks and used towels. My tummy is full. Through the baby monitor I can hear Canon in D from the nursery where someone tired finally lost the battle against having a second nap today.

The boys are off having therapy. Shooting things, talking crap, talking non-crap... And I'm off to my personal solice... the kitchen... to discover a new part of me something that involves chipolte peppers I think...

Wow... Is it Friday already?

I feel like this week blew by in a blur. Charter had to come 5 times to fix the cable at our new townhouse but it appears to finally be working correctly and consistantly. All that waiting for Charter between baby meals, baby baths and baby mischief made for a wickedly tired week.

Tonight we'll be celebrating Jon's birthday with a group of friends. We're going out for steaks and possibly a couple games of pool and some beer. My daughter will be staying with Nana Lorrie so I can enjoy myself without worrying about bedtime and baths being missed.

It's the start of the 2nd birthday season around here. Cousin Faith's & my Godson Pheonix's birthdays just past and this week is Jon's and little cousin Marliegh turns the big 1-0! Then September holds a step-in-laws, my mother, Layla, Melissa, Collin, and of course Miss Layla with the first week of October being GodFather George, and Cousin Nevaeh's birthday as well. I think I'll invest in Hallmark soon.

Did I mention that my second anniversary is coming up too?? No, I think I skipped that. I'm thinking about a day at the beach with the hubby and the baby so we can take her to the sand/surf for the first time and we can get out of the house. I think we'll try for a mid-week trip depending on when Jon's days off are so that we don't have to fight the crowds in Monterey or Capitola. Or maybe we'll go to Santa Cruz....

Who's got a good travel recommendation??

Find Joy in the Little Things

I came that you may have and enjoy life and have it in abundance,until it overflows. - John 10:10

He will fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy. - Job 8:21

The New Livingroom & Downstairs

This is that same little window from the other side in the living room. The photos are Jon's siblings and their kids. The DVD and CD rack are behind the couch to deter the child from emptying them on the floor. The empty wall above the DVD rack is a space saved for Layla's 1 yr old pic.
This is the livingroom. The basket is Layla's toys which you can see she's already been into. The TV is on Jack's Big Music Show because I was doing this right after she woke up at 7 am. The pictures are Pirates of the Carribean prints we got in Disneyland last year...or the year before.
The "end table" is actually an antique sewing machine that's been in our family forever. (Look I did a load of whites...yay me!!)
This is the side of the stair well. The piano sits there and our wedding picture...oh and our cute kid is there. You can also see the entrance to the kitchen back behind Layla.

The New Kitchen & Dining Room

This is the kitchen, please excuse the lived in look, we actually live here.
This small bar window looks into the living room. The door to the left is a small half bathroom.
This is the Dining Room. The barstools on the right run along the kitchen counter. The door you're looking at goes to the back yard. Next to the high chair there are 2 doors (the garage and a pantry closet under the stairs)
This is my cookbook shelf now. Doesn't it look nice?

All moved in... pictures soon

I can’t find the baby’s toothbrush, the shower curtain sucks and the stairs are quite a workout on the arse but we’re all moved in.

It took several days, lots of boxes, a few good friends and about 300 trips up or down a stair case while panting and holding something covered with dust and slightly larger than my arm span but we’ve done it.
I must give incredible thanks to my husband who probably topped my 300 trips up the stairs and 30 trips in the car back and forth in a car filled with stuff three fold. Jon slaved in over 100 degree heat, mostly by himself for several days even when 2 of them involved getting up at 3 am and then moving stuff until at least 10 pm. I owe him.

We’re not all decorated, put away and cleaned up but I’m getting closer by the hour, baby permitting. We were blessed in that my mom was willing to take a no pay day at work to play Nana Distraction while we moved copious amounts of crap. She also unpacked, made beds and made jokes when I really wanted to scream (and even more that one time I went to the garage and actually screamed)

The babies room is adorable. Her crib fit in great with the spare bed and the little butterflies already on the wall. Once I get everything hung up in there I will post pictures.

Our room took a little more plugged in capacity, squeezing our bed, the office desk and the bookshelf into one space and suddenly sharing a closet but we managed smashingly and even have some extra floor.

I put my dresser in the hallway using it fill a strange void and to store my clothing was a handy alternative to bumping into it every day at the foot of the bed.
Downstairs the living room fit wonderfully into the space we had, we even got to the put the piano someplace were it looks nice. And as for the dining room, we might even ACTUALLY dine in there now that the table and high chair fit so nicely.
My kitchen was the first thing unpacked and yet it still feels not like my kitchen. Perhaps it’s because I haven’t fired up a burner yet and gotten my sauté on. But don’t you worry, more recipes will be up on FatGirlEats now that I can cook without worrying about where the baby is all the time.

Between the attic storage, the garage and the Harry Potter cupboard under the stairs we’ve got plently of storage with room to spare and even more impressive, room for my car in the garage. Yay Us!

And we did most of it with a smile on our faces. There is something to be said for that.

Old Post- Living Inbetween

I wrote this also, while we didn't have cable internet...

Day 1 before move actually was more like day 3 of moving. We got our keys early and by the night before our actual move the only things remaining in our house was our bedroom, the big items of furniture that required a moving truck and my family.

My daughter didn’t take it too well. Playing all day in a house with your toys in them that doesn’t look like the house you’ve always lived in and then going back to what should feel like home but doesn’t have anything in it but you’re mommy and a crib that look familiar was by far a stressful toddler event.

By Thursday she was clearly distraught, not sleeping well, not eating well and not digesting well. So Friday morning, the day of the big move we made a few trips with short naps in her crib between them and the first thing Daddy moved the next day was her bed. I did my best to set it up just like it had been at home and she drifted off to sleep without too much hassle.

The safety of knowing mommy, her toys and her food was downstairs instantly removing most of her concerns and replacing them with a morbid curiosity about the stair case, oven and garage door. Remarkably she can climb stairs already and we’ll start working on supervised down-stairs climbs now that we’re all moved in. Until the baby gate helps me to sleep at night (or to do dishes without having an anxiety attack)

Seems she comfortable with anywhere as long as that somewhere doesn’t involve living inbetween.

Why I Hate Charter w/ Update

So when I didn't have internet I wrote this...

I called around the 9th of August to make arrangements to move my cable service to our new house. Cable was set to be turned off on the 15th at one house and turned on that same day at the new house (with the cable phone service turned on the following Monday).

Imagine my surprise when on Wednesday I arrived home to find my cable service off. I decided I must have missed a bill or something and called the customer service number only to find that I was not past due but instead someone had made a typo during my phone request so the service had been disconnected at the street. Turning it back on would take a service order in 3-5 days so I just confirmed my appointment at the new place and decided to suck it up with no internet, cable, or telephone.

The 15th rolled around and we had the TV and computer all set up to wait for the Charter rep to arrive. 12-4 was my service window so at 4:30 I called to see where the rep was and was told he had to tried to call me he was running late and would be there in 55 minutes (random time?) I confirmed they had the right address and the right telephone number and resumed my role of waiting for the service rep.

At 5:45 I called again this time I was told the rep had tried to come twice and we weren’t home (we’d been there/3 of us since 11 am) and that I couldn’t get him to come back the same day so I spoke to a supervisor (in not a nice way) and explained to him that for a person to come to my place he would have HAD to drive past it to get back out and not only would we have seen him and stopped him but he couldn’t have missed the number on the house because it’s white on black so he HAD to be lying.

I was then told no more reps were working (after being told they work until 8 pm and not to worry about it the first time I called) and that a new service appointment was being set for me on Tuesday. (Two days after we wanted to watch a pay per view and almost a week after our internet service went off rendering me blogless, emailless and without the ability to job search)
I went a little crazy on the phone and better yet I hatched a plan.

Monday morning 8 am will find me standing outside the cable office locally waiting for the first supervisor I can find.

God have mercy on his soul.

** Update**

Turns out Charter didn't open until 8:30 but I was there when they did. I talked to the girl at the counter about why I wanted to speak to a manager (I could see the two managers watching us on a screen in an office which was funny) and when I was done she got me a manager pretty quickly.

While one manager talked to me (telling the whole story again from the notes I brought with me) the other one went to the dispatch area and I heard yelling start. Apparently it's not ok to lie to a customer. Go figure.

I was assured that between 3-5 pm on Monday not only would my phone service (for which I had an appointment) be set up but also my cable and internet. He got here at 4:45... I was almost ready to fume again. But this time I knew what I was going to do if he didn't show up. You see now I have the local direct number, the managers cell number, a $40 credit and free DVR for a month.

But, more importantly... now we have cable!

I only yelled a little

We have internet! Praise Jesus and pass the popcorn. I'll post the whole story tonight and some Laylabug pics but for now I'm going to go stare blankly at the TV.

Love Ya Bye!

No Internet No Worries

Just so everyone knows, our cable internet service was messed up by the company that takes care of it. Because of a typo and a bad service representative we've not had service for 5 days with another 2 days left before there MIGHT be service.

We are alive. We are moved. I will be posting lots of pre-written blogs soon.

As for now I'm borrowing internet service for 10 minutes to check my job related emails so I have to go.

Sorry and I'll be back soon!

Two Days & Counting

Today I'll be picking up the keys to the new place. No one can find the mailbox key so I can't forward our mail yet but other than that there haven't been any real hitches. My mom (Nana Lorrie) is coming Friday to help us move the big stuff (she's renting a trailer and bringing her husbands suburban). Until then, we'll be fixing a few things up, cleaning a little and moving some small stuff while the air conditioner is on to cool things down for Friday.

Layla is starting to get anxious. She doesn't know what all these piles of boxes mean and so she spends a lot of time crawling around looking at them trying to figure them out.

There will be a few days without a home phone number, so if you're trying to reach us call our cells.

There will also be a few days with minimal blogging due to having to move the desk.

Day 3- Anything but Packing

Today I would have been packing but my good friend has been down visiting from Washington for a month and this is her last week. She'll be leaving back towards Washington on Friday when we're moving everything we own. Layla is in love with her son and I think she will be heartbroken and I will understand because I will be heartbroken as well, it's been nice having a friend like this one so close to home for awhile. I'm not-so-secretly hoping she's planning on moving back home. But, she's probably not doing that soon so I'm keeping my hopes nice and luke warm.

So today instead of a day with my boxes and tape I drove to the town I grew up in, picked her up and brought her back to Turlock where we ate lunch, watched the kids play and talked about everything from "getting crazy with the cheez whiz" to highschool to both our latest family drama. She got to know my hubby better which was awesome and I got to tease my God son.

It was a great day.

Party Like a Phoenix

This is my Godchild. Isn't he cute. He had a birthday party on Saturday and we spent most of the day in the sun surrounded by little pirate decorations and small children. Oh lord let me tell you some of the small children were adorable but one of them I wanted to smother to death while his mother wasn't looking. I think that should be a seperate post though. So instead I will tell you that there was pool splashing enough to drench my jeans all the way through, that the cake cracked into multiple pieces and still tasted good (which his mommy actually started to find funny by the end of our phone call last night) and that he (like every toddler before him) got so distracted by this toy (the first one he opened) that he couldn't open any more. Good times.

more pictures of this event will be available on Layla's site for those with permission to view it

Movin' On Up

(the view of our livingroom from upstairs... it keeps going past the bottom of this picture see below)
(Layla scoping out the downstairs...going into the kitchen)

Today at 3:30 we met the landlady for our new Condo/Townhouse. She was a couple minutes late but it was no big deal because we knew she was coming from the bay area. When she arrived she said she needed to get the key from "Pam" the manager who lives next door. Pam wasn't home but she was supposed to be there. After 15-20 minutes of waiting the hubby ran home in the car to get Pam's cell number (which ironically none of us had with us) and then when he got back both the landlady and I tried to get ahold of her for another 30-45 minutes before the hubby who has been outside holding a hot baby for over an hour decides to try the door knob. You guessed it. Unlocked. We never did find the manager (while we were there anyhow) but we got inside and while the hubby measured everything making a little floor plan I wondered around with the landlady taking pictures (for deposit reasons) and giving up my lease and the rest of my deposit money.

Due to not being able to find the manager today she agreed that I can make arrangements on Wednesday to get my keys from the manager. That way if something goes wrong I'll have a day to get ahold of the landlady before the day I move. We ended up not leaving there until after 5:15 so we stopped by the TacoBell on the way home to get a Pepsi and a snack for the baby and then headed home to make ourselves dinner, talk about where furniture goes and come to grasp with the reality of moving.

It's official we move Friday! Yay Us!!

Day 4- Mtg the Landlord

Today is signing the new lease day. So far it looks like everything is totally perfect which of course puts my anxiety on edge while I wait for something to go wrong. This morning I packed the extra linens while the hubby packed up the office that I had never gotten to.

I also made peach cobbler to get some peaches out of the fridge used up and then enjoyed a good size chunk of it because I'm a stress eater. I also cleaned out our fridge which is a lot smaller of a job than it sounds like because I am not a pack rat in the kitchen.

Yesterday I only ended up going to one birthday party so last night after the baby was in bed I enjoyed a long phone call with a friend and cleaned up a little bit around the house while the hubby was at the second party. They just started too late for me now that I'm an old married woman or I would have went because it sounded like a fun idea.

I have a whole post in the works about my God sons little party. So there will be more on that later. I just have to upload pictures. Layla loved it so that was great! I loved my God son, his mom and his family so that was also great!

At 3:30 we'll meet the new landlord to sign paperwork then I'm hoping we can pick up some more boxes from a friend and we'll be home packing for the rest of the day. (Well packing, watching TV and talking about nothing)

I got an email the other day asking how come I stopped blogging about the "family situation" there will be more on that eventually but I don't have time for a long post at the minute (I know this might look long but I type fast and I don't have to think about it so it's taken about 4 minutes lol).

Day 5- A Picture To Hold You Over

This is being written the night before. So I really don't know what Day 5 will have

in store but I do know it will involve boxes, birthday cake and babies (all mentioned in the previous moving blog) and I also know I won't have time to write about it while it's happening. So here's a picture of Layla "moving" to hold you over.

The Kind of Grandparents

My mom and I had a conversation yesterday which boiled down to the statement (by her) that "the kind of grandparents you have determines the kind of grandparents you're going to be". The topic was wound around the fact that my mom is trying to be like her grandmother was or my grandmother was. You see my mom and I both had GREAT grandparents to look up to.

She's trying to be the type of grandma that's always around, always loving, always supportive and always active in the babies life. She's starting now, partially because she's part of the Laylabug fanclub and can't bare not to see my daughter for more than two weeks and partially because she knows that by doing that she's helping to produce a confident, independent and intellegent grandbaby. She's helping Jon and I make our daughter into someone who's cup runs over with love and support. I appreciate that.

I look back at a childhood where every day my grandparents (starting when I was an infant-clear until I was old enough to ask them not to) stopped by unannounced every day or at the most every 2-3 days. There was dinner at grandma's just as often as dinner at home. I had a room there were I had special treats grandma had always waiting for me like cartoon character sheets, fisher price pretend kitchens and eskimo sandwich bars in the freezer in the den. There were special trips to yogurt without grandma and special trips with grandma to town on Fridays to get donuts/her hair done/lunch with the girls/shopping. There was always someone playing a game with you...cards... waitress... talent show... barbies... house. Always.

It made me who I am today. Highly social, imaginative and able to share. I know it did. So does my mom. She had a grandmother who was no more than a bike ride away who let her hang out whenever she wanted and taught her things that she still does today.

They were grandmothers. Real honest to god grandparents who stepped in willingly to everything they thought they could get away with. They were something out of TV movies with sassy jokes, good food and endless amounts of old stories with hidden advice in them.

My mom used to be driven crazy by my grandmother until she remembered how focused my grandparents were on raising me with as much love as possible. Sometimes she had to put the squeeze on spoiling or going on trips but for the most part she knew that grandparents play a vital role in who you become. She knew because her grandmother played a vital role in who she became.

Now I look at other people's grandparent relationship that involved maybe an occassional baby sitting trip or dinner out or holiday and I wonder how different they would have been if there had been more. Not that it's bad to not be lucky enough to get what I got but more-so that I just wonder what I would have become without it.

And then I'm thankful. I'm thankful that one of my daughter's first words was Papa and she lights up when he plays with her. I'm thankful my mother talks non-sense on the phone at least 30 minutes a day with my daughter and that she pretends that the NANANA BBLLLRRPPPP LOYOVELOU DOGGIE DADA BUYBYE conversation is fascinating. I'm thankful great grandpa is showing my daughter the same love he showed me...down on the floor with the puzzles at 80 years old.

I'm thankful I know what kind of grandparent it's possible to be. I thankful I know I'll make mistakes but that at the time the kids won't notice even when I do. I'm thankful I know all the words to the Tomorrow/Jesus Loves Me/ Me & My Shadow, the rules to chinese checkers, how to frost a sugar cookie, how to cheat playing blitz, where to put the blow up pool in the yard to keep the water just right and still be able to reach a cherry, how to make a pie crust from scratch, how to use my imagination to get through the quiet times and how to read quietly when everyone else was doing something adult. I'm thankful for the advise, love and sometimes even the lectures (ok maybe not that one time I got told about stubble burn from my grandmother) and how to make a joke about "taking some home for grandpa later".

I'm thankful I'll never have to worry about being involved...because my kid will expect it because it's the kind of grandparents she has.

Day 6- Look mom no hands

Today was spent packing rubber maid tubs with scrapbooking supplies, books we never read and baby items she's too big for. The baby room is officially packed. The first room of it's kind. By the end of tonight, the office will also be officially packed (except the PC we're addicted and would die without email, blogger and myspace).

Jon matched up all the tubs to their lids so they are spread out across the great room floor, scattered amoungst them are toys that aren't being picked up, scraps of paper that floated in and a pretty good sized dust bunny. We're moving. The cleaning around here as gone to BARE minimum. Which pretty much means cleaning up spills, trash and dishes and leaving everything else for 7 days to collect dust and grime.

Tomorrow is filled with birthday parties. Fish will be turning 30 and my newest Godson will be turning toddler (technically his birthday isn't until the 19th so he's really not turning anything). So during the day I'll pack some and then I'll be off to the small town of Crowslanding for bar-b-que, BS and probably a little beer and baby talk. (talking about beer not drinking it...please for the love of god stop judging me lol). Then I'll be off to Fish's birthday party while Grandma Teri watches my lovely daughter sleep. Ok so she'll probably watch TV while the baby sleeps but still that's the general idea.

Sunday, we meet the new landlord to hand over our lease, deposit check (second half) and arrange to get our keys. The utilities are ready to change over, the cable service is officially signed up to be moved and the checking account feels like a big man in a little coat.

I love summer. Something about heat amplifies the family drama, moving drama, financial drama and the overwhelming desire to sleep in.

There is news of multiple kinds on the job front. Things are rolling around in my head like marbles in a shoe box.

And yet, tonight while my husband works, my child sleeps and I should be packing... I'll probably just be longingly surfing the internet trying to think about nothing.

Hey Look It's Food

Over at Fat Girl Eats there have been several posts this month including, Grilled Holiday Sandwich, Farmer's Scramble, Bacon Wrapped Stuffed Mushrooms, Tamale Pie, Quickie Alfredo Sauce and much much more.

So remember to hop over and check it out!

Seriously- Day 7 Just Vanished

Yesterday was a day of drama. Most of the drama wasn't mine. The part of it that was mine I'm choosing not to deal with so that I don't have to take a xanax and a nap today.

The parts of yesterday that were not drama involved going to the grocery store with a baby who got up at 5 am and was teething, talking on the phone with friends, visiting with my dad's girlfriend who came over so I could pack boxes but not packing said boxes because I was already tired and watching a baby eat spaghetti.

Last night I had a long talk with my husband. That happens here every couple weeks. It was long due. Then I went to bed at midnight. Next thing I knew it was Day 6 and I needed to be packing again...but I thought I better blog day 7 first.

It's like sleep walking with less skill

Tuesday night when I went to bed I found my daughter standing in the middle of her crib. She was completely asleep. Even more impressive she wasn't holding on to anything. I snuck out to tell Jon and then went back to try and figure out how to lay a sleeping child down without waking her because I didn't want her to fall and hit the crib walls. Of course, I woke her up. The result was a terrified child trying to figure out why I was making her stand in a crib with my face in her face at midnight. Poor thing. She recovered well and slept the rest of the night in my bed. Tossing and turning her way through a teething fever.

Last night, when I went to bed she woke up as soon as I got to the end of the hallway and was already pulling herself up on the front of the crib when I walked into the room. As a safety measure I decided to readministered tylenol and orajel and stick her in my bed. In the dark I reached over and touched her mouth to see if she had a pacifier before I moved her. When there was one in her mouth I leaned over and picked her up. Her arms both hung out straight from her sides like a wobbly king of the world and I laughed to see she was in fact holding 2 more pacifiers. With one in her mouth and one in each hand it became evident that she was already almost back asleep.

Half slit eyes glazed over with sleep and teething fever looked at me while she took her right hand and tried to put a pacifier in her mouth. tink. It hit the one already there. She moaned in confusion. Then she tried the one in her left hand. tink. It also wouldn't go in. She was so frustrated she growled so I pulled the one in her mouth out.

Still almost asleep she tried to jam both hands with pacifiers into her mouth at once. The resulting gnashing of teeth, lips and plastic was adorable to watch but lead to her pathetically crying while both pacifiers fell to the floor. So I put the one I had back in her mouth just as she tried to swan dive out of my hands to get the other two.

I gave her the two on the floor back and set her in my bed. With one in her mouth and one in each hand tucked into her belly she drifted back to sleep.

She's such a cute little sleep hoarder.

Day 8- My Hero Didn't Have Tights

Today Miss Courtney rescued me from a boxless plight of packing things inside other things by hand delivering me 13 rubbermaid tubs with lids. When I told her she was my hero she asked if she should wear her cape. I said only if she had tights because a cape with out tights is just foolishness. She forgot to throw her tights in her car this morning so I had to settle for a capeless avenger.

This morning my daughter woke up for the 3rd day with a mild fever from cutting teeth. She insisted on laying most of the night with her hot skin against my cold stomach. She did this by violently pushing my shirt up to my nipples and slamming her head into my squishy post c section tummy at 4 am in a pitch black room. It was a lovely parenting moment.

She took a lot of naps today, got a slightly chilled bath and got to drink more juice than normal with a little extra tylenol and orajel thrown in for good measure. By the time Jon got home I was exhausted. So I enjoyed my visit with the tightless wonder and then helped Jon with his resume so he could apply for a job he wants. After that I spent me evening on the phone.

Tomorrow I have the great joy of calling places to arrange to have my utilities moved and my cable turned on at the new house. I love being on hold. I love being on hold. I love being on hold. Yep, my mom was right...saying something over and over doesn't make it true. Damn it.

Mommy Needs a TIME OUT

Today was that day where every.little.thing drove me insane. Perhaps it was the 3 hours of sleep I got last night as my molar cutting daughter clung to me in a sweating, whiney panic all night or the fact that my face mysteriously broke out this morning. Maybe it was the couple of really weird phone calls I got or the fact that I had to talk to the landlord.

Whatever it was at least 3 times today I handed my husband a small child and walked away to be ALONE for a minute...then by 6 pm I was practically crawling on top of him because I didn't want to be ALONE anymore. Ahhh hormones... how I've missed thou my fickle friend.

Day 9 & Counting

I know you're all just dying to hear about the packing, cursing and oreo eating at our house. So this is you next installment in the life and times of the relluctantly relocating.

Today I gave verbal and written notice to our current landlord (who has always been an overcontrolling weirdo) and when I did she told me she was "sorry to lose us because we're such good tenants". I rebuttled with thanks but with the economy the way it is the rent here is too high and we just can't do it.

Then she asked me a bunch of questions about the inside of the house, when we'd be moving, the neighbors and my personal favorite... whether or not I'd ever been to the Jelly Belly Factory. I told you she's odd.

Then I came in the house and dropped an email to a potential employer and paid my cell phone bill. Exciting times of an unemployed adult I tell you. We're out of empty boxes so we'll be done packing for a day or two until Jon can meet up with a friend of ours who recently moved and steal all his old boxes.

Instead today I plan on baking cupcakes (because I can), taking a shower that's long enough to shave my legs (because Jon is home and I can) and going to the store to buy butter and AA batteries (because I can send my husband when I decide I'm too lazy to do it).

Today is also the day I plan to update my recipe blog, locate my lost favorite earrings and determine what food in refrigerator is really gross and needs to be thrown away. Can you anticipate the excitement in the air? Me either. Let's fake it until we make it... ok?

10 days

It is 10 days until I have to have everything packed up for the move. Today I attacked the things we don't NEED to use in our house. DVD's, CD's, bookshelves of dusty books, the crib my daughter refuses to sleep in (the one in her room not our room) and baby toys she no longer plays with.

I did this with a baby underfoot who was rather unhappy about being forced to play with her own toys instead of the roll of tape, scissors or sharpy marker.

This is going to be an interesting 10 days.

The Morning After

I've gotten a few calls and emails about the blog below. I think it's really important to blog about what you're feeling in the moment when you are feeling it. That's what makes me an honest blogger. I write what I need to write when I need to write it. After all, it is my blog...so it is all about me.

I love my mother in law very much but my feelings are hurt and I think she stepped out of her place a little by making assumptions. She has the right to be disappointed if I said something that offended her before, during or after that blog. She has the right to think that I could be different than I am. She just doesn't have the right to twist things to make her opinions feel valid.

That part... that's the part I'm not ok with. It's also why I'm glad she talked to Jon and not me. As stated before I'm sure I would have said things much worse than what this blog says in the heat of the moment. I am human. I feel things and then I am honest about them.

Here is what I do know... nobodies perfect and everybody makes mistakes. That's why I still love her...and it's probably why she'll still love me.

Good luck with that

Today my husband had a talk with his mother. The talk basically could be summed up as an ass chewing where she thought we were on the wrong spiritual path. I have been told this conversation was rooted in a couple assumptions she's made...

1. She does not see our spiritual journey. She told him we used to be "such good christians" and now she doesn't know. Part of this arguement was that I am currently "angry with God". And we haven't been doing a bible study or going to church that she knows of.

2. We curse to much and lead a non Christian lifestyle because we have events at our house where we or other people may occassionally become drunk.

Those were the big ones.

I'm pissed. Mainly I'm pissed because I think the worst thing about Christianity sometimes is the Christians who make things about what they need or want to see out of other Christians. Sometimes God needs a Christian with two arms covered in tattoos, or one that swears like a sailor or even one who has been ANGRY and is willing to admit it. You see I used to spend a lot of time doling out advise and passing judgement and one day in a prayer to God I was struck deeply by Mathew 6:5-6

Matthew 6:5-6: "And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men....when thou prayest, enter into thy closet and when thou has shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret...."

So I've been spending a lot of time praying for things in private (usually the shower if you must know) and not letting the opinions and judgements of others cloud my praying. I'm still talking to my pastor (when I need more help or research material), I'm still talking to my closest advisors (in fact I've even blogged about those conversations here lately) and I'm still reading Christian Materials (see links in sidebar for FaithLifts which is one of my favorites). Through the people I trust I have learned information that was very helpful to my struggles with going to church at the moment.

I don't think ANYONE has the right to tell me how to have a personal relationship with God. In fact when I first knew I was struggling with God my mother in law was one of the people I broke down crying in front of and instead of being like the friends who pointed out Psalm 22 to me she instead waited until later to bring another burden on to my husband and I by having me not only be angry with God but now also angry with my husbands mother in a time of high stress and emotion in our household.

For the record it is ok to be angry with God. I know because it's not the first time I've had real emotion with God and God appreciates my honesty and my love despite my anger. Just like right now how I love my mother in law even though I want to call her at 10 pm and rip her a new one. (If you want to read more on Anger with God Bible studies I recommend this link). You can be angry with God, you can be anything you are with God... because God needs you to want to be real with him.

So I'm not keeping a public tally for my mother-in-law. I don't call her at 11 pm when my best friend and I finish yet another spiritual discussion on the difference between the Christian and Catholic views of God's love and salvation. I don't call her up when I make a Christian offer to a person who needs my help or when I feel I've done something worthy of a God Gold Star. It's not my job.It's not her job either. If I did that, I might start doing it for her praises. And frankly, that doesn't interest me much.

I've also stopped having other people pray for me with reckless abandon. I've decided instead of requesting prayers like making a grocery list I would let others hearts lead them to what they should be praying about. Certain gifts I've seen in myself and others spiritually tell me that the right message will always find it's way to the right person.

So now that I've vented on that subject. Let's go on to the other one...

We've had 4 parties in our house since December. We attended 2 adult type parties not in our house. One we went to together and one Jon went to without me. I didn't drink at either out of those parties... Jon barely drank. He drove others home from one and we left after 1 beer at the other because we had a baby with us. As for the 4 in our house. I drank at 2. One of which I had 3 drinks at (Jon stayed sober it was my birthday) and the other one I had one drink at (Jon's turn to drink his cousin threw a party at our house).

We've also had the same friends over to the house multiple times a week or several times a month (depending on the friend) before and after that event. Usually, no one drinks. You of course wouldn't know that being as you are basing your opinion on the stories people bring home from parties and on the invites which I always put an adult drinking disclaimer in to be safe. I guess that means I'm an alcoholic...when I warn people that there will be liquor in case they don't want to bring their 2 year old.

I do curse a lot. I especially curse a lot when I am stressed out, don't have a job, need money, am angry with God, having health issues and don't feel especially like pretending to be something I'm not so that you won't have something to judge about me. I usually curse about judgmental Christian relatives (you recently made that list...congradulations), people who butt in without being informed (check and check) and things that have no reason to be cursed about ... because words only have power if you give them power... and it's always been part of who I am. I don't however curse in front of babies or small children unless I know their parents do. I am not, after all, going to be the one that explains the f bomb to your 4 year old using two barbie dolls and a water balloon.

My husband says today he yelled at his mother and kept correcting her misguided opinions. I'm jealous. I'm envious that he got it all off his chest to her face. But, I also know that if I got this off my chest to her face I'd also talk about how selfish and childish and judgmental some people are. I'd talk about how un-christian it is to miss a family event because of your wounded pride. I'd probably mention how inappropriate it is to judge a friend of the family by their myspace page or their morbid sense of humor. I'd talk about how it's not alright to not check in our your family when you want an update but instead of calling or stopping by just start forming little stories in your head.

Instead, I'm writing a LONG blog with the comments turned off. A blog about how I feel because that's what a blog is... it's my journal about how I feel. It's not about you. Just like my relationship with God, just like my friends, just like my hobbies, hopes, and dreams... it's not about you.

Next time you want to judge someone... look at yourself and ask... am I doing this for God? Or am I doing this because I want to feel involved.

Granted, there won't be a next time because I'm taking your living room off the safe places to talk about my spiritual journey and chalking it right up next to the crowded couch full of relatives I guess I don't need to ask for help when I am struggling.

There will be much packing & cursing

We're moving. Yea, you heard it here first, unless of course, you heard it somewhere else first.

The hubby and I took a good look at finances and priorities and those little things that keep you up worrying at night that you shouldn't have to worry about. We decided to be adults. We're taking a downgrade... to a townhouse. We'll be going from renting 1500 sq. ft. of tile and crazy landlord landscaping (really she just keeps getting weirder and weirder) to about 950 sq. ft. if I had to guess.

No more lawns we don't use and no more extra bedroom. But for the space we lost we'll gain over $500 a month in savings, the ability for me to be home more with Layla even if I get a job... oh and we'll be gaining a lot more quality family time (as there are less places to hide).

For the most part we're hesitantly excited. Torn between "dang I hate being an adult" and "woo hoo no more worrying every paycheck". I'm sure once we're there it will be a much easier adjustment to make. I can totally give up my own yard and walk to the park down the street if I know that means I won't spend lots of time writing lists of bills on pieces of paper and praying the numbers all add up.

Plus the smaller space, by freeing us up financially will also leave us with more money for road trips, day trips and vacations like we used to take. Layla will still have her own room, we're going to put a bed in it for visitors. We'll have a room, with a desk in it so the baby can't get to it. It's 1.5 baths so we won't have to hike upstairs to take a pit stop.

I think it's going to be something we're really glad we did.

But, of course, while we're moving we're so strapped it's not even funny. So to keep my mind off money and stress... I'll be packing, cursing at objects that don't wrap easily into a box and eating oreos until further notice.

Plan A= Beach Boys and Margaritas

Plan B= Beach Boys and Margaritas

You know a girlfriend is a good girlfriend when after planning for a month to go see the Beach Boys at the County Fair and have margaritas you end up with no 'good' sitter so you have to take the baby with you... and she says "of course she can go with us".

We spent 45 minutes looking for a parking spot, walking half a mile to and from the fair to where we actually parked. She got her margarita, I had a pepsi with ice. The baby LOVED the beach boys and was pleasant despite being up 3 hours past bedtime at the fair.

We saw 5 mullets worth noting. We also saw about 300 slutty women and 132 men with bad cologne on.

It was wonderful. (pictures up on Layla's site for the fortunate few who have access)