Recovery

Every childbirth has a recovery time. They are different for different people but I think everyone has two basic things they have to deal with...the physical recovery and the emotional one.

This time having a c-section I pretty much knew what to expect. I insisted they let me get up and walk in the first day (much earlier than a normal person would), I turned down pain meds and instead focused on learning what my body could and couldn't tolerate well. I followed my instincts...and that worked for me.

It worked so well that I was home in less than 48 hours. But, there are things I still struggle with and there is mild discomfort when I am being good and moderate pain (or worse) if I am being stubborn or bad. Most of my pain is a direct result of my emotional progress.

I feel great, so I want to be able to pick up my toddler, clean house and make dinner. Those ironically are the things that can still make me not feel great. Being as independent in nature as I am I have to constantly remind myself this is only week 2 and to take it slow.

I can't handle situations where Layla needs to be carried and is crying with no other solutions making themselves evident so today on Jon's first day back to work my emotions overran my logic more than once and I ended up toting a toddler. To say I feel not good would be a HUGE understatement. The sad part is it doesn't matter because I'd do the same thing in the same situation if it happens again tomorrow.

Because sometimes recovering physically hurts less then waiting for your emotions to cope with a toddler and baby who both need/want/deserve a full time & full service mommy.