I Wear You

Because my hands are full but not as full as my heart. I wear her. Because she feels me breath and she knows she is safe. I wear her. Because the day is long and tasks are many. I wear her. Because my eyes glance over her head at my older child running as fast as she can and I know that the confidence to be an individual who takes risks is born from knowing that someone is always willing to hold you if you fall. I wear her.

I wear her because I wore her sister. I wear her because for centuries we have carried them... on our sides, on our shoulders, in our arms, on our backs and in our hearts. I wear her because there is no path I could walk that hasn't been walked before me and the women who choose this path have also created beautiful little souls.

I wear her because I am a citizen of the world and I want my child to go out into it and experience it...safely.

I wear her because there is no safer place than Mommy. And, as I grow as a mother... my confidence in standing up next to those I am proud to call my own has grown.

So I wear her...

And I am not alone.

**If you are a babywearer, or you've ever been a babywearer, or you want to be a babywearer some day I highly recommend Adventures in Babywearing's Call to Action for Babywearing awareness**

Recovery

Every childbirth has a recovery time. They are different for different people but I think everyone has two basic things they have to deal with...the physical recovery and the emotional one.

This time having a c-section I pretty much knew what to expect. I insisted they let me get up and walk in the first day (much earlier than a normal person would), I turned down pain meds and instead focused on learning what my body could and couldn't tolerate well. I followed my instincts...and that worked for me.

It worked so well that I was home in less than 48 hours. But, there are things I still struggle with and there is mild discomfort when I am being good and moderate pain (or worse) if I am being stubborn or bad. Most of my pain is a direct result of my emotional progress.

I feel great, so I want to be able to pick up my toddler, clean house and make dinner. Those ironically are the things that can still make me not feel great. Being as independent in nature as I am I have to constantly remind myself this is only week 2 and to take it slow.

I can't handle situations where Layla needs to be carried and is crying with no other solutions making themselves evident so today on Jon's first day back to work my emotions overran my logic more than once and I ended up toting a toddler. To say I feel not good would be a HUGE understatement. The sad part is it doesn't matter because I'd do the same thing in the same situation if it happens again tomorrow.

Because sometimes recovering physically hurts less then waiting for your emotions to cope with a toddler and baby who both need/want/deserve a full time & full service mommy.

Birth Story Link

I finally finished Anyah's birth story and it published to the date that I originally started working on it so it can be found HERE

Anyah's Birth Story

One thing that always fascinates me is that people who have C-sections never really write down a birth story. But, there is always a story to any birth and this is Anyah's.

I had early preeclampsia and I went from having problems with just blurred vision to also having flashes of light so the Dr decided that I should start being monitored more closely and by 34 weeks gestation we were seeing her at least once a week. There were NST (stress tests) OB-NST (stress tests at the hospital complete with blood labs) and a few other tests that are were randomly poked through the experience.

On the day before Anyah was born I was sent to EMC (the local hospital) for an OB check and labs. They arranged for me to come back the next day so they could repeat the test and compare results and prescheduled an appointment with my OBGYN for the next day so I could go in and get checked before the weekend. It was a precaution we thought. We were buying ourselves another week so that we could get from 37 weeks to 38 weeks...closer to full term but still before May 6th (39 weeks) when I had originally been scheduled for a C-section.

The first test went well and the second test was also going well but given my history with Layla (Anyah's big sister) being born after Preeclampsia due to my liver trying to fail and her spending time in NICU with her own complications the OBGYN decided that since we knew Anyah was fully developed (we'd already tested for that) we should just go ahead and deliver her early.

So we're sitting in an OB check room at the hospital totally prepared to go home and get up the next day and go see the Dr who we assume will schedule a c-section some time the next week and we're talking about what to pick up on the way home for dinner and about how at least we'll be home in time to put Layla to bed. Mainly, Jon and I were pretty sure the day was a non-event because the nurses seemed so "you'll be out of here as soon as we can get you home".

The door opened after the end of our test and the nurse said "the Dr wants to know when the last time you ate was" and I told her. When she walked out to tell the Dr, I looked at Jon and we both said "so we're having a baby tonight". Sure enough the nurse came back and announced we would be having a baby tonight because the Dr felt that it would be better to have Anyah a little earlier instead of risking either of our health getting worse.

My heart skipped a beat. I got a little shaky with excitement. Jon and I went about the task of notifying our families, sending out prayer requests and waiting for the nurse to come prep me for surgery. We had about an hour wait. During that time we talked to my mom who was watching Layla and we talked about how nervous I was about having an IV or a catheter.

Strange as it sounds the procedures before surgery scare me worse than surgery. So when the nurses came into give me my actual IV and catheter I was a little bit of a mess. Jon held my hand and kept me breathing calmly while the nurses were totally sweet about talking me through the totally lame process of getting an IV and getting a cath.

Then we waited. Waited. Waited some more. Waited until 9:30 p.m. when it was time for surgery.

Suddenly, it was time and I walked to the operation room with a nurse while Jon got into that special protective jumpsuit they make Daddy's wear in the operating room. I got a spinal tap. The process was calm. The staff talked to me the whole time. I laid down and went numb. They strapped me to things. Eventually the Dr came in and talked to me while she prepped me for surgery. Then they sent for Jon.

Within minutes of Jon's arrival they got started and at 10:01 p.m. Anyah was born. Anyah cried the minute they pulled her out. I may have cried a little at the sound. I know in my head I said a small prayer and thanked the Lord. The experience is totally different when your child comes out screaming and pink.

Anyah was taken aside and checked while Jon talked to me and the nurses. The Dr started putting me back together. I kept asking silly worried Mom questions. I wanted a finger and toe count. I wanted to know how big she was. I wanted to see her. It seemed like it took forever for Jon to be able to get up and take her picture which he immediately brought over to show me on the camera and once she was nice and clean they brought her over to show me.

I talked to her. I welcomed her home. I told her I loved her. I cried a little. Then off she went with Jon and the nurses to the Nursery. The nursery is much less scary to send your child to than the NICU had been. I chatted with the nurses and once I was done being cleaned up they took me to recovery.

I had asked to breast feed as soon as I could so in recovery I chatted with the Dr and the nurse until they told me my husband and child were coming back. I couldn't sit up but the nurse was nice enough to help me breast feed right there in recovery. I stayed in recovery for awhile and I talked to Jon and held my beautiful daughter then once I was cleared to head back to Mom/Baby unit we all went like a little parade.

The nurse wheeled my bed. Jon wheeled the baby in her basinet and we went to my room. It was peaceful.

It wasn't pool in the living room natural or no pain medication empowering natural labor but it was beautiful. I think that's the thing that made me want to write this story the most. I think there are a lot of women out there facing a c-section that are thinking that might make them less of a woman or make them feel like they are forced into some clinical experience that can cheat them out of feeling like they can have a beautiful & peaceful birthing experience.

The beautiful things about childbirth are different in every case. I got a beautiful daughter. I got to laugh with my Dr. I got to be excited with my husband and giddy with hope. I had wonderful people there, complete strangers- a nurse who prayed when she thought I wasn't looking in the ER and staff that was wonderful and kind. In my case, childbirth took a village... but how beautiful is it that I didn't have to pick it, the perfect people were there at the perfect time to give me a peaceful and beautiful childbirth of an amazing and wonderful new daughter. Healthy and perfect in EVERY way.

Welcoming Anyah

I'll be posting a birth story later, but for now here are some pictures for those of you that were nice enough to follow along and pray for us in our difficult journey to bringing this beautiful little girl home.

My 4 Hour Trip to the Hospital

So today was my OBGYN appointment for Anyah's weekly check up. I am still having blood pressure issues and they now include blurred vision and little balls of light flashing around in my eyes. That second one, well they worry about that because they don't want me to have a stroke and that's a threat with a history of preeclampsia and little balls of scary light.

My OBGYN wanted to have a closer look at my current health being as last time my liver issues were so sudden and severe. We went to EMC and did an OB check and a full blood panel (but I hadn't ate or drank in awhile so it took 3 tries (the third of which was in my hand- OUCH) to get those blood panels).

My blood pressure is all over the place, high then low...steady and then sometimes irratic. Anyah is lovely as always.

As a safety precaution it looks like my c-section will be moved up. But, not to today. Today we got to go home to take another 24 hour urine test, another OB test tomorrow and an appointment with my OBGYN on Friday will let us know when.

It was a long long day, especially for Jon...who got up for work today at 3:15 and has to do it again tomorrow...poor guy.

Fulfilled

Today started and ended well. The middle...well it was middle.

But oh the start, Bee-aaa-uutiful... a giggling toddler waking rested and wanting to climb all over me with kisses and pretend puppy dog play. Cuddling in bed under cool comforters and hearing stories spoken in broken toddler words about dreams that only she understands. Dancing in her Pjs. Pancakes with extra butter and syrup that I didn't have to make.

Then the end, a suprise visit from a girlfriend where my daughter played well with the baby and didn't get too jealous of Mommy and Daddy giving the baby attention when it was there to visit. A toddler then crushed when the friend and baby had to go. Good signs?

Followed by dinner with friends. BBQ that was yummy. A child that while she ran up and down the hallways (SO MUCH ROOM) was actually pretty well behaved, not very itchy and overall a good kid. Talking in the kitchen. Visiting on the couch. Feeling the baby kick all stirred up by red meat for dinner and ice cream for dessert.

DVD TV shows with the hubby in clean pajamas before bed. Time alone in a quiet and cool house to blog.

A very full heart.

The Hospital Bag & Other Lessons Learned

The first time you get pregnant you think you need everything. You want to read everything. You want to KNOW everything. I have since renamed "What to expect when you're expecting" to the "what to look for if you want to panic" book because let me tell you... it's nerve wracking enough to carry a life inside you without wondering if your feet are swelling or if you have pre-eclampsia or if maybe you're toes are about to fall off from some sort of blood clot because page 149 of a mystery book said that could happen in rare cases.

I didn't fall for everything. We never had a wipes warmer for instance and somethings we bought as we went so I didn't have stacks of toddler stuff all over my house fully assembled befoer I even had a baby at home. I had learned some stuff from watching a few of my girlfriends. But I did fall for a lot of stupid things and because Layla was early there was some stuff I didn't get to do or didn't expect that haunted me for awhile after she came.

For instance, her room was ready and I had made a hospital bag to put in the car. It just wasn't in the car and it was USELESS (seriously who makes those lists of what to bring online). Jon got my bag for me and after 2 days in the hospital all I had used was my bathroom stuff and my cell phone charger and I had this HUGE pink bag of stuff I never even looked at. I did not *personally* need candles, and music, and pictures. I never once played cards or read a book/magazine before or after she came. We didn't eat the snacks. Maybe that's just us. If it helps you to have a 30 lb bag to take to and from the hospital more power to you.

This time I packed and planned a lot differently. I have a hospital bag. It has an outfit to wear home and some PJs just in case I want to dress up instead of letting my recovery ruin the nice free hospital gowns (I doubt it). This time I did remember to pack socks and a pair of ugly underwear (or 4) because last time I had to have someone bring me socks and I ruined good undergarments on the ride home. I packed my camera with an extra battery and memory card and the charger for the camera battery and my phone. I packed a toiletries bag. I packed exactly 1 book and mostly it's there this time because EMC has an H1N1 policy that will keep me from having any visitors other than my husband post delivery which means I'll spend some time alone while Jon is taking care of Layla at home. So it's a back up plan.

Last time, I had a lot of expectations. Too many years being a nice girl raised by old fashioned women I expected a TLC baby story reception for my bundle of joy. Up until my delivery, whenever someone had a baby I went to see them in the hospital. I took a small gift. I also went to see them when they got home, and I took them a casserole or a pot of something. That's what people do. I saw it on TV. My grandmother did it. My Aunt did it. No one did that with Layla. We got exactly NO homecooked meal bearing visitors. (I have since stopped taking people food because OBVIOUSLY this is so 1950's it was stupid and everyone must have thought I was crazy). But we also really didn't get many visitors at home (bonding time I guess). This time with people not being able to see us at the hospital I know people will come to the house first chance they get so I have the hubby cleaning the carpets soon and I have prepped the fridge/pantry with things *I* can cook easily while recovering from a C-section and while having house guests.

The main thing that's different this time is the Layla factor. I know I have a toddler who isn't going to see me for 3 days when Anyah comes and when I come home she's going to be all about attention and climbing on me post surgery. She'll also be rebeling from a lot of time with Nannie (which has less rules) and adjusting to a new person here. I have no way to prepare for that other than prayer. I guess next time I'll have those lessons learned to.

So yesterday someone asked me what my advice for a 1st time mom would be... here it is...

1. worry about you and baby...every one else will cope
2. don't plan for help but accept it if it comes over
3. you don't need to buy the entire baby section of Target, play smart not hard.
4. hand mittens suck as do most baby towels and you will hardly ever use them
5. not every baby is the same (some swaddle, some hate it/some co-sleep, some use a crib better/ some breast feed, some can't or won't) so do what feels right because in the end you're the one you have to spend the rest of your life with
6. ignore advice, even this advice, if you want to

Sonograms and Daydreaming

This is Anyah at 37 weeks chillin in her comfy baby bump blowing some bubbles. Fun times. I like how she's resting her little arm over her eyes like she can't be bothered with us looking at her. It might break her chill.

She's in a lot of fluid so she's pretty comfy I bet. That lots of fluid is why they say I can't feel her much. Which, by the way, is much less scary then when they said she might be really small or not developing. She rocks at developing well.

Mommy has issues, she has anxiety, high blood pressure and now a rockin little infection (complete with antibiotics) but Anyah...she's just peachy. She has round little cheeks and her sisters button nose.

So while she's daydreaming away in there I think I'll sit around out here and daydream about her arrival... at least until next week when they take another peek at her and see if it's time for her to come out and play yet.

Post-natal Top Ten

There are a few things about being pregnant that I am NOT going to miss at all. These are the top 10 things I am looking forward to after Anyah is born.

10. Not having to pee 300 times a day with great urgency. It's not the number of trips but the speed at which you discover you must go and then have to get there to go... annoying.

9. Being able to clean my own house. Gosh it's a mess here...a big cluttery mess.

8. Making real food again. Being as I can't stand for long we've been eating a lot of easy to cook processed crap. I want to go back to eatting real food ASAP after Anyah comes and her birth is right around when the Farmer's Market opens...so there is hope.

7. Picking up my toddler when she cries. God it kills me when my kid is crying and I have to tell her she has to sit with me on the floor. I know this will take awhile post c-section but I still miss it.

6. Driving... and the freedom that comes with it. There are a ton of things I would love to do with Layla (even now) that I just can't do because I can't drive there.

5. Fixing my right hip. My hip has been out for over a month. Post baby I'll probably get a chiropractor appointment if it doesn't fix itself.

4. Eatting forbidden foods. Somewhere there is a margarita and some sushi with my name on them.

3. Holding my newborn daughter and seeing what she looks like.

2. Making out with my husband. Jon's got this whole long hair thing going on right now. It's hot. Real hot.

1. Sleeping on my stomach. (What you thought it would be something more spiritual or meaningful?) I SOOOO miss being able to sleep comfortably. I want to lay on my tummy and tuck a pillow under my head and sleep...even if it's only for 2 hours between feedings.

Widget

Today one of my girlfriends texted me and said "so how far along are you now" and my answer was "I have a sonogram on Wednesday" to which she wrote back "but how many weeks are you now" and I didn't know. I seriously have lost all track of time. I had to go to facebook and check my widget countdown. I am 36 weeks (or 37 depending on who you ask).

In less than 3 weeks (no matter what) I'll have a baby in my arms instead of my tummy... sooner if that ultrasound says it should be.

Today I checked the mail, it's Sunday... I figured that out 3 hours later. Yes... 3 hours.

The toddler didn't nap today and there is a rain storm here for some unknown reason and all I want in life is to sleep comfortably but I can't because there is some random pain in my right hip that never goes completely away. And, as a result, I have no idea what day it is, how many weeks along I am or where I put down my Pepsi.

I wonder if they make a "where is my Pepsi" widget?

this little baby- another update

So now that the OBGYN appointments are weekly, you'll be getting one of these awesome little update blogs about once a week...lucky you.

Today I had my mom pick me up and take me to my appointment. Originally, she didn't go in with me as she wanted to do iPhone things in her comfy car. I didn't have to wait long because I was the 2nd appointment of the day and the first girl was barely pregnant (nurses words not mine).

I got the results from my 24 hour urine and my blood test and the short answer is I have preeclampsia but just a little. My blood pressure was actually down after having Jon home a lot the last two days, getting lots of rest and moving my appointment to the mornings when I haven't had Layla pushing my buttons all day but my bottom number was still a little high. That part, the drop in BP made my OBGYN sigh a little in relief. They like it when "rest" works.

I am still super anemic even with the 2 iron pills I am taking a day. So I get to keep doing that. My poor tummy was sad to hear that.

Then we went on to talk about movement. Anyah doesn't move much. When she moves she moves for awhile but she probably only has 2 periods of movement a day. That worried him a little. My belly hadn't changed size and I had lost a pound of the water weight I put on last week (actually I think I lost most of the water weight and put on some weight because let me tell you I have been eating and EATING and eating).

So the lack of "growth" and the sparse movement red flagged me for a Neo-stress test on the monitor. I texted my mom in the parking lot and she came in to keep me company (who wants to sit in a parking lot for another 30 minutes- not her).

Anyah hated the test. She kicked the fetal monitor so many times they eventually gave up and had a nurse come HOLD IT DOWN for 15 minutes. Poor girl. So the answer to that issue is if you want my kid to move, just strap something to her "space" she appearantly hates that.

Next week we get a sonogram to make sure she's growing even though I'm not really. That's the IUGR thing I mentioned last week. They just want to make sure she's not exceptionally small being as usually at this point people put on 1 to 2 lbs per week and well...we're just not doing that.

Her heartrate was fine though...high from all that exercise kicking the monitor for awhile and then totally normal. So I think she's probably fine, but better safe than sorry.

At Home

The longer I am home with Layla the more I am baffled by how quickly she is picking things up. Given how eager she is to learn to do new things I think it's time Mommy bit the bullet on that whole potty training thing. I am thinking of starting Monday (so I don't have to worry about potty breaks on Easter).

The longer I am home the more I am frustrated by how unusable some of our space is here. I feel like there is stuff all around me...oh nevermind...that's just the toddler destroying the floor for the 4th time today with a bucket of toys.

The longer I am home the more I have an overwhelming nesting desire to own cabinets of food in order to have everything we'll need when Anyah comes. It's like my brain forgets the grocery store will still be available after I give birth. It's not like Jon won't go to the store when I ask him to.

The longer I am home the more I wonder what it will be like to have 2 kids, to go back to work, to not have a car payment, to actually get an SDI check in the mail (what is taking so long people), to sleep without being uncomfortable, to fit in my clothes, to be able to see new baby eyes and hold her tiny feet in my hands.

The longer I am home, the longer it feels like I have to wait...even though my brain knows the time is drawing closer.

This.Here.Baby- An Update

So today we had an OBGYN appointment. Mom dropped me off and took Laylabug for a ride in the car while I went in to see the Doctor. My blood pressure was better and worse all at the same time. The top number had dropped some from the moderate bedrest and the bottom number was still scary high.

My Dr asked how I was doing with the list of "no-no's" she had given to me and I was as honest with my replies. I've had lower back issues off and on for 3 or 4 days now. By today it's pretty much constant discomfort sprinkled with abdominal cramping...otherwise known as pre-term labor.

The Dr after some Q & A thinks that my high stress night (post family birthday dinner) probably re-increased my stress level and that's what started me further down the path I am on. She increased my list of bedrest rules and got me set up for a 24 hour urine test (to confirm I have pre-eclampsia...she's pretty sure I've moved up a level into that from just high blood pressure) and a sonogram to rule out IUGR because she said at this point she'd be shocked if they didn't have to move up my c-section date.

So I've got weekly OBGYN appointments from now on. I've got a sonogram on the 14th. And I've got strict instructions that if my blurry vision gets worse, or I get a headache I can't cope with, or upper torso cramps of any kind that I immediately go to the hospital because at this point the baby is far enough along she could be born and avoid me going into full fledged eclampsia or toxemia. She sees no need for me to turn yellow and loose liver function again like I did with Layla and she says we're on that path again...lucky us...

So if you're in the due date pool at work...the end of April is looking better for your odds.

Next Weekend

Next weekend I turn 31. That day my daughter officially earns the half in 2 1/2 years old. The next day I turn 9 months pregnant. Funny, I always thought adult life would be like this but I never thought it would be exactly like this.

Being home (while forgiven of the stresses of working) adds a different bundle of anxiety. Twenty four hours a day with a toddler, spending all your free time with either you mom or your husband (no matter how much you love them) and not being able to do anything by yourself or go anywhere alone...well... it's exhausting...for everyone. Add to that an unknown decrease in income yet to be determined between SDI and my supplemental disability insurance, some HR paperwork that just keeps trickling into my mailbox and the constant destruction of my carpet that can only be caused by a small person who knows you're already busy... well... it's going to be a long 5 to 6 weeks.

This week should be a fun one though. Layla's 1/2 birthday post will be up a day or two early because I will be enjoying some birthday fun this weekend. Friday night my family is coming over for pizza and cake. Then Saturday night we have dinner with another couple. Sunday I get 2 fun things in one day... lunch and a pedicure with a girlfriend followed by a Wrestlemania gathering we've been invited to. Yes, I am a wrestling dork, yes, I am excited.

What about you? Any fun plans this week?

All Home

So I've been off work now for um...5 days... and while there has been a lot of resting there has also been a lot of getting stuff done so that I don't have to think about it anymore. After all in 6 weeks give or take there will be another baby in this house. A small one- that probably expects to have clean clothes ready for it.

So the resting is being alternated with Jon and Mom helping me get things done. Whether that's a trip to Target or a trip to take in my SDI paperwork depends on the day. It's been interesting. I especially like that I get to nap with my Laylabug today and any day that I darn well feel like it for awhile.

Today being the day of all things Irish we had leprechaun pancakes (very small- gold coin size) of which Laylabug ate about a million. And tonight I might see if Mom wants to have corn beef and cabbage tacos like my Grandma Darlene used to make being as she's been nice enough to offer to come over on the nights when Jon closes and help me get the toddler to bed.

I've moved into the uncomfortable phase. Just in time for my birthday. Good thing I opted out of big birthday fun for something smaller...with cake.

My Baby Shower for Anyah

This is Sarah, she threw me a shower at one of my favorite places to eat with some great family and friends (oh and Miss Mia, Jen's daughter...she's even cute w/ stink eye)

We call Anyah "bean" so my mom made favors with jelly beans in them.

The girls/ladies brought my lovely gifts for Anyah and a wide assortment of wipes and diapers.

Miss Jen got me a lovely ducky cake.

It was a wonderful meal with a small group of wonderful people and wonderful gifts. More pictures are available on Bug & Bean. Thanks!

Stressful Stopping

So every single OBGYN appointment for a few months now I mention to my OBGYN that my vision is very blurry, I can't read far away, my depth perception is wonky and I have no night vision. On every single visit he tells me it's just high blood pressure symptoms from swelling in my eyes and not to panic because it will go away after the baby is born.

About a month ago I stopped driving in the dark. For the most part I only drive when it's necessary anyhow...to work and back, to the store, to the bank...stuff like that.

Today after work I was exhausted, it's been a long week. I took Layla to McDonald's in broad daylight to get her a happy meal for dinner and me a burger so I could rest this evening instead of making dinner.

I obviously can't be trusted to drive in broad daylight anymore, I sorta clipped a pole. The McDonald's employee blew me off when I mentioned it. Something about that's why the big poles are there.

I panicked in the parking lot. I couldn't get Jon on his cell or work number for a minute there. There was no structure damage to my car, the pole or the people in the car. So I nervously, cautiously, at the speed of an elderly person...drove home.

I parked in the garage. I let my kid play in the car with her happy meal (she likes that) and I took the picture above.

Then for awhile I squated out in the garage and scrubbed yellow paint off my car. There appears to be one small scratch, which isn't much considering how shaken up I was. So we came inside and had dinner.

I got ahold of the hubby who calmed me down some. Anyah seems to be moving around just fine (we barely bumped the pole) so I am sure she is fine. Layla may or may not have learned a new curse-word, she used it right after I did. But she's fine. In fact, she enjoyed "washin" the car with a towel with me.

All in all, no big deal...except it's a huge deal and yet a HUGE deal. My husband said from now on I only drive directly to and from work. I don't even want to drive to the end of the driveway and back. Do you know how much life will suck without driving? And I do not want to do it at all... that should tell you something, right?

Tomorrow I'll call the OBGYN and give them an earful. Blowing people off sometimes ends badly for everyone involved, this could have been MUCH worse.

Praise Jesus it was just a trial of the emotions and not something much more scary.

What's that? Anyah...

So the first thing I want to point out is, the front of my belly is covered with stretchmarks and this photo has been cropped to hide my lack of makeup and huge ghetto booty...that's to help the other preggers out there that are comparing.

The second thing I'd like to point out is that I am 8 months pregnant and those jeans are the jeans I bought Jon's birthday weekend at Old Navy on our way home from San Francisco. They fit in August and they still fit now. It's vaguely creepy.

Today was my OBGYN appointment to check on the status of Miss Anyah. My blood pressure is still high and the Dr told me to check it whenever I could at work and let him know if it got any higher and no driving at night. Right now the plan is for me to work until April 9th or so unless something happens that would warrant me leaving earlier (like higher BP).

Anyah was doing lovely. She actually moved enough that he had to try three times to get her heartbeat. She had a lovely 140 bpm despite my blood pressure. She's measuring "small" which actually means average for a normal size person but considering how big our last baby was and how big I am the Dr was a little shocked.

I've lost 2 more lbs which I think officially means I lost all of the weight that I had finally put back on. That's fine.

I told my mom the other day that this pregnancy is completely different in many ways but the most noticable way for me (as a mommy) is that fact that last time I never felt like I looked pregnant until the VERY VERY end. And then I looked like a very pregnant very fat person. This time I feel very very pregnant looking and not so fat. I have a baby shelf that I could balance a remote control (or lots of blocks as Layla likes to) on. I'm just carrying completely differently.

So 3 weeks to my next appointment. Almost 4 weeks of work left. and a little less than 2 months until the lovely Miss Anyah arrives in person.

The only thing I am actually worried about at this point and hoping that people will pray for with me is that EMC changes their H1N1 regulations before Anyah arrives so Layla can meet her sister in the hospital. It's a big deal to me and I'd like to stop thinking about it every day.

Randomocity

yes...it's a bullet blog...but there are a lot of random things I've never tied up from previous posts so this is like the to-do list of never written 1 paragraph follow up posts...

• Now that Layla is back on a reasonable schedule with some structure she is doing much better and we've phased from TERRIBLE 2 back to totally awesome toddler. I've decided to wait until I am home on maternity leave to work on potty training because so far the only person she appears to be interested in impressing with her pee in the potty is Mommy. Oh well...she's only 2.
• Both of the lovely people I asked to spend time with me on/near my birthday have made room in their busy schedules for me. In addition, several people RSVP'd for my shower this week (after some prompting that yes you do actually have to RSVP - just kidding- love you guys!) so now I just need to figure out if there will be some sort of family Birthday-something-or-other. I called my dad about that 4 days ago and he said he'd call me when he got home... I'm sure he's home by now... so I think we're just putting it off.
• I think I have decided what the Easter Bunny is allowed to bring Layla. Rest assured (some of you actually emailed me) there will be candy...there was always going to be candy it's a tradition but last year we ate candy from Easter well into June and I didn't want to repeat that.
• Dying eggs with a 2 year old... it scares me... opinions?
• Everytime I put something on my registry at Target I get the email from someone saying...I went to buy a fill in the blank and it says it's out of stock until the end of life as we know it. Now it's the swing. So there are 2 swings on my registry...hopefully at any given time one will be in stock, hopefully....(but I only need one)
• My daughter has been carrying around a picture frame with a picture on one side of me and Nannie (my mom) and a picture of me and Papa (my dad) on the other side. She went to sleep with it last night in bed with us. When I asked why she said that Papa was sleepy. Papa needs to visit more.
• I need to go to the library. I have cookbooks to pick up. It's my new brilliant idea to check out cookbooks before I buy them because I have more than a few cookbooks that I wish I didn't own even though I collect them. For instance, the Grandma's Casserole book...disgusting...anyone want it?
• Layla seems to be having a growth spurt. I do believe we're going to be a 3T before summer. Which means, I need to get to yard sale and consignment shopping. I hate paying full price for summer clothing, it's so expensive and they only wear it for a few months.
• My child has taken to alternating between counting EVERYTHING and singing to herself. This means she is talking constantly, usually in her own language. It's pretty cute.
• The baby (Anyah) dropped some this week. While lightening means that labor will eventually come, WebMD says it could be anywhere between tomorrow and never so I think I'll just be glad for the break on my lungs. She still hasn't dropped all the way as I don't have horrible pelvic pressure but it was better then it was.
• I have an OBGYN appt on Tuesday
• Jon's student loan lein is finally paid off. Hallelujah!
• Prayer request- EMC still has an H1N1 policy that will keep my daughter from seeing the new baby in the hospital and me from seeing anyone for 3 days. Please pray they reverse the policy before Anyah comes
• Pop's wife has been moved to a "rehab" facility. At this point she is still refusing to do things like physical therapy (her choice but she's gonna shrivel up and lose all the muscle she has left) so that's not looking to good. Pop and mom are doing better though now that they can go visit and then go home and not take care of someone while having COPD (Pop) or Arthritis (Mom)
• If I missed anything that you are still waiting for a status update on, please let me know and I'll add more bullets.

Love Ya!