Sprinkles, Now Available with iPhone Pictures

Ok so it's a whole month of bullet point blogs, but it's December and I haven't abandoned my blog which is more than I can say for some of the blogs out there with tumble weeds and spider webs for goodness knows how long... I'm trying people. I'm trying.

• Last night was a pretty crummy night at work which was then topped off by accidently running into a picture of JB when I least expected it leaving me so emotional that I came home with a box of donuts and promptly shoved 2 into my mouth (not at the same time though, that would be dangerous for my shirt)
• To get Layla to nap today I may have promised we'd decorate sugar cookies when she got up, which means I need to get to baking some "almost homemade" goodness ASAP because I don't have any sugar cookies ready to decorate (On the behalf of working mom's nationwide I'd like to thank Pillsbury for this mother of the year moment *ahem*)
• Anyah is crawling around trying to pull things off the tree *strike that* she has a glitter snowflake now which is waving around in triumph.
• At the parade, Nannie let Layla take pictures with her iPhone (how jealous is that little girl behind her-VERY) but what's more fun then a picture from my iPhone of Layla taking a picture of me with Mom's iPhone
• Layla loves Christmas cards and rearranges the wall I have them taped to at least once a day.
• Anyah says something that sounds a lot like "ma ma"... I am hoping this is going to turn out to be "ma ma" because MAMA wants to be a first word this time.
• Jon downloaded more Christmas music off iTunes and put it in my phone for me to listen to at work tonight. While I know iTunes is user friendly I find the husband downloading App to be my favorite so far.
• I am off and running for the HOLIDAY SWOOP. What you don't have a swoop? Well that's when you have nothing really all December despite asking people to book things earlier in the month if possible then you get to the 16th and you have something biggish every day until the 26th when you fall with a swoop on to the couch and glare at your holiday decorations in exhaustion.
• Hey, guess what? Turns out the Christmas party at work is formal-ish. Lucky me, guess who gets to buy a dress before Friday. *sigh*
• Anyah has discovered her inner diva whine. Oh.My.God.Make.It.Stop.Puh-Leease...
• Layla is in love with Christmas. It's giving me a new fond appreciation for Christmas lights and Silly Songs. My new favorite song "two turtle ducks and a share cake in a bear tree"...so what if she doesn't know the words...her version is much more entertaining.

And on that note... I bid you farewell until I find more bullet points... I seem to have run out. Perhaps they are with the sprinkles.

What?! You want more sprinkles?

• On the night of the Christmas Parade we had my mom come early so that Jon and I could borrow her SUV and run to get a tree. Layla FREAKED OUT when Jon tried to leave the house without her. So...she got to go to "the Christmas Tree store" with us. We had no trouble picking a tree quickly. Then we brought it home, tossed it in the garage and went to the parade. That night while I was at work and the kids were in bed Jon got it into a stand and into the living room. The next day we sent Layla to my mom's and put Anyah down for a nap and Jon decorated the tree. Good times.
• Jon went to South Carolina. Then Jon came back. Now randomly Layla will decide she has to lose her shit when he is gone for too long. Like last night when he went to work. "oh no Daddy missing" became her battle cry and if I had another car we would have went to Daddy's work to say hi...because it was that bad.
• We got NetFlicks on Demand, I think I mentioned that. Layla and Anyah love the variety of new stuff. We have now been introduced to Angelina Ballerina and Thomas the Train. As adults, Jon and I are less thrilled, but I did manage to get some things done this morning with Thomas playing on loop.
• Yesterday Layla and I made cupcakes that are both high in sugar and food coloring. They taste like sugar. Layla loves this but it mostly makes me want to brush my tongue with something. Ewww.
• I got invited to a Christmas party. I know? Right? That never happens to me... I am pretty excited.
• Anyah took her nap this morning with Daddy who desperately needed to sleep in. I can hear her up there talking to him and I am sure she is petting his facial hair and that any minute now they will come downstairs.
• Layla may or may not have had scrambled eggs, bacon and a cupcake for breakfast. She's cute. I caved.
• Yesterday Layla left a cupcake on one of her little chairs in the middle of the living room. Anyah discovered the cupcake and worshiped it by spreading it all over herself, making happy noises and nom nom noming it to bits all over the carpet. First cupcake smashing ninja success.
• Right now my iPhone is syncing for the first time since October. Needless to say it's taking awhile. I really need to get better about that.
• Speaking about things I am behind on, I have this weekend off. I am hoping this means I will finally catch up on the 2 months worth of pictures I need to post on the girls website.
• Christmas Tree Lane is calling me with it's flashing lights, animated wooden cut outs and pop up inflatables... if only it would stop raining on the days I plan to go, that would be AWESOME.
• It's raining by the way.
• The white car is gone. We are down to one car. But, it's one car that works. We are also up one parking spot. Which is good considering we stopped parking the garage (with two kids to load/unload it's just too hard).
• Jon brought home presents from SC. He brought Layla a little Delta plane like the one he flew home on. She is convinced it is a rocket. It just blasted off Anyah and landed on the piano. Anyah finds this game very amusing, except for the part where she can't touch the airplane for any reason.
• Anyah crawls
• Anyah has 3 teeth now
• Layla can write her name, but only if she wants to
• The Christmas bug is calling. Jon's mom still hasn't gotten me that fudge recipe. So I am about to go wing it (again) wish me luck.

Giving Thanks

For a family which I love.

For a God who loves me.

For a bounty of food at my table.

For a home which keeps me safe.

For technology which allows me to be close to those far away.

For Pepsi with ice and other favorites that really are "little things".

For people who protect us, serve us, believe in us, and motivate us.

For friends who we wish we saw more but love just the same.

For laughter, when things (much like this picture) just don't turn out the way you expected.

For sisters who love each other even if they refuse to sit together.

For playing pretend, making messes, dancing on the furniture and snuggling for naps.

For husbands that love well, look hot, and take out the trash without being asked.

For movies, music, art, science, and books which inspire us to just imagine what it would be like outside the box.

For butter because it really is better with butter.

For chocolate when you need it and cupcakes when chocolate just isn't enough.

For curly topped babies with fuzzy pajamas who rub your face until they fall asleep.

For confident little girls who never shy away from having a life lived in BIG moments.

For pictures that speak a thousand words...or just one.

For loved ones we miss but will see again some day in heaven.

For the chance to change.
For the traditions that are always the same.

For dreaming big, living with adventure, and for being content with what you've got if those other two things aren't working out.

For forgiveness.

For hope.

For tomorrow is another day and this too shall pass.

For standing up for what you believe in.
For standing up for someone else because you believe in them even if they don't believe in themselves.

For a world that is only as big as are hearts let us see and as small as our ambitions let us experience it.

For children of a global culture.

For one more day, hour, minute, second, glimpse of what the future holds.

For that ability to find more things to be thankful for than I could possibly ever get around to listing.

For you. Yes especially for you.

For days when we give thanks even if it's not thanksgiving and days of thanksgiving to remind us if we ever forget...

For we are thankful...

so very very thankful.

The Places You'll Go - Winter Addition

Autumn is a quick season in the central valley and we didn't come close to finishing that list of things to try out...but that's ok, it's not a to do list, it's a list of ideas in case we're looking for something to do.

Winter is gaining on us fast and we're all ready to go. The cupboards are stocked with supplies for big hearty pasta dishes and simple simmered soups. Jackets have been purchased, as well as, hats and mittens in preparation for the first big cold streak.

The rains have come. Thanksgiving is just days away. I think it's time to start thinking about what we'd like to try out this winter.

• I would still like to try and make it to the Discovery Museum
• We have plans already to paint some pottery at Color Me Mine
• I took off time from work so we could Attend the Downtown Turlock Lights Parade
• We need to make a trip to Christmas Tree Lane once it's open
• In family tradition, Anyah will need official Santa pictures this year to document her first Christmas
• Layla and Mommy have some Christmas crafts and decorations to make
• We've started pulling out Christmas movies but we're going to have a Claymation Movie Marathon soon
• I invision Homemade Christmas Sugar Cookies and eat them with Hot Chocolate stirred with a Candy Cane
• We're going to make and use an advent chain this year
• We have to take a family trip to the Hallmark store so that everyone can pick out their ornaments for this year
• Layla has expressed interest in going to the post office and mailing a package and since so much of our family lives far away, we'll get to do that eventually.
• There will be new Christmas Jammies on Christmas eve and all the magic and wonder that comes with Christmas morning
• We are going to attempt *again* to make fudge, maybe this year it will be yummy
• Lastly, I'd like to take the girls to the snow

What about you? What would you like to do this winter?

Autumn List...Check & Check

I wanted them to attend a Halloween carnival or festival. We ended up at the Downtown Turlock Harvest Festival Farmer's Market...There were balloon animals, music, trick or treat candy and pizza for dinner so I think it totally counts...

We also made it out to Pa's ranch finally, only it rained the day we went so we settled for visiting horses and feeding them instead of riding them...

Two more things off our Autumn list...

Corn Maze & Pumpkin Patch

Today after Jon and I got off work we headed off to the local (ish) Corn Maze & "pumpkin patch" at Fantozzi Farms in Patterson. Layla had never been to a corn maze and I wanted to let her pick her own pumpkin (even though Nannie brought her "the Great Pumpkin" last week (seriously folks I think that pumpkin weighs 50 lbs).

I must say the corn maze part was fun, even for Anyah who kept bouncing about in the stroller (she was asleep when we got there so I opted out of the sling which would have been less bouncy). She laughed away as we bumped and dodged around the smallest corn maze following Layla and Daddy.

Layla loved the corn maze but was more impressed with the train which was decorated like a cow. I think if we could have just rode that over and over she would have had even more fun. She tried everything once though, the corn seed pit, the tricycle races, climbing the hay bale pyramid... everything but the hay ride, which really didn't look that fun.

It was another item off our Autumn List and I am glad it was. Although next year I think I'll put in a real trip to a different pumpkin patch in addition to the Corn Maze because their pumpkin area left something to be desired...like... the general feel and enjoyment of a pumpkin patch. Stick to the corn maze, no really, stick to the corn maze. Still a fun little family outing, if I do say so myself.

Autumn List

Half asleep in September watching Halloween Movies and having popcorn (she didn't want my caramel popcorn) Attending the Fall Festival in Newman and watching it's parade

Feeding the ducks at Donnelly Park in Turlock (no picnic but we brought a snack and had that)

Making Bread with Mommy on an Autumn Day...

Remember the Autumn List? Well in case you forgot it... just wanted to point out the things we've done off of it so far...

And later this week we have plans for the pumpkin patch/corn maze..

Summer

When I was a little girl I could feel summer coming from the day after Easter on. For Easter I always got a few things in my basket that were meant for the MANY days I would spend at the community pool with my friends. I longed for weather above 80 degrees so my mom would let us play in the sprinkler. I checked off the days on my calendar until summer finally arrived and the very next morning I got into my bathing suit where I stayed for most of the next 2 months. I wore shorts and slept in the living room with friends over. I smelled like suntan lotion no matter what I did.

I grew up in a small town. The kind where you rode your bike to your friends house because that was the height of social entertainment. I was blessed with parents that were home a lot and knew the value of fun. Cousins stayed over, we played games, there was lots of junk food. Summer rocked.

I also remember the wide variety of cool trips we took in the summers. Some of them were to do awesome things (like Disneyland) or to visit family. Some of them were to local events my mom found out about. I spent a lot of time at my grandparent's ranch just being a kid with an imagination. And crafts...there were many.

So now summer is here and Layla is big enough to do things with. Add to that the fact that I am home and Jon has been working a schedule that makes it easy to do things as a family and my summer syndrome flaired up pretty bad.

Here is a new extended list of things I'd like to do with Layla this summer...

• A trip to the ocean


• Stanislaus County Fair~ Beach Boys concert & rides & junk food~


• Attend a 4th of July Parade & Write our names with sparklers


• Eat Smores and play in the sprinklers as the sun goes down


• Take Layla to the CrowsLanding Community Pool and teach her to swim ~wear coconut scented tan lotion and eat an ice cream from the ice cream truck~


• Go out for ice cream


• Go to the zoo in San Francisco or Fresno ~depending on the heat~


• Go to the Farmer's Market or the Flea Market and look for treasures


• Introduce Layla to fingerpainting


• Paint Pottery


• Eat lots of BBQ


• Patterson Apricot Festival


• Walk through Old Town Sacramento and have lunch at Joe's Crabshack


• Picnic at the park on Broadway & Play in the kids waterpark there


• Visit the Stockton Children's Discovery Museum


• Take Layla to her first movie in the theatre ~eat buttered popcorn w/ M&M's mixed in~


• Storytime at the Turlock Library


• Playdates at the park with visiting family or friends


• Paint our toenails & let Layla give me a make-up makeover

I actually wrote this list on paper about a month ago so we've already been working on it. The items crossed off have been completed.

**editing note- I am coming back to this post and crossing things off as we do them**

Storytime @ the Turlock Library

Yesterday Layla, Anyah and I went to the Toddler Storytime at the Turlock Library. It was our first time there so I was a little worried about Layla behaving while I was holding the baby but she did a great job following the example of the other kids. It's a very "free" group so it didn't matter that she had a lot of wiggle in her.

You sit through 3 stories that are alternated with songs and poems with hand motions. Sometimes Layla sat on the floor and sometimes on the chair next to me. She didn't want to sit with the other kids yet but at the end another little boy joined her on the floor who was also sitting in the back and scared to join the others.

The dancing was by far Layla's favorite part and I know we'll go back again next week just because she was so excited to be around other kids and we need to make some friends her age.

As a reward for her good behavior we got 3 books and brought them home to read until next week. I told her she could have two but she insisted the last one was Anyah's book and it was so cute I let her get away with it.

So we've officially checked another thing off the summer list I made earlier this year. But I think I need to rewrite the list because I've come up with some better/different things.

The Hospital Bag & Other Lessons Learned

The first time you get pregnant you think you need everything. You want to read everything. You want to KNOW everything. I have since renamed "What to expect when you're expecting" to the "what to look for if you want to panic" book because let me tell you... it's nerve wracking enough to carry a life inside you without wondering if your feet are swelling or if you have pre-eclampsia or if maybe you're toes are about to fall off from some sort of blood clot because page 149 of a mystery book said that could happen in rare cases.

I didn't fall for everything. We never had a wipes warmer for instance and somethings we bought as we went so I didn't have stacks of toddler stuff all over my house fully assembled befoer I even had a baby at home. I had learned some stuff from watching a few of my girlfriends. But I did fall for a lot of stupid things and because Layla was early there was some stuff I didn't get to do or didn't expect that haunted me for awhile after she came.

For instance, her room was ready and I had made a hospital bag to put in the car. It just wasn't in the car and it was USELESS (seriously who makes those lists of what to bring online). Jon got my bag for me and after 2 days in the hospital all I had used was my bathroom stuff and my cell phone charger and I had this HUGE pink bag of stuff I never even looked at. I did not *personally* need candles, and music, and pictures. I never once played cards or read a book/magazine before or after she came. We didn't eat the snacks. Maybe that's just us. If it helps you to have a 30 lb bag to take to and from the hospital more power to you.

This time I packed and planned a lot differently. I have a hospital bag. It has an outfit to wear home and some PJs just in case I want to dress up instead of letting my recovery ruin the nice free hospital gowns (I doubt it). This time I did remember to pack socks and a pair of ugly underwear (or 4) because last time I had to have someone bring me socks and I ruined good undergarments on the ride home. I packed my camera with an extra battery and memory card and the charger for the camera battery and my phone. I packed a toiletries bag. I packed exactly 1 book and mostly it's there this time because EMC has an H1N1 policy that will keep me from having any visitors other than my husband post delivery which means I'll spend some time alone while Jon is taking care of Layla at home. So it's a back up plan.

Last time, I had a lot of expectations. Too many years being a nice girl raised by old fashioned women I expected a TLC baby story reception for my bundle of joy. Up until my delivery, whenever someone had a baby I went to see them in the hospital. I took a small gift. I also went to see them when they got home, and I took them a casserole or a pot of something. That's what people do. I saw it on TV. My grandmother did it. My Aunt did it. No one did that with Layla. We got exactly NO homecooked meal bearing visitors. (I have since stopped taking people food because OBVIOUSLY this is so 1950's it was stupid and everyone must have thought I was crazy). But we also really didn't get many visitors at home (bonding time I guess). This time with people not being able to see us at the hospital I know people will come to the house first chance they get so I have the hubby cleaning the carpets soon and I have prepped the fridge/pantry with things *I* can cook easily while recovering from a C-section and while having house guests.

The main thing that's different this time is the Layla factor. I know I have a toddler who isn't going to see me for 3 days when Anyah comes and when I come home she's going to be all about attention and climbing on me post surgery. She'll also be rebeling from a lot of time with Nannie (which has less rules) and adjusting to a new person here. I have no way to prepare for that other than prayer. I guess next time I'll have those lessons learned to.

So yesterday someone asked me what my advice for a 1st time mom would be... here it is...

1. worry about you and baby...every one else will cope
2. don't plan for help but accept it if it comes over
3. you don't need to buy the entire baby section of Target, play smart not hard.
4. hand mittens suck as do most baby towels and you will hardly ever use them
5. not every baby is the same (some swaddle, some hate it/some co-sleep, some use a crib better/ some breast feed, some can't or won't) so do what feels right because in the end you're the one you have to spend the rest of your life with
6. ignore advice, even this advice, if you want to

Post-natal Top Ten

There are a few things about being pregnant that I am NOT going to miss at all. These are the top 10 things I am looking forward to after Anyah is born.

10. Not having to pee 300 times a day with great urgency. It's not the number of trips but the speed at which you discover you must go and then have to get there to go... annoying.

9. Being able to clean my own house. Gosh it's a mess here...a big cluttery mess.

8. Making real food again. Being as I can't stand for long we've been eating a lot of easy to cook processed crap. I want to go back to eatting real food ASAP after Anyah comes and her birth is right around when the Farmer's Market opens...so there is hope.

7. Picking up my toddler when she cries. God it kills me when my kid is crying and I have to tell her she has to sit with me on the floor. I know this will take awhile post c-section but I still miss it.

6. Driving... and the freedom that comes with it. There are a ton of things I would love to do with Layla (even now) that I just can't do because I can't drive there.

5. Fixing my right hip. My hip has been out for over a month. Post baby I'll probably get a chiropractor appointment if it doesn't fix itself.

4. Eatting forbidden foods. Somewhere there is a margarita and some sushi with my name on them.

3. Holding my newborn daughter and seeing what she looks like.

2. Making out with my husband. Jon's got this whole long hair thing going on right now. It's hot. Real hot.

1. Sleeping on my stomach. (What you thought it would be something more spiritual or meaningful?) I SOOOO miss being able to sleep comfortably. I want to lay on my tummy and tuck a pillow under my head and sleep...even if it's only for 2 hours between feedings.

Randomocity

yes...it's a bullet blog...but there are a lot of random things I've never tied up from previous posts so this is like the to-do list of never written 1 paragraph follow up posts...

• Now that Layla is back on a reasonable schedule with some structure she is doing much better and we've phased from TERRIBLE 2 back to totally awesome toddler. I've decided to wait until I am home on maternity leave to work on potty training because so far the only person she appears to be interested in impressing with her pee in the potty is Mommy. Oh well...she's only 2.
• Both of the lovely people I asked to spend time with me on/near my birthday have made room in their busy schedules for me. In addition, several people RSVP'd for my shower this week (after some prompting that yes you do actually have to RSVP - just kidding- love you guys!) so now I just need to figure out if there will be some sort of family Birthday-something-or-other. I called my dad about that 4 days ago and he said he'd call me when he got home... I'm sure he's home by now... so I think we're just putting it off.
• I think I have decided what the Easter Bunny is allowed to bring Layla. Rest assured (some of you actually emailed me) there will be candy...there was always going to be candy it's a tradition but last year we ate candy from Easter well into June and I didn't want to repeat that.
• Dying eggs with a 2 year old... it scares me... opinions?
• Everytime I put something on my registry at Target I get the email from someone saying...I went to buy a fill in the blank and it says it's out of stock until the end of life as we know it. Now it's the swing. So there are 2 swings on my registry...hopefully at any given time one will be in stock, hopefully....(but I only need one)
• My daughter has been carrying around a picture frame with a picture on one side of me and Nannie (my mom) and a picture of me and Papa (my dad) on the other side. She went to sleep with it last night in bed with us. When I asked why she said that Papa was sleepy. Papa needs to visit more.
• I need to go to the library. I have cookbooks to pick up. It's my new brilliant idea to check out cookbooks before I buy them because I have more than a few cookbooks that I wish I didn't own even though I collect them. For instance, the Grandma's Casserole book...disgusting...anyone want it?
• Layla seems to be having a growth spurt. I do believe we're going to be a 3T before summer. Which means, I need to get to yard sale and consignment shopping. I hate paying full price for summer clothing, it's so expensive and they only wear it for a few months.
• My child has taken to alternating between counting EVERYTHING and singing to herself. This means she is talking constantly, usually in her own language. It's pretty cute.
• The baby (Anyah) dropped some this week. While lightening means that labor will eventually come, WebMD says it could be anywhere between tomorrow and never so I think I'll just be glad for the break on my lungs. She still hasn't dropped all the way as I don't have horrible pelvic pressure but it was better then it was.
• I have an OBGYN appt on Tuesday
• Jon's student loan lein is finally paid off. Hallelujah!
• Prayer request- EMC still has an H1N1 policy that will keep my daughter from seeing the new baby in the hospital and me from seeing anyone for 3 days. Please pray they reverse the policy before Anyah comes
• Pop's wife has been moved to a "rehab" facility. At this point she is still refusing to do things like physical therapy (her choice but she's gonna shrivel up and lose all the muscle she has left) so that's not looking to good. Pop and mom are doing better though now that they can go visit and then go home and not take care of someone while having COPD (Pop) or Arthritis (Mom)
• If I missed anything that you are still waiting for a status update on, please let me know and I'll add more bullets.

Love Ya!

I once made a list of 40 things to do before I was 40 because it was all the rage at the time and I had nothing better to do with my spare time...

Thing is...

I'm almost 31 now.

In 2006, forty seemed like this far off and distant place that I had all the time in the world to get to. Now forty seems a hop skip and a jump after dinner gets done tonight. Time flies when you have kids...and priorities change.

Some of the other bloggers out there have been making "bucket lists" like in that movie... a list of things to do before you die (sounds morbid).

Thing is...

I know I'd wait until the last minute to do it... I'm a procrastinator like that. You'd find me on my death bed with a web page up trying to figure out if there was anything I could knock off the list without hurting myself.

So...

What to do? What to do?

I want to make a list... but not a list before I'm 40 or a list before I die not a to do list for life... more of an "if I had time" or "wouldn't it be bitchin if" list.

So I was talking to a girlfriend about getting older, growing up, trying out life in the hardest circumstances and about how much I miss margaritas when I am preggo and I happened to call it my "what if list".

People give what if such a negative vibe. But really, what if is just another statement of hope if you spin it the right way.

What if I did some stuff if the opportunity ever presented itself... wouldn't that be bitchin?

So I am going to work on a what if list... who's with me?

2010 * A List *

If you know me well, you know I don't make New Year's Resolutions. Resolving to change is like drawing a line in the sand, if I want to change I just do it. And as for that whole "it's a new year now is the time to change" sentiment, well I am just not falling for that. Any time, this moment, is a good time to change...but so is any other moment. Change is something people can do at any time, free will and all that rubbish, so I see no point in giving myself a to do list and then spending 12 months gradually getting less and less diligent about it until I finally just give it up all together.

But, there are some things I'd like to try to do in this upcoming year. So I figure, that's the kind of list that I would start making.

1. Prepare for the birth of our new baby.

2. Meet baby Anyah and introduce Layla to the joys and trials of being a big sister.

3. Travel up and visit Mel and Garratt for a change instead of them always having to come down to us.

4. Get back on the right financial foot.

5. Work on my book.

6. Reconnect with the 2 or 3 friends that I don't see nearly enough and actually miss.

7. Figure out some sort of date night tradition so that I spend time alone with my husband.

8. Give breast feeding a go.

9. Put Layla in some sort of play group or activity (dance, swimming, gymnastics, story time...something) in the spring/summer.

10. Get back on the day road trip band wagon.

11. Find a better source for locally grown food.

12. Go back to cooking, like I love to do, in my kitchen as much as possible.

13. Take Layla to do some cool, local inexpensive things... the zoo, old town, some festivals.

What about you? What would you like to try out this year?

Forty Before Forty

Several of the blogs I read on a regular basis have something like a life to do list. My favorite one is the forty by forty list that is available at Chris' site so I decided to steal her idea and make one of my own... let me know what you think.


Forty Before Forty


1. Have a child of my own or adopt a baby that needs a family
2. Go to Europe with my Husband
3. Finally get a group to take a trip to Hawaii
4. Write and be published in a magazine or paper again
5. Cater a formal dinner for my friends and family
6. Take my nieces and nephew (and my own kids if I have them at the time) to Disneyland
7. Become comfortable with singing in public
8. Own my own home
9. Get out of debt (including paying off cars etc)
10. Lose 50 lbs
11. Find real friends and get rid of toxic friends
12. Go on a girls only vacation to someplace nice
13. Go on a cruise with my husband
14. Learn to trust God with all my heart
15. Plan for retirement
16. Make sure everyone has a will and their desires for old age are clearly outlined
17. Read to my kids from the book that Aunt Penny read to me from
18. Make a family cookbook
19. Sell the things I don't need
20. Stop buying new crap I don't need
21. Curse less
22. Stop using others to measure my value as a person
23. Have a savings account with $10,000.00 in it
24. Go see Jeromy in Germany
25. Become a valuable member of my church and community
26. Master another language and then travel to that country with a missionary group
27. Teach my children the family morals and sayings my grandparents and father taught me
28. Tune my piano so I can start playing again for others
29. Re do my wardrobe so that my clothing actually fits and my jewelry is actually in style
30. Stop eating when I'm stressed out and biting my nails when I'm nervous
31. Become a valuable employee and make more than $50,000.00 a year at my job
32. Start volunteering more in my areas of skill
33. Run a function for my church or a local charity
34. Go through all the pictures that I own and scrapbook the keepers and get rid of the rest
35. Start sewing quilts or knitting again for people who I love
36. Learn to photograph well and to be photographed well
37. Get to the point where I blog every day and have a good reader base
38. Start taking time daily for personal growth by exercising, praying more regularly and writing
39. Finally figure out a way to keep up with the responsibilities of working full time and having a clean house
40. Develop my own family traditions for Christmas, Easter, Fourth of July, and Thanksgiving

Heros

My Heros? People who laugh like they really mean it. People who love with unconditional overflowing parts of their soul. People who help without being asked. People who care without having to gain something. People who give of themselves daily. People who value love over money. People who see children as the future. People who know what they want and need, but do what they should and can. People who have hope. People who know how to be fiesty. People who dance when the music moves them. People who can't sing but make up for it in volume. People who do not judge. People who have an opinion. People who live to know what life is for. And you.

Instant Comfort

Mom to the Screaming Masses always has great creative writing ideas over at her blog. Today's is a list of things that give you instant comfort.

Here is my comforting list-
1. Knowing God's grace is more forgiving than my scale or my friends2. My Newlywed Hubby's smile in the morning complete with bed head and sheet lines on his cheeks from the pillows3. Hugs from my daddy (something a girl doesn't outgrow)4. Baby giggles, excited kicking and big eyed wonder5. Cool autumn night breezes over my fluffy down comforter and squishy pillows6. Musicals that you can sing all the words to7. The hallmark channel when no one else is home8. Pepsi with lots of ice9. Old pictures that make you smile like you were there even if you weren't 10. Life stories and child hood memories11. Cream tuna on toast (recipe available on my blog tomorrow)12. Hot showers with no time limit13. Positive bank account balances14. Dinner with friends15. The smell of a clean house

Love God With All Your Mind

The Monte Vista Chapel's Women's Book Club started this week. We'll be meeting once a month (each time at a different members house) and reading books about philosophy, religion, apologetics, relativism etc. The first book we'll be reading is J.P. Moreland's "Love God With All Your Mind".
The following is a review of the book from Amazon:
The mind plays an important role in Christianity. Unfortunately, many of us leave our minds behind when it comes to our faith.
In Love Your God with All Your Mind, J.P. Moreland presents a logical case for the role of the mind in spiritual transformation. He challenges us to develop a Christian mind and to use our intellect to further God's kingdom through evangelism, apologetics, worship, and vocation.
If you are interested in joining the book club you can sign up on Monte Vista Chapels website or by letting myself or Nicole know. Our next meeting will be on November 7th. We;ve got about 6 group members already but I think that all women could gain from having an educated response to apologetic arguments. If anyone has any questions just let me know... I'm just getting the word out.

That thing

They keep asking questions... blaming me for my feelings, making it my fault that I can't be involved. Why didn't you call? Why didn't you ask? Why didn't you do that thing?

Oh... that thing... why didn't you just say so... that thing that didn't work last time. I didn't do it because it didn't work. It hasn't worked all the times that we've tried it.

We believed in it to you know. It didn't last. It was philosophy and politics not policy and practice. Nothing came from it.

You got it off your chest, the baggage off your back and we picked it up and carried it home with us. We piled it up in the corner and resolved not to do it. Because we believed. We sat there and wondered about how great it would be if it worked.

And then? Then we stopped... we stopped talking about you, we stopped absently letting people feel not involved... we tried it. We watched. We watched as other people immediately went back to doing the same thing. We watched as people got left out. Not just any people...us.

We watched ourselves become the new thing to talk about, the new inconvenience. We wondered first what we'd done; then we wondered what we could do. We called and we talked, we explained, we were careful not to write things, say things, or do things and we became a part of the shadows and the silence.

No one missed us. Or if they didn't they never called, they never tried, they never explained. We were suddenly there like a coffee table and a chair, nothing needed from us, nothing expected from us, if we were gone people sat elsewere they found other places to set there things. We were just a prop...no longer part of the party but instead part of the decoration.

Parties are more people. They would think to invite us because we were more...not part... just filler for an empty room. We were a mere technicality, a statistic... no one talked to the statistic no one wondered what the technicality thought. We became someone else.

Abuse is something people notice but neglect we can look at neglect and say we never meant to cause it. We didn't know. Someone should have said something. But neglect it flies by blindly until there is nothing but a layer of dust to show that time has passed and it has been occuring all along.

Abandoned in the dust we lost our voice. We assumed that to love well would be to forgive and say nothing.

We became nothing... not sad or happy, not alive or dead we became lost...
and no one was looking to find us.