One of the hardest parts about being on the hunt for a job while having a new baby is the fact that you always feel guilty about cheating someone. I'm always juggling something...sometimes multiple somethings at the same time. I hate to juggle but I'm really good at it and then I get so used to juggling that I forget that I always had the option to just set everything down and take a good look at it before I decide which things are worth keeping my hands full.
I think most mom's feel that way. It doesn't matter if you're staying home or going to work. I also think that if you are staying home you secretly sometimes day dream about going back to work and if you're at work it's natural to zone out thinking about how nice it would be to just be home. It's the same way looking for a job. Each posting I look at I day dream for a second about what it will be like to work there and what it will be like not to be home with the baby all day. It's my little fantasy world where I get a shower before my husband comes home from work and where my ass looks great in my slacks and high heels. Then someone in the next room needs me and I move on.
I feel like I've been just rolling with the punches lately and last night I had a nice long talk with the hubby. Like most female driven talks it was mostly me crying about things he can't fix and him wishing he could fix things beyond his control. Then I got up this morning and I started moving on. That's what us mom's do. For a second I stopped juggling and now... I've picked a few things worth keeping my hands full and I'll be working with those.
1 comment:
One of the things I miss about working is the feeling that I'm my own person. Here at home, I'm constantly attached to a child. Someone is always touching me or needing me or begging for my attention. I miss working because I could be an adult with tasks that don't involve detergent, diapers or nipples. I'm getting bitter, and that probably means I need a break or a hobby or something.
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