Sunday, February 28, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
This time I started off my pregnancy on the heavier side of my normal weight flux. I then proceeded to lose almost 27 lbs in the first half of my pregnancy. Even with the 4 lbs I put back on. I'm still 23 lbs lighter than I started. That means my "maternity" clothes are clothes that I have pretty much always had. I still wear the same size of pants and finally at almost 8 months along I don't have to wear a belt anymore to keep them up. *yes I had to wear a belt around my baby belly for several months*
I know you've all heard this before. The thing is now that I am VERY pregnant looking...Anyah sits so high that I can still wear my pants but my shirts look totally wrong so I had to get a few dresses and I broke out 2 old maternity shirts from last time.
The thing is... I don't know what to pack for the hospital. I mean if I drop weight like I did with Layla from labor... I don't have any pants small enough to wear home and wearing a dress while recovering from a c-section might be a little akward.
The things that do require work those are requiring lists otherwise I worry about getting them done. Or worse yet, sometimes I forget to do things all-together. So at the moment I'm all about the dreaded list.
I have a list of lists in my purse. Then I have the actual lists themselves.
I'm a 7 step program away from being a list-a-holic.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Jon let me sleep in this morning and when I got up he had made cinnamon rolls, so the house smelt yummy. He went back to bed a bit ago to catch some sleep he's lost this week and when he wakes up I'm going to try and get him to help me with some nesting projects. Our house is a mess.
Now that it's almost my baby shower and my maternity leave paperwork is filled out and the c-section is scheduled with a pre-op arranged... I suddenly feel like I have NOTHING ready. I don't have a hospital bag. I don't have a diaper bag. I don't have a crib set up or the dresser where I want it. Layla isn't ready.
I'm 30 weeks along (give or take) and the only thing that's where it's supposed to be at this point is the giant baby belly that is going to get in my way while I try and nest today. There is something about having a 2 year old that keeps you from ever being able to keep anything organized. I don't know how people do it.
I clean up something, then her nap ends and 5 minutes later you can't even tell I had ever cleaned it up in the first place.
Last night I had a nightmare that I came home from the hospital from having Anyah and Mom had been watching Layla at the house and the whole place was destroyed and I had to clean 3 days post op. I know it's just that little voice in the back of my head whispering "you can't handle this" and it has me dancing with anxiety...which is not nearly as cute as the pajama dance.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Part of it is that Mommy is pregnant, tired and had been sick so she wasn't being as hard core of a "right is right and wrong is wrong" Mommy as she used to be. Part of it was Daddy picking up Mommy's slack, trying to keep me in one piece and suddenly getting more hours at work. Part of it was every one is sick and Layla cut her toddler molars. Part of it was that Nannie was watching Layla more and more and Nannie is a sucker...and not just any sucker but one of those giant swirly ones you can only get at theme parks. (love you mom...really...)
So in 2 months we've gone from calm and well behaved 95 % of the time to 80% of the time. While that's still less drama then some other kids I know... it's driving me CRAZY. Soon they are going to have to lock me in a padded room and feed me nothing but jell-o...that kind of crazy.
After the 2 hour plus fit over the toddler wanting to be the boss of us earlier this week there was a line in the sand at our house...a BIG line... it might be a fault line. I'm just saying.
Thusly...now there are rules. Some of them are rules we had before that just have to get reinforced. some of them are new rules that Mommy and Daddy decided life would be better with. It boils down to seven life skill type rules I think every kid needs to have.
1. The toddler is not the boss of us. (Alternately titled-respect your elders and for the love of GOD stop whining and screaming)
2. Follow the daily routine (Layla was doing so well when things always went in the same order with the same rules every day)
3. Clean up after yourself. (New rule- new era...with a baby coming I could use a tiny helper)
4. Eat Smart. (Old rule, long since forgotten by every single person in this house who is EXHAUSTED which I think is all of us)
5. Praise happy toddlers! (I used to hear a lot more praise and a lot less *NO STOP* *LAYLA GRACE* *ONE....two...THREE* and this rule was created because I think it's the first step in having a child behave well is to treat them like they are good when they are good)
6. Learning is fun. (Layla thrives at some things and struggles with others so this will be about focusing time on the things that matter most)
7. Mommy and Daddy get the final veto. (this is a lot like rule #1 but involves getting active support from the Grandparents because sometimes the tiny rules that grandparents break haunt us FOREVER or so it appears)
So why am I posting this here? Well mostly to hold myself accountable. I also sent a copy to my mom (so she can work with us) and I am printing a few out to post up around my house to keep Jon, Nannie and I focused on the daily aspect of going back to the land of calm.
The printout is much more detailed and each rule is a paragraph long with explainations but I didn't want to bore the internet with that...
So ask me how we did in a month would you?
Thursday, February 18, 2010
So now I'm up and staring at a blurry computer screen while Jon watches Supernatural and wishing I was asleep. I hate it when that happens.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
We woke up to sunshine through the window in the bedroom and cuddled through one book, 3 songs and about 15 minutes of poking a pregnant woman and telling her to get up!
We ate eggs and drank apple juice while watching Sesame Street (again)
There was a trip to the store and McDonald's for lunch.
We played with the screen door open and she yelled at the lawn service people telling them they did a "good job".
Naptime took longer than expected and then lasted longer than normal.
Then there was more playing and yelling "ta-da!" and shooting Mommy with a penguin happy meal toy while dinner was in the oven.
There was t-shirts and jeans, hear in buns, pictures to post on blogs and even a little dancing to the radio.
Today is what happens when you plan ahead and then the plan gets blown away.
Sometimes Daddy comes home sick, sometimes the baby cries in the grocery store, sometimes Mommy pulls a muscle getting out of the car, and sometimes... it's still a good day anyhow.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
I literally had an OBGYN appointment and Valentine's day both sneak up on me while I wasn't looking. It's ok, I've got my eye on Easter so at least when April arrives I should be prepared for that one. But, between now and then we've got all sorts of things on the calendar.
March brings my baby shower, my co-worker/work baby shower, my birthday (along with a few other birthdays) and St. Patrick's Day (oh green beer, I will miss you).
Speaking of my birthday. I recently got a request for gift ideas. So um...
Old Navy Giftcards for clothing to be purchased after Anyah comes. I'm already down almost 2 pant sizes without giving birth...so I know I'll need new pants at the very least once the baby comes.
NCIS or Gilmore Girl seasons on DVD. We don't have cable and I'm about to be home ALOT.
Some spa time, I could definitely use a hair color touch up, a pedicure, and an eyebrow wax before I have a baby and people start taking my picture a lot.
Gift cards for places to go eat. The more pregnant I get the less I want to cook.
How pathetic is that list? Very. But the truth is... I have a wonderful daughter and a wonderful daughter on the way and my focus is on the little things.
The result is we now know I'm a little dialated (1 to 1 1/2 inches) and that I have a date for my C-section.
We're looking at May 6th... exceptions of course would be if Anyah decides she'd like to make a natural arrival earlier (in which case we'll have an emergency c-section with no notice) or the date could move up 1 more week if my blood pressure gets worse or we have another complication.
But May 6th... at the latest.
Also, due to high blood pressure concerns my OBGYN thinks it would be best to pull me out of work at 36 weeks. That means I have less than 8 weeks of work left.
Not that I am excited about the loss of income, but I am totally excited about having a little time at home with Layla before Anyah comes, time I can spend mostly in my PJ's...which is also a huge perk.
It was a nice way to end the Tuesday that was my Monday this week. Due to President's Day weekend today was a nightmare at work. It was nice to come home and eat lasagna with my daughter and my hubby while day dreaming about ten new tiny toes.
Monday, February 15, 2010
For Valentine's Day my love bug got a cold bug. Yummy. Snot galore. There was lots of whining. We lived. That was my first day off.
Today, she woke up with a cough and a bad mood to match. Eventually, we reached a content toddler level ground but it was HOURS after we got out of bed. She's still in her pjs.
Thanks to my mom stopping by yesterday morning I did manage to sort some baby clothing. I never did make it to Target though.
Yesterday afternoon we had visits from George (Layla's Godfather) and Papa Glen and Teri to see Layla for Valentine's day. Papa and Teri stayed for dinner.
This morning I managed to catch up the dishes. Ironically, last night Teri started doing dishes and I never went to see what she was doing. She ended up rewashing some clean dishes that were still in the dishwasher with the dirty ones from dinner. (In her defense our dishwasher sucks so a few of the dishes probably didn't look clean which always makes one leary)
Jon works this evening and my work week picks back up bright and early tomorrow morning when Tuesday will have the displeasure of being the new Monday.
Well at least I didn't have to use my 1 accrued sick day to take care of my daughter.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
It doesn't require a florist, chocolates in a heart shaped box or a red/pink outfit.
It doesn't ask you to spend your money, your time, or your hard earned happiness on searching out that last.perfect.wonderful. item that you didn't know you needed to get until you saw it.
Love is moments
And I assure you they aren't the planned ones.
So hug a florist if you want to. Get a hallmark card. Buy some chocolates. Make a date.
Because when love finds you, it won't be because the day had a heart around it on your calender.
And that's coming from someone who kissed her husband for the first time on valentine's day. Because what was love then... well it can't even add up to what love is like now that we've had thousands of moments to cultivate it.
Happy Valentine's Day!
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Here is mine.
dove milk chocolate
watching anyah roll around in my tummy
the way my toddler says the word sorry
my borderline hippie husband
pedicures i don't have to pay for
pepsi with lots of ice
music that makes you want to move
squishy soft bedroom pillows
girlfriends who understand what you mean when you say the wrong thing
the sound of a baby singing herself to sleep
visits from friends
my dad's laugh
the way having your mommy around makes you feel safer even if you're not
stories that are still funny the 3rd time you hear them
co-sleeping in the family bed
the smell of new baby and dreft detergent
chocolate mice from the local bakery
toddlers who aren't scared of anything
jeans that fit
MAC N5 studio fix concealer
the way my wedding ring has made a perminent indentation in my finger
baked potato soup
when my husband and I talk all witty and sarcastic to each other
when layla pretends to be a puppy
singing along with the radio
margaritas at midnight
festivals and fairs
I'll add more later... I can think of thousands of things...this is fun and uplifting, you should try it.
Friday, February 12, 2010
I bought cupcakes. Happy heart day. Take it or leave it.
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
Monday, February 08, 2010
Sunday, February 07, 2010
Exceptions to this are my days off. The first day off every week is usually spent trying to reclaim my house. The upside to free childcare is that it's free. The downside is it takes place in your home and because you're not paying for it you can't exactly say...excuse me can you please start picking up after yourselves. So most weeks by Saturday/Sunday my house is a mess. Jon and I both do damage control during the week but a once a week overhaul is usually necessary. I also do baby laundry and at least 2 loads of dishes. Dishes are something that I loathe.
I usually try and make a real breakfast for Layla on my day off. Eggs and sausage or pancakes and sausage are our favorites. I attempt to spent a little time actually playing with my kid (today we busted out the chalkboard already). We watch movies while we eat and usually as a result of picking up and trying to get things done I nap when she naps.
The first day off doesn't really feel like a day off. That's actually my "issue" with the way my work does weekend rotation. On my weekends off I get 2 days in a row (Saturday and Sunday) but on my weekends on I get split days off (Sunday and Wednesday). Usually with my day off during the week I end up scheduling appointments and so those days stay pretty busy. My catch up day ends up being Sunday and I end up feeling like I had no days off. I usually don't get to sleep in at all on my 4 weeks without Saturdays and I can't exactly catch up with my friends when I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off.
Don't get me wrong. I'm greatful to have a job, especially one with good insurance since I have a baby on the way. I just wish everyone always got 2 days off in a row. I think it would increase our rest and help us to help the people we're working with better. But that's just me.
As I sit here thinking about how much I feel like I never have time to rest I wonder how much moer complicated my life is about to get. Soon there will be a baby in this mix. Spiritually that is exhausting for me to think about. I feel stretched thin already, I don't know how much farther I can pull. Today I woke up cranky and then the morning was rough and I can't imagine having this bad of a morning while breastfeeding an infant every few hours.
Egads, what did I get myself into.
Saturday, February 06, 2010
The hardest part of Saturday for me is the fact that I usually get home AT dinnertime and I have to rush from work to making the toddler something to eat and as soon as she's eaten she's all full of energy and I'm ready for a nap.
I'm cranky and she's acting like she's on crack. I feel bad for Jon.
Thursday, February 04, 2010
Ten weeks doesn't seem like enough time. I guess it was the pregnant belly that never really grew but I just feel like I am not even half way done and I'm almost 2/3's of the way done.