The Cycle of Mornings

Most mornings I get up in the cloak of darkness, stumble to the bathroom and get ready for work while making as little noise as possible. Then I make my way downstairs in the dark and turn on the kitchen light while I try to talk myself into making a lunch for work. When that's done I sit in my favorite chair and wait for it to be time to go to work. Sometimes if I work the later shift (on Saturdays) I throw into the mix entertaining Layla while she tries to mimic everything I do in the bathroom mirror and runs circles around me until Nannie shows up to watch her.

Exceptions to this are my days off. The first day off every week is usually spent trying to reclaim my house. The upside to free childcare is that it's free. The downside is it takes place in your home and because you're not paying for it you can't exactly say...excuse me can you please start picking up after yourselves. So most weeks by Saturday/Sunday my house is a mess. Jon and I both do damage control during the week but a once a week overhaul is usually necessary. I also do baby laundry and at least 2 loads of dishes. Dishes are something that I loathe.

I usually try and make a real breakfast for Layla on my day off. Eggs and sausage or pancakes and sausage are our favorites. I attempt to spent a little time actually playing with my kid (today we busted out the chalkboard already). We watch movies while we eat and usually as a result of picking up and trying to get things done I nap when she naps.

The first day off doesn't really feel like a day off. That's actually my "issue" with the way my work does weekend rotation. On my weekends off I get 2 days in a row (Saturday and Sunday) but on my weekends on I get split days off (Sunday and Wednesday). Usually with my day off during the week I end up scheduling appointments and so those days stay pretty busy. My catch up day ends up being Sunday and I end up feeling like I had no days off. I usually don't get to sleep in at all on my 4 weeks without Saturdays and I can't exactly catch up with my friends when I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off.

Don't get me wrong. I'm greatful to have a job, especially one with good insurance since I have a baby on the way. I just wish everyone always got 2 days off in a row. I think it would increase our rest and help us to help the people we're working with better. But that's just me.

As I sit here thinking about how much I feel like I never have time to rest I wonder how much moer complicated my life is about to get. Soon there will be a baby in this mix. Spiritually that is exhausting for me to think about. I feel stretched thin already, I don't know how much farther I can pull. Today I woke up cranky and then the morning was rough and I can't imagine having this bad of a morning while breastfeeding an infant every few hours.

Egads, what did I get myself into.