Sunday, May 31, 2009

Baby Sign

I wasn't much on the whole "baby sign" gig when I first started being a parent but Mel was watching Layla at the time and they did a few signs... if I remember correctly it was all done and eat at first.

So as time goes on, Layla picks up new signs from things Jon, Erin and I do and from things we actually teach her. Now we've got signs that accompany a lot of the words that Layla says. The two most common ones which she likes to use with grandparents and Daddy are for things she has words for.
So first she says "eat"
Then she says "eeeeaaaaatttttT" like you maybe didn't understand her...
Then she does this....

We also have "mo" which is more...

or "ome" which is some...

Or this lovely sign which means I'd like some more drink in my straw cup (complete with fake sucking on her finger)

And for the record we still sign all those first things... like "awl done" (all done) and "stop"...

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Collin's Birthday BBQ

First off, let me start by saying that there are 2 cousin Collin's in Layla's family which is very confusing for her (when we do names and pictures) and for other people when I write blogs. Today was little Collin's birthday. That's my cousin's son... who turned the big ONE!

I didn't post any pictures of Collin because I didn't ask his mommy...and because I only took 1 and it wasn't that great. But, here is a great one with Great Grandpa Kenneth.

The BBQ was hot and our visit was short because Layla is well into her terrible 2 phase and the tantrum throwing over not being able to swim in the pool or throw rocks in the grass was too much. I told her "one more and we're going home" and then I took her home, because I'm a Mommy of my word. We didn't get to say goodbye, eat, have cake or see presents, Layla just couldn't handle it and neither could I (given my past week)
She had some cheetos, played with another cute little girl until she started breaking rules and being a pain in the neck. She wouldn't really pose for pictures but I did get this one somewhere in the cheeto eating...
Once we got home she had another tantrum because she wanted her shoes off then she took herself upstairs and put herself down for a nap...which is good, because if she didn't I would have.

I mean doesn't that look like someone who needs a nap?

Remind me again...

Why do I keep trying when no one else bothers to put forth an effort?

Work 4 it!

Back in place

I am back at work full time and so is Jon. This is my first Saturday off in my 4 week rotation but he works today. I have a birthday party for a 1 year old to take Layla to today and I am not entirely sure I am ready to chase a baby around in 100 degree heat by myself yet. Don't get me wrong, the bleeding has all but stopped I just still tire easily and I am still emotional.

Things seem to be slipping back to normal with only being occasionally haunted by remembering something someone said or did. I remember things in strange moments, at the grocery store, on the phone talking about something unrelated and I worry about money a lot now.

So is the way with anxiety, but they make pills for that which I am not too proud to use. I admit, I am broken but for the sake of Layla I do my best to appear whole.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

My old blog wasn't about you but this is

So the last time I miscarried I had about 6 girls that I hung out with a lot. After the stress that miscarriage puts on relationships... I talk to 2 of them sometimes and I don't talk to the rest. That's mainly what my last blog was about.

This time around I had 2 girlfriends that I talk to a lot. One I've talked to everyday and the other one got hit my the rough spot tidal wave.

Now, hopefully neither one gets offended by this next statement but I thought their roles would have been switched. The one that stuck around us very pregnant and I would have totally understand if she went into hiding but she didn't. Which makes me proud and it also makes me cherish her even more. The other one spent a lot of time talking to me about how crappy it was last time when friends vanished so I thought she'd be a constant ring on my phone. Not so much.

Ironically the men I know and my cousins who I don't talk to too much all got in contact, as did both our dad's and one grandpa and one male cousin. Totally didn't expect that.

I've really got to stop trying to have expections during the unexpected.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

What breaks a friendship

I have learned in my adult life that most friendships that break are broken by one of a few things.

Someone lies/or someone tells the truth and it hurts the other person.

Sometimes someone can't stop taking advantage of someone else and eventually the person uses up all of the other person's grace and forgiveness.

People grow apart as their morals, ethics and values advance with age.

I've heard people say that eventually they got tired of someone else's emotional drain or drama queen antics but those seem less "forever".

But, talking with a friend yesterday we determined that out of all the things that can break a friendship beyond repair is abandoning someone in a crisis or blowing your cool because they are in over their head in life.

I don't know that that's always true for me because I can be pretty forgiving. But, I can think of a few people who bit off an issue in the heat of crisis that I've never trusted again. For every person like that though I have a well intentioned person that I have been able to let back in. Some of those people took longer to forgive than others but it usually happens.

And you know what? I have no idea what the difference between column a and column b is. Weird right? I mean you'd think with as many people as I've had kick me while I was down in my life I'd have figured out the line between the one's who got my Christian grace and the one's who got an Aries verbal firefight or the brick wall later at shared social events.

How about you? Are you forgiving or do you hold a grudge? What turns the tide for you in a friendship? How do you determine what is ok and what isn't when it comes to drama?

Oh what a beautiful morning

Layla woke up this morning when Jon was getting ready for work. 330 am until Jon left around 4 we snuggled in bed. On his way downstairs to leave I had Jon swing into our room and take Layla back to her bed. She proceeded to sleep until 8 am. I checked on her at 7 and 730 because I was so shocked.

When she came to my room at 8 she had her stuffed cow and 2 of her 3 stuffed little bears. She put them in my bed and climbed up and pulled up a horse book which I read when she asked "ree me mommy". Then she pretended to read it to me. "rity outside rity hosies rity red" she said as she turned the pages. Her little story almost made sense if you saw pretty horses in fields one of which had a red saddle.

After a new diaper we came downstairs and she asked "eat" so I got her a bottle of milk and sat her on the kitchen counter where she sorted the change cup while I made pancakes.

Then I said "ok time to eat get in your chair" so she scooted to the counters edge and then I put her on the floor. Tiny feet clapped to the tables edge and then she climbed on to a chair, across the table and into her seat. She grabbed her fork and started eatting with a hearty "mmm good".

After beakfast and a solid "awl dones" we went to the living room and with great joy she told me "play cards a movie" and grabbed her flash cards and settled into her movie spot. When I pulled out dvds she told me "cars mommy a cars" so I stuck in cars and when it started she clapped.
Now she's watching a movie and I am sitting here thinking about the leaps and strides she's made this month. Sentences replaced single words and a pride in being able to communicate things is evident in her giggles when she tells you things. Suddenly she became a little girl who dances to music, gets silly when she's tired and wants to be a princess when she grows up.

And the phase we're in now, it's adorable. I get true loves kiss before I go bye bye and a hug when I get home. And just when I think she's sweet enough to eat she does something unpredictable and sassy.

Like yesterday, when she pretended to grab my itsy bitsy spider mid song... She pretended to put it in her mouth and with smacking and a loud "mmm" pretended to eat it so that I would stop singing.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009


There is no upside to miscarrying a baby. But, if there is an upside to this situation I have two things I cling to more than others. One, is my lovely daughter at home, who I love more than life itself and who is great at being distracting because she is so full of life. The other is my full belief that when you miscarry a baby they get to skip all the bad things in life (mean children in your neighborhood, puberty, awkward dates, moments when you and your spouse don't communicate well, sickness, being too poor, broken dreams, retarded family members and shattered expectations) and go directly to the meeting Jesus part where life is filled with only good things. I do believe that my child won't miss out because I'm sure God has some of the good things available in heaven for him/her to try out (love, hope, honesty, support, understanding, pepsi). I also fully believe that I will see them there someday. My time/their time in heaven will be longer than either of our times here on earth and we'll have plenty of time to talk about everything and be together.
On the less "God in ineffable" sort of viewpoint. I also know that sometimes you just have to keep yourself busy and distracted. Yesterday I went to a babyshower and made sure to focus on the baby. Then I went out to dinner with my mom and daughter because I am too strong of a person to just sit at home and cry all the time.
And, because life likes to make things interesting I've also been dealing with a best friend who's freaking out about her while I'm busy trying to worry about me or something like that. Which, I admit, I don't really understand nor have I taken the time to break apart the pieces to figure out. I spend a lot of time right now thinking about "me & mine" and I'll get busy worrying about everything else when I darn well think I can split my focus again. While I do feel bad that she's having a broken moment, I am in the middle of my broken moment and strongly aware that every time I've ever had a broken moment something like this always happens with someone and usually I'm very distracted by it but I'm choosing not to be this time, everybody has drama and I'm sure she's just as knee deep in hers as I am in mine...which is ok for now.

It would be cruel to say that the second miscarriage was the hardest & thusly this one seems easier. The first time you can tell yourself it's a fluke, but by the second one you know it's you and it's probably going to keep happening to you...for whatever reason. But, by the third one, you know the process, I seem to be grieving and working through it at a fast pace moving very quickly from great sadness, to great anger, to actual greiving and now on to trying to reconstruct life. Not for any other reason than I've already worked through most of the issues with my religion, my God and my husband that come from this horrible thing. I know what to expect, for the most part, from my friends and family. And I know what my body is doing and why.
But, I still really wish there was still a baby in there.
**Note I will kill you if you say there is no Pepsi in heaven, it's heaven, there has to be Pepsi.**

Monday, May 25, 2009

1 Step

I'm carrying some people's hope right now. They didn't ask me to, I volunteered. Someone once offered to carry my hope for me when it seemed like too big of a burden and I was sure I couldn't do it on my own.
And now... that moment of no hope dances around my livingroom at night, living proof that God does not foresake us and that even though the tests may be hard and road my be long, we will be ok.
There will be moments with little faith, there will be moments with anger or hate, there will be moments where you wish this was your last moment on earth...but sometimes there will be other moments. Moments when the truth sets you free. Moments when love makes you feel whole. Moments when the light shines so bright you can see a future filled with all the things you have ever hoped for. Moments when something better than you've ever imagined looks back at you through the broken and shattered pieces of what is.
I know a lot about moments.
And, in this moment, I know that there is no such thing as lost hope.

If you need anything call

I was raised with a little stubborn southern woman in the background. My grandmother had a lot of views on a lot of things. Two views I witnessed a lot were visit with love to bring food in a crisis and never just say call if you need anything.

If you say call if need anything in my family it means call if you need anything before I call back or before I stop by again. Not true for a lot of other people I know. People use call if you need anything make themselves feel better, "well I offered but she never asked", but in a crisis most of those people wouldn't want to sit and pick someone to call for help.

Some people are good at follow up. Texts, calls and blackberry messages show me the difference between those who mean "I am here for you" and those who just meant "offering is what I am supposed to do right?"

I am thankful for those who keep checking in, pitching in, and just talking because I wouldn't call for help if I needed it, not because I'm too good for help or your help isn't wanted but because this is hard enough without admitting that embarrassingly enough sometimes you do wish someone else could shoulder the blow.

A special thanks goes out to my hubby who is taking sick days to do my heavy lifting, my mom who kept the baby busy on the bad days, my dad/Jon's dad/George/Jen who kept checking in for updates and offering over and over via text and phone their love support and prayer no matter what else they had going on this weekend in their own lives, and to JB who acted like nothing was wrong to keep me laughing.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

5 pounds

I've lost 5 lbs in the last 24 hours. It hasn't been awful. In fact yesterday was messy but not painful and today is painful but much less messy.

Most of my side of the immediate family made voyages to the house last night to sit and talk. My mom and Teri, my dad's girlfriend, came and kept the baby busy and the house picked up. Jon's dad who was on a road trip called a couple times to check in and i have had several texts from my dad to check in.

I'm going to get out of the house for a bit this evening and tomorrow I have the ultimate test, a baby shower. Life goes on, different but the same.

Saturday, May 23, 2009


We are home. I was lucky to be spared the horrors of a D&C. I will be off work for several days and I don't have the sick time to cover that sort of absence. The lack of income scares me.

I have received already the love, support and prayers of much of our family and I know the next couple days there will be visitors and food.

I can still laugh. In the hospital I tried my best to be stronge and positive so the hospital staff wouldn't have my moment as the scar in their day. I did cry, I will sometimes still. But, I remembered the best tool god gave me, I found joy in that sterile room.

I find joy here too. In my mom's help, my husbands support and my daughter's silly dances.

A life was lost and I grieve it by celebrating it's welcome to heaven with love.

You can blog from the ER

We went to same day care and the Dr who saw how much blood I was loosing there sent me across the street immediately to the ER.

We were immediately taken back. I miscarried at 8 to 10 weeks. I have been poked and prodded. I am now waiting for a sonogram and to see if they need to admit me for a D&C.

I've spent $150 dollars in 2 hours on medical bills. I'll also miss at least 2 work days one of which will be no pay due to a stupid holiday rule regarding sick days.

So much for being caught up financially.


I talked to the after hours on call dr. He said it definitely sounds like a violent early term miscarriage so I'll be at urgent care at 9 am to get a prescription and a note for work.

My mommy is coming. I need to text or call a few select family members but I don't have the strength to type a prayer request yet today.

My heart is broken.

The Rush of Tide

Today I woke up and walked to the bathroom. I reached the tile just in time to have a down pour of blood flow over my pad and on to the floor and literally splash up around my ankles hitting the wall around me and my legs. The only time I've ever done that was the day after I had Layla.

I guess I was pregnant before after all. Fuck me.

I am so taking a sick day. They can fire me if they want. I can't do today, today.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Natures way

I spent a few days thinking I might be pregnant. I finally got up the nerve to take a test and it was a dud. Instead of a plus or a minus I got 2 blank squares. After several other random events distracting me from getting a new test. I woke up in a pool of my own blood. I hate fertility drugs sometimes and how violent and abrupt they make my body.

I find myself thinking a lot about the natural flow of things. Are we, by trying to avoid my early menopause, screwing with the way things should be. We're not waging war for a baby mainly putting a little effort in keeping my body open to the idea but sometimes it feels like a lot of effort.

I wonder what it would be like to be shocked to find a baby growing inside me instead of crushed month after month when one doesn't show up.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

4 letter word rhymes with bunt

Thanks for inviting us on family trips. We appreciate it. You suck. We quit.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009


I had a dream

You where there

I stood in the stream

You had darker hair

I knew your name and your face

I felt instantly in my place

I saw you would be growing
It had to be

You entered my life knowing

So much more than me

But I can remember when you were so small

That doctors with lab tests couldn't see you at all

I knew you weren't missing

I kept telling them so

So they kept on looking

But, what did I know

I couldn't quite tell them it had to be true

After all, all I had was that I dreamed of you.

Monday, May 18, 2009

I am

I am tickle monster. I am dinner maker. I am bath time splasher. I am bedtime taker. I am boo kisses & healed with love. I am time out giver. I am hold my hand. I am dirt pie stirrer & and a chef with sand. I am arts & crafts that never get finished. I am chores with a helper who undoes more than she does. I am pajamas all day with movies to watch. I am trips into town with Miss Dancing Shoes On. I am pancakes on Sunday. & stories at night. I am cuddles in blankets wrapped up just right. I am recycle the package and eat local greens. I am blog the adventure while a camera catches the scene. I am little tiny hair clips pulling bangs from your eyes and pig tails with matching hair ties. I am find the lost paci and remember the cow. I am washer of favorite dresses. I am princess movie dance partner with all the right moves. I am singer of silly songs. I am rock a bye baby humming when you've stayed up too long. I am a baby language translator. I am teacher of everything from numbers to colors to words. I am alphabet songs and flashcards for sorting. I am pretend soup eating & plastic animal herding. I am all the lines learned & the same stories repeated. I am cars that go vroom and fairies who glitter. I am Santa's elf & part of the Easter bunny's litter. I am a constant to do list of new things to try & places to take you when you're old enough to go by. I am family to remember. I am friends to those who stop by. I am playdates, park days & parties to plan. I am never on vacation even when I am. I am always with you. I am always in love. I am mommy & wife & more then I've got room to list above.

My Mother's Day Flowers are Blooming!

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Filled with Life

From the seeds I planted during my green challenge, a lovely little window garden has emerged and the herbs have been lovely in my recipes the last two months. I think the tomato plant is about ready to move outside though, it's sort of taking over.

To do list mommy's

I've never been a to do list mommy. I've never had to schedule in my child or make a list of things to try and work into the day around the chores and the job. So it's no surprise that once I had a baby my house went from spotless to lived in and then as she's gotten older it's went from lived in to slightly haphazard. It's totally worth it most of the time.

This month my mommy of the year inner confidence has been battling over flowing dishes that don't get done, crumbs on the floor, laundry that never gets put away, trash that doesn't get taken out enough and bathrooms that I am ashamed of showering in. I'm just tired this month.
It's so easy to get swept up in running behind and to lose focus and just friday night Jon and I had the talk where he reminded me that part of being a great mom is taking time for yourself without your kid and letting things slide when they aren't really important. But, I still spent part of the work day thinking about all the chores that needed to be done at home and how bitter I was going to be about spending my only weekend day off doing them.

Then I came home. Layla was so happy Saturday. She stayed with Grammi Teri and she talked about all morning this morning, too. Jon said she cried when she left. And my house, she cleaned it. It was wonderful. She also took home her bowl I have had on the counter since December so it could go home with Erin. She rocks.

Now my thoughts of being way behind are mostly gone because my to do list got a lot shorter. And, I also know that Teri is going to have to babysit again soon, not because my house is clean but because layla won't stop talking about balls and shoes and grammi scaries outside pool.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Wondering why?

Why is it other people try to make you feel like crap when they do something crappy to you?

For instance if you don't see someone because of a choice they made but they guilt trip you about it?

Or when you make plans with someone and they decide that hanging out for the whole day means 4 hours and they are going home but later you get to feel like shit because you work and you're busy just like you told them you would be?

Why do people do that?

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Baby's Making Waves

Layla loved her first trip to the ocean. There is video and about 40 pictures up on her site for the people that have access to that sort of thing. Of course I'll post a few here for the rest of you. She loves the water, she loved the traveling, she loved the sand and Mommy/Daddy really benefited from the day out of the house.

Tomorrow we'll all be back to work very early. Mommy's shift start's at 6 am and Daddy's starts at 4:30 am which means by the time Layla rolls out of bed at 6:45 am she'll get to spend a lovely day with Miss Erin.

That day will not include board walks, sandy beaches, splashing in waves, eating gummy star fish, having garlic fries or singing along with the radio in the back seat...hopefully she won't get bored.

As for today...we did all those things and a few more. It will be etched into my memory forever...clearer than any picture we took.

On the road again

Jon and I talked a lot about what road trips would be like once we had a kid. We knew it would be different but we also knew that as much as we loved to be out and about it was going to be something we would be doing.

In the first year of layla's life there was a lot of short trips to local events and festivals and a small road trip to old town. It's time to move beyond that and it never seems to work out when we make plans with other people because we're planners and it never seems easy to get others to stick to the plan and come with a little spending money for an adventure.

So yesterday I was day dreaming about the ocean and when I got home Jon and I made plans for a very low budget trip to the water with layla. Her first trip to the ocean, since we both have today off, will be a midweek jaunt to Santa Cruz.

So far we're halfway there in the car and she's just starting to doze off to the sound of the highway humming by and a tummy full of vanilla scones.

I think this will be a good day.

Monday, May 11, 2009

I'll never be bored

My mom tells me all the time that with a daughter like Layla I'll never be bored. She's right. We live in the land of seldom boring, usually weird, and almost always amusing here at the Jeffery house. It's evident in the silly faces that Layla makes. Because, Jon and I are very animated and
fun people when we tell stories, when we react to sudden unexpected changes and sometimes just because we feel like shaking it up. Jon stuck his tongue out at me while I was walking down the isle at our wedding. I often dance like a disco girl when silly songs play on the TV. And Layla? Well Layla is developing her own little sense of comedy timing. Like this face. Which is what I got when I asked her if she was in water. Appearantly...that was a stupid question, can't you tell by her face?

The Highlight of Mother's Day

Sunday, May 10, 2009

The Reason there is a Mother's Day

I always thought that Mother's day was kind of corny. As a child I took joy in going with my dad to the drug store to pick out a little something for my mommy and making her cards. Then I became a mother and I realized the truth...mother's day isn't about the gifts or's about the love. It's about acknowledging how far you've come and how much work you've done. It's about trying to spend one day marveling in the fact that you really are doing it.'s about laughing about the moments you really didn't pull it off well.

Now that I'm a mommy I appreciate my Mom even more. She's an excellent Nana good at all the bad things...spoiling, giving sips of forbidden foods, silly songs, whispered secrets and shared messes. And she's still a great mom...talking me off the cliff when I come in from the garage to find my child has dumped all the freshly folded laundry on the floor, stolen my soda...sat in the laundry basket and is now shushing me because she's trying to watch a movie when I start freaking out.
So maybe a little part of mother's day is wondering what parts of your mother you'll have when you get old enough to become a grandmother.

The Making of a Mommy

Happy Mother's Day... may you spend today remembering all the little moments that make you more and more a mommy.

Friday, May 08, 2009

Getting Older

I'm getting to that age. The middle age where people think things and there is a part of your brain that goes "nope that's wrong" and no matter what they say about it the whole time your thinking "whatever you're an idiot". I think they call that age motherhood.
Suddenly she's not some little baby that I'm worried about breaking or accidently scarring forever. Now she's a little person and people are something that I am totally comfortable with so when people start telling me that they know up from down and I'm upside down I suddenly have no problem telling them where to stick it.
And, I must not be doing too badly because she is confident and funny and social and most of the time pretty well behaved. So now I work on the opposite end of the parenting I started with. Now instead of worrying someone will say something to me, I worry about saying something offensive to someone else. And, as a result I keep my mouth shut most of the time.
But, I really have something I want to say. At least this month I have something I want to say. So what do you think internets...would you say it?

Writer's Block

Neil Gaiman once said "You get ideas from daydreaming. You get ideas from being bored. You get ideas all the time. The only difference between writers and other people is we notice when we're doing it. "

I'm six chapters into a book that I was once 10 chapters into but then I deleted 4 chapters and took a different direction due to an unfailing belief that sometimes the best things you will ever write happen when your just clicking away at a keyboard and not thinking about it and that sometimes in that same scenario you just click out crap no one wants to waste time with. I had done the second.

In the first six chapters a well defined character develops, she creates lasting bonds with other characters and they set off on an adventure and if I could just stop the book there I would...because let me tell you that at this point it's a fundamentally awesome book.

But, as it so happens a 6 chapter long book probably wouldn't sell much, what with people being found of spending $7.95 at the local Target for something with a beginning, a middle and most importantly for most of END.

I have a middle. It dances around in my mind when I am nearly asleep or too busy to type (what with bouncing annoyed toddlers on my hip and fighting my bill collectors at bay through the front door screen while trying to avoid being dripped on by unknown sources of water while being bitter about having a broken tooth and talking on the phone all day).

But the end....oh the end... is it a romance? Is it just a story? Is it a drama? Or just a fishing rod? I could take it so many ways and I just can't day dream any one that is better than any other...

And so... I wait.

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Me & James

I wish my life were less in need of James Allen quotes but I find myself thinking of them often now-a-days when life keeps testing me and I keep failing. There are moments when they just pop up in front of me and I sort of giggle to myself.

When I want to ripe into the girl at the cell phone company for making an unbelievable commitment to make feel like sh*t for just asking questions & I fit the urge until we get off the phone remaining civil to the very end...

Circumstances do not make the man, they reveal him.

When my husband and I get into a "what if" conversation about the future which for him is just blowing smoke and being chill and for me is the small glimmer of hope and I spend the next two days wondering beyong wonder if we could really pull it off someday...

Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so you shall become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.

When I have trouble staying motivated at work because my manager has no idea what sort of things make me want to take ownership in the things I do and things around me that could make the company I work for great...

For true success ask yourself these four questions: Why? Why not? Why not me? Why not now?

And then there are those moments in the dead of night when I can't sleep and my thoughts drag me down wicked roads into wild games I do not wish to play and I lay in the darkness trying to remind myself...

A man has to learn that he cannot command things, but that he can command himself; that he cannot coerce the wills of others, but that he can mold and master his own will: and things serve him who serves Truth; people seek guidance of him who is master of himself.

And the moments just like now when I wonder if I'll ever be able to be creative and fun and wonderful again. When I wonder how much longer I will be tested by pink bills and last minute suprises in my budget...

If you real desire is to be good, there is no need to wait for the money before you do it; you can do it now, this very moment, and just where you are.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Even Idina Couldn't Sing This Away

I admit it, I download Idina Menzel songs. I know. The shame. But, she's got a few of those feel good, empowering songs that every girls should keep in her music library. I especially like "I stand" and "Brave".

Today I have the day off. I am enjoying the irony of spending my day off being bitter that I have a tooth that is broken in my mouth and can only find 1 dentist that takes the two dental insurances that I pay for and he can't see me until next Wednesday. This makes me bitter for many reasons...I hate the dentist, and it gives me anxiety. My mouth hurts. By Wednesday the problem might solve itself.

I was going to go to Old Navy and the library but find myself stuck at home waiting for my mom to call because I really need to talk to her but she appearantly only checks her email now at 4 am and I can't call her because my cell phone is off until Thursday at least and my house phone doesn't have long distance.

This also means I can't go see my BFF the day before she leaves and I can't call to tell her why.

So I guess I'll just read FML and wish I could take a shower instead of being stuck here waiting for my kid to nap with nothing to read, no one I can call and a throbbing face.

Sunday, May 03, 2009


On Friday afternoon layla spilt a suppy cup all over her lap. On my way upstairs I felt something wet hit my arm but quickly disregarded it as wet baby dripping and went upstairs to change her. Ten minutes later on my way downstairs without a toddler in hand I got hit by another drip so I turned to look at the top of the stairs to see if perhaps Jon was spraying me as a joke or if maybe layla had figured out how to spit downhill. Nothing.

So I looked up.

There I found a seeping wet ceiling and water making it's way both down my walls and dripping on to my carpet. *sigh*

Two calls with the landlord, a couple of meetings with the complex manager who lives next door and one roof specialist (who by the way says there is no issue with the roof) and now all I have is a hypothetically problem with my fire sprinklers, a future unknown date with a construction person who might put a hole in my roof and no good reason why sprinklers would leak only on rainy days.

Oh and a bitchin set of water stained walls.

Lucky me

Foot in my mouth

Friday night my mom volunteered to watch Layla so the hubby and I could go out to dinner as adults. We had a great dinner and then I suggested that we take the $100 giftcard I had won at work and go spend it at the Target on things we needed at home and a birthday present for my nephew who will be 3 soon (god we're old).

At Target I also found 1 last pair of adorable brown baby sandals with blue flowers on them and the last pair just happened to be a size 5 which is Layla's size. So I made the $7 splurge.

Two days later I cut off the tags and put them on her feet to find they are huge! The hanger and stickers and tags all say 5 but after looking closer the number on the bottom of the shoe is actually an 8!

Guess now we know what Layla's sandals will look like next year. In the meantime she seems to be enjoying pulling them on and off and stomping around in them.