Thursday, December 31, 2009
I wanted to take a moment to properly introduce myself. Last year, I think that I got off on the wrong foot with 2009 and it was never the same after that. Turns out there is really something to be said for getting your foot in the door right off the bat. So I figured I'd take a few minutes and let you know a little bit about me.
Your seedy cousin "2009" or the "09" as he liked to be called was sort of a bully. While most of my battle scars from interacting with him have healed I'm still a little tender to the touch. I took my licks like a good girl though so I hope you can see that I've been whipped into shape and no further training from you on "obedience" will be needed.
I'm actually very excited about meeting you. I see your resume and the words "new decade" fill me with hope. You've got all sorts of potential. It's not every day that a person comes across a whole new decade. You could do so much with the time you've been given and that's exciting. But, I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that.
As for me, I am excited to start a working relationship with a year that understands me. I like change and challenges just as much as the next gal but I can see you relate to my need for some stability and tradition. I'm looking forward to small victories and quality time with my family.
Hopefully, this year will bring job changes, life changes and a few thousand diaper changes (withhout any blow outs). I'd like to think that this year we will have the opportunity to turn our little family unit over from survival mode to celebration mode.
Already it's looking better. How could it not... I mean you... you look amazing. I'm not just saying that because I want you to like me either. I am not that kind of girl.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Stars Hollow is some place I would love to live. Everyone knows everyone, there is a huge sense of community involvement and everyone has a best friend...if not a few best friends. As someone who formally had a huge circle of friends and now has like 2 or 3 people I talk to on a regular basis, the appeal of a magical TV community that gathers around when times are tough seems well...magical.
So while my daughter wishes she was a fairy in Pixie Hollow and spends her spare time practicing her Tinkerbelle angry face I can relate, because even at 30 I have a Hollow of my own I'd like to visit.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
As with most things, as the worry gets easier, the pregnancy itself gets more um...trying. I am enjoying Anyah's movements and her fiesty desire to only kick me when I have to pee and have no way to get up from my desk at work and go. It's like she knows.
I am not enjoying the fact that my whole body is sort of itchy (which last time led to turning yellow and having a baby very early) or that I have pregnancy insomnia because I can't stay comfortable. I wake up at least once an hour all night long and I'm so over that already.
On other happy notes, I've managed to avoid any further edema by being very selective of what I eat and how much water I drink. Basically, I got over being so sick I couldn't move and now that I am taking the time to listen to what my body naturally tells me, it's telling me that putting my feet up isn't nearly as helpful as eating a lot more fruits and veggies.
And so that's where we are at... I am trying to teach Layla to say Anyah. She's stubborn about doing things when you ask her to so I figure it will take the next 4 months. At least it will give me something to do so I can distract myself from the nesting urge to purge half the things we own to make room for a tiny human.
Monday, December 28, 2009
We were blessed that a friend of ours no longer needed his wireless router so Jon hooked that up for me last night and now I have the ability to do some awesome things, like blog on a regular basis while the baby plays or to let Layla skype with her cousins in South Carolina. I'm very excited.
Now while you might see the words "new laptop" and think how the heck can you get a new laptop and have a bah humbug Christmas let me just say that how you feel about what happens to the people you love can have a HUGE effect on how you feel about everything that happens to you. Now I know that Jon will eventually get a very late Christmas gift and I know that people out there might have it worse than me. That doesn't make my suck feelings about Christmas any less sucky.
But, Christmas is over. I packed it up yesterday while Layla spent the day being spoiled by Grandparents and eating things that kept her cranked up until passed bedtime. I put it away and looked at my sparse shelf tops and clean floors and a huge sigh of relief could be felt through my entire being.
I then sat in my rocking chair and watched a DVD or two and waited for Anyah to move in my belly (she doesn't move nearly as much as Layla did so I have to be VERY patient) and then we had dinner while the baby tried to spread a thin layer of plastic toys across my newly cleaned floor. It was my kind of evening.
This week is a short week at work and I'll be back on the phones so I am glad about the shortness of it all. I have my regularly scheduled day off (Wed) and I also get off Friday for New Year's. We actually have plans this year...weird.
I am feeling better. Not enough better that I will say that I am well but enough better that I don't feel like an OBGYN should have Anyah on a monitor to make sure I am not killing her by coughing both of us to death.
I am thankful for those who kept us in their prayers during the WORST month. I am also thankful for a new decade and a new year which are just around the corner because I am hopeful that we have finally earned ourselves a good one.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
There were great moments where Layla opened gifts and ohhh'ed and awww'ed and those moments were magical but mixed in with those moments were things like my Dad being over an hour late for Christmas dinner because of someone else's actions. Moments where the baby turned off the oven mid way through making the turkey and I wasn't sure how much longer it needed to cook because I didn't know when it got turned off.
Guess what? It never ends. Layla who skipped a nap was completely over being awake by 6:30 so we went to bed. I couldn't catch my breath from coughing so I went downstairs around 7:30 to get some cough syrup while she was sleeping. She rolled off the bed. DRAMA! There was crying and vomiting and lots and lots of "daddy no go" and eventually around 9 she was all the way asleep and I could go to sleep.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Mark Christmas off the calender... it's time to be finished.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
The thing is...I think people force their kids to do a lot of things they aren't ready to do. I also thing parents force kids to do things because they like them or believe in them when really they just don't matter that much. So your kid wants to wear a different jacket. Ok, it's a jacket, take the spare in the car just in case she's/cold and get over your concept that the little darling was going to match tonight. It's a battle not worth fighting.
I pick my battles.
Not to say Layla has never been forced to do something she doesn't want to do. But, usually we work with her to gradually work her into it and she knows that she can take a moment or two to buck an idea if she needs to and that I will listen and try to work around it to the best of my abilities.
I feel there is a huge difference between teaching your child obedience and teaching your child to conform to every rule. Some rules apply to everyone but sometimes, it's just not for you and I get that. I want my child to know she can contest things she doesn't believe in. I want her to know her opinion matters even though she's only 2. I want a child who doesn't feel forced to do what all the other kids do just because someone said that's what people do.
And I try to use what I know about my child to keep her from being in situations where she has to overcome being overwhelmed.
Last night we skipped Layla's Preschool Christmas Concert because half the house wasn't feeling well and the other half really just needed some time to run around in her pjs and decompress from a day at preschool. Preschool saps Layla's spirit sometimes. They force her to do things she is not willing to do. Friday they tried to force her to nap even though they knew Nana was going to be there at noon to pick her up, and she spent the rest of the day acting out. While every kid needs to nap, and we do have a nap schedule at school and home that match, I think forcing a screaming kid to lay down doesn't make them have peaceful and restful sleep, it makes them angry and exhausted...just like it makes us while we try to do it.
I get that Preschool has 12 kids in a classroom and the rules help them maintain order but my kid is a rule follower in general... she loves circle times and eating at the table and even getting her nose wiped. She's that kid. If she's fighting you, it's because she thinks something is adamently wrong with what is happening. She's 2, so that could be anything both logical or irrational but still... would it kill you to take 3 minutes to calmly explain it to her and wait for her to adjust to the idea. Because she'll probably do it...if you give her a second to do it on her terms.
Unrelated, next week will be Layla's last week at Preschool for awhile. We have the opportunity to have her stay home with Nannie for awhile and it seems like a much more natural fit for our family style and our budget. Parents worried about paying for daycare and power in the same month are not fun to live with I'm sure and mommy would be much more comfortable with a 3 yr old in preschoool who can communicate her worries and frustrations better.
I'm relieved that we've been blessed with the opportunity to let Layla go back to a natural flow of development that Mommy is much more comfortable with for awhile. Even if the natural flow destroys the house and eats too much sugar sometimes.
Friday, December 18, 2009
For Christmas morning I am going to make Monkey bread. I've heard a lot of good things about the monkey bread (which contains no monkey's or banana's so I am not sure why it's called that) anyhow I am going to try it and some sausage because my daughter...she hearts the sausage. She'd eat a whole pound of sausage if we let her.
Then for the big meal I'll be making Turkey, Grandma Gerty's Cornbread Stuffing, Giblet Gravy, Garlic Mashed Potatoes, Deviled Eggs and Courtney's Corn Casserole. I will also be warming some nice premade rolls and opening a can of cranberry relish. As usual I will put forth the effort to make a pie for each my dad and Jon (which they will kindly share with the rest of us) from 11 dishes at thanksgiving down to 6 dishes at Christmas. I nixed a pie and I gave up the much loved homemade rolls that never turn out right when you're making a big batch. I feel like I am forgetting something... I think it might be half my menu.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
*Please hold while I cough up a lung *
Ok where was I? Oh the plan. So today is officially 8 days until Christmas and if you're like us (poor and behind schedule due to a sickness) you probably haven't finished making your list and checking it twice.
Luckily, some people are helping us pull our weight because Lord knows I don't want to pull anything right now.
Our next 8 days looks like this...
Today- Jon closes at work and Layla and I will be attempting to do our Christmas craft...finally
Friday- Sonogram at 8 am followed by a Dr's appt and a full day of work. Layla's Christmas Concert at 7 pm for Preschool.
Saturday- Work a full day (with potluck) then a going away dinner for my cousin who is moving back home after going to school here for about a year
Sunday- Panic induced heavy breathing and attempting to finish all Christmas shopping and shipping because I really don't have any time to do it before then.
Monday- Start prepping Christmas Dinner
Tuesday- Make pies after work and there is a Cookie Exchange at work
Wednesday- Christmas Eve Eve is Layla's last day at Preschool for awhile (more in another post soon) and it's also the only day my friend Jen and I both have off this month so we're doing something...something might be code for eating cookies and talking in my living room (depending on how tired we both are at this point)
Thursday- Hello Christmas eve... I work, Jon probably works (he usually does) then we will let Layla open 1 gift and go to bed early because the next day I get to get up and make Christmas
I'm tired just thinking about it. It also doesn't include the fact that we have another friend we want to get together with before then. Or the fact that Mel and Garratt will be down and we'll want to see them. Or the fact that Jon's dad hasn't been officially scheduled in for a Christmas visit yet. *sigh*
I guess that explains why I downsized my Christmas to do list in the first place. Now if only less really was MORE!
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Sunday, December 13, 2009
I'm hoping that this month will some day be one of those moments I can look back on and say..."yea that was ok".
Spiritually, I'm incredibly raw right now. I fill each day with worry about the baby, work, money, sick toddlers, lung infections, families that don't work and other people's broken dreams. I am prone to cry...and I grasp for moments of calm sleep because it feels like that is the only time I am not running into the wind.
This was one of those months that has the power to be overwhelming if you think about it too much. The missing work bonus scared us. Bills were bigger than income. I went to the hospital. Layla was sick. Jon was sick. Work sucks. I kept praying for someone to stop by and be "with us".
I learned a lot this month. I have a good circle. They aren't the circle I thought they would be, but they keep calling, and stopping by, and when it really counts they know how to pray. It's brilliantly normal.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
1. Everyone here is sick. Each of us a little different from the type of sick to the person we sleep next to. There is 1 ear infection w/ cough, one lung infection w/ contractions and 1 case of sore throat w/ a side of cough. Due to this, two people in this house are finally on antibiotics, one is on cough syrup and one is still on home treatment although all 3 have been to the Dr, 1 has been to the ER and that same one has seen 3 Dr's in 3 days.
2. On the day that Layla's preschool took pictures, I had no warning. We had just started...I believe it was our 2nd Monday (so day 4) and I said, oh what the heck, you can try. She had on a tshirt and jeans and she hadn't had a bath that morning. The pictures are better then the ones we planned for and spent twice as much on at the studio. Kids!
3. I can't find the book I was reading. I was reading it a few weeks back and then everything went to hell in a hand basket. Worse part, I can't remember the title. So I have been picking up books, reading the first paragraph and trying to remember if I have finished them or not. *sigh*
4. I'm a hippy. When we had our first daughter I had a few church friends and family members that commented on EVERY.single.CHOICE I made. It scared me. So I stopped telling them things... I hid my sling and used it when people weren't looking, I stopped talking about how my daughter slept in our bed for the first year. I just got quiet. Not so much on Baby Bean, her/his registery is full of co-sleeping and babywearing stuff. I'm me. I'm over it.
5. I have two sets of blogs I read. One set is in the blogs I read section here on blogger. The other set is in my Blackberry. The two sets don't mingle. I actually enjoy the ones not listed as much (if not more depending on the blog) than the ones listed here. But I like having secrets.
6. I take about 5 pictures of Layla a day. I take more pictures on special days or days when she's doing something new or exceptionally cute. Despite this tactic there are at least 10 things I can think of right now that I have yet to catch on camera or video. Did you know she sings like 6 songs now? And she knows her whole alphabet (if only she didn't say it so fast). She can count to 10. She has songs with hand motions. None of that is on film yet. And that's just the start.
I watch the toys pile up on the floor and the crumbs mash into the carpet because I'm needed in the cuddle department from 7 pm until 6 am daily. And I wait, I wait for signs of smooth sailing, lighter breathing, fewer coughs and no more fever. I pray, I wish and I day dream about time spent making cookies instead of making snot bubbles. It's just a reality, my reality, a mom-reality.
And when it gets to be too much I call in the back up. I am lucky enough to be a mom with a mom. So I call mine and she comes over in her sweats and she cleans up dirty children, and calms racing hearts and sits with me in the ER room at 10 pm while rude nurses make unnecessary comments and she makes jokes. And she waits, she waits for signs of smooth sailing, lighter breathing, fewer coughs and no more fever. And while she's bailed me out a thousand times since hard times hit, in more than one way, there isn't that feeling of dread to dial her number...because I know she wants to do it for me, if it has to be done. I guess I never fully understood that until I had a daughter of my own.
And it may seem like the drama is never ending here but the truth is we are blessed because so is the love and the generousity of others. And while there is darkness we have always known there would be a light at the end of the tunnel... even if it's just the head of the mom-fan-club waving her cell phone like she's at a rock concert.
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
click here for Bean's Baby Registry link
This time we're going to give breast feeding a go again. The breast pump I had been borrowing when Layla was born got passed to another family member who (to the best of my knowledge) still uses it...so I have no idea what I need in that department but I registered for a pump and bottles to get me started.
If you see anything that looks like it's missing, fill free to pipe up in the comments, making a registry is harder than it looks. For instance I can't find the diaper bag I want...or a diaper bag I would want anywhere.
Luckily, we have almost everything we had when we had Layla. So there is always that small blessing.
Not that I am complaining. There has been rain, and you know how much I love the rain. I also love being home with my baby (even if it's for a case of the sick) and watching Christmas movies and seeing her deconstruct a christmas cookie (eat the sprinkles, lick off the frosting, eat half the cookie, give the rest to mom). And nothing beats the adorableness of a toddler in her Christmas Pj Nightgown, slippers, a scarf and puppy dog hat singing jingle bells with hand motions...nope...nothing.
Now if only I could get enough oxygen in my lungs without coughing to sing along.
Monday, December 07, 2009
After spending a day nursing a coughing toddler and being a coughing pregnant woman we finally have up and went to same day care.
The same day care doctor announced we have all come down with a virus which is a result of all of layla's nasal drainage lately. In addition, she has an ear infection.
So the toddler gets drugs. The pregnant lady on the other hand has to tough it out and try to stay calm. There is nothing recommended for a pregnant person to take. Lucky me.
It's Ok though as long as layla eventually feels better.
Sunday, December 06, 2009
Yesterday I managed to get my popcorn cake and the whole 4 presents we got Layla wrapped. I also did house chore stuff like baby laundry. Then today I made sugar cookies with green frosting and green sprinkles. Yummy. Layla helped (as you can see).
Saturday, December 05, 2009
Santa got hidden on the kitchen window ledge with the other things that Layla can't touch because he's glass
no chimney? I highly recommend the ledge at the stop of the stairs... it's festive and your kid can't reach it. JOY... I'd say so! (BTW, next year well need new stocking hangers unless they make a "!" you can buy individually.
What do you think of the scale back?
If you have never been to the Turlock Lights Parade, let me tell you, you have to be there at least 45 minutes early to get a good spot.
Once the parade started she wanted Daddy to hold her so she could see. She loved pointing at pretty lights and talking about them and waving at kids. She had two candy canes and eventually even stood on her own awhile and watched holding Daddy's hand.
She went right to sleep when we got home because it was passed her bedtime. Another great holiday memory and something I am glad we decided to keep on our to do list.