Sometimes life is amazing and people do extraordinary things and time itself stops and stares at them in awe. But most of the time, well, most of the time you're just going through the day to day BS in an attempt to get to a day that's brilliantly normal. Only once arriving there I usually find myself looking back and going "ok that was normal all along, what was I so worried about."
I'm hoping that this month will some day be one of those moments I can look back on and say..."yea that was ok".
Spiritually, I'm incredibly raw right now. I fill each day with worry about the baby, work, money, sick toddlers, lung infections, families that don't work and other people's broken dreams. I am prone to cry...and I grasp for moments of calm sleep because it feels like that is the only time I am not running into the wind.
This was one of those months that has the power to be overwhelming if you think about it too much. The missing work bonus scared us. Bills were bigger than income. I went to the hospital. Layla was sick. Jon was sick. Work sucks. I kept praying for someone to stop by and be "with us".
I learned a lot this month. I have a good circle. They aren't the circle I thought they would be, but they keep calling, and stopping by, and when it really counts they know how to pray. It's brilliantly normal.