This year we had a hard Christmas season. Christmas eve I finally got a bonus from work only to be informed that because of a company policy I wasn't aware of it would be smaller than I expected. Ok... at least I finally got it. I take it home and give it to Jon to go deposit at the bank with instructions to come home and order his Christmas gift because the check was finally here. On his way back from the bank a tire blew on my car. My car is our only reliable vehicle (Jon's is on it's last leg) so he returned home on the spare broken hearted. New tires equals no Christmas present for Jon.
And that is how on Christmas morning there came a moment when I was opening gifts from Jon and my mother and Jon was opening...well...nothing...because mom had pitched in for Jon's gift and I was to get the rest of it...and well... the grinch stole our Christmas.
There were great moments where Layla opened gifts and ohhh'ed and awww'ed and those moments were magical but mixed in with those moments were things like my Dad being over an hour late for Christmas dinner because of someone else's actions. Moments where the baby turned off the oven mid way through making the turkey and I wasn't sure how much longer it needed to cook because I didn't know when it got turned off.
I'm still hacking up a lung intermittenly and Jon is sick and was without much in the way of Christmas gifts but he actually put on a good game face for his daughter. Which makes him a better parent than me. I spent most of Christmas cursing (not always under my breath) and wishing it was over.
Guess what? It never ends. Layla who skipped a nap was completely over being awake by 6:30 so we went to bed. I couldn't catch my breath from coughing so I went downstairs around 7:30 to get some cough syrup while she was sleeping. She rolled off the bed. DRAMA! There was crying and vomiting and lots and lots of "daddy no go" and eventually around 9 she was all the way asleep and I could go to sleep.
This morning... I've spilt a drink on my carpet and my kid slipped in her tights on the kitchen floor and gave herself a huge bump on the back of her head.
So it's an M&M with breakfast day while Daddy goes to price new tires. And by the end of the day tomorrow I hope to have all the signs of Christmas packed away so I can let it go and by next year it can go back to being the most magical and loving holiday in my world. Because really, I usually love Christmas, I promise, it's just this year...we weren't ok.
At least we're good enough to admit it. Also, a special thanks to my mom who kept calm during all my chaos, gave loans and otherwise saved our ass because without here there wouldn't be this picture of Layla opening a gift from Mommy and Daddy while holding a chocolate santa from her stocking in her mouth...good times.