Well, Anyah has made it past the half way mark in her gestation. I don't know why, but for me the passing of the 20 week mark usually signals the change from worrying about miscarrying constantly over to worrying about nesting constantly. I don't really know why that is. There is no reason I would be less likely to miscarry now that I was 2 weeks ago. And with over 100 days left before Anyah arrives (hopefully) there is still plenty of time to sort tiny pink socks and set up cribs but as predicted by previous experience, I find myself focusing a lot of time and energy on fighting the urge to stock her dresser and plan her diaper bags.
As with most things, as the worry gets easier, the pregnancy itself gets more um...trying. I am enjoying Anyah's movements and her fiesty desire to only kick me when I have to pee and have no way to get up from my desk at work and go. It's like she knows.
I am not enjoying the fact that my whole body is sort of itchy (which last time led to turning yellow and having a baby very early) or that I have pregnancy insomnia because I can't stay comfortable. I wake up at least once an hour all night long and I'm so over that already.
On other happy notes, I've managed to avoid any further edema by being very selective of what I eat and how much water I drink. Basically, I got over being so sick I couldn't move and now that I am taking the time to listen to what my body naturally tells me, it's telling me that putting my feet up isn't nearly as helpful as eating a lot more fruits and veggies.
And so that's where we are at... I am trying to teach Layla to say Anyah. She's stubborn about doing things when you ask her to so I figure it will take the next 4 months. At least it will give me something to do so I can distract myself from the nesting urge to purge half the things we own to make room for a tiny human.
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What is it about the half way mark that just flips the switch from miscarriage thoughts to trying to not purge the whole house? We just hit the 21 week mark as of today and my inability to fall back to sleep in the middle of the night hits after a potty break. Too much running through my head. Wondering how I will juggle everything once the baby arrives. Is it a boy or girl? How can I stuff an office and a guest room all into one room?? How will my daughter react to a new baby? It just goes on and on.
Hopefully this time I will not go on a mad purge of all my shoes and end up with 2 pairs and some flip flops.
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