Five Things I learned in my First 5 Days Home

There are a lot of things people tell you about being home the first week with a baby. Here are 5 things people cleverly forgot to mention ...

1. The bible doesn't talk about when Hannah got Samuel home. It doesn't tell you she checked to see if he was breathing 350 times the first day or that she had to be holding him most of the time. They don't tell you that because they don't want you to worry... but it's normal...or so I've been informed to have to hold your own child a lot in the beginning.

2. Newborn diapers don't fit newborns. They are a waste of money. My daughter is a week old and they are too small. Now if only I didn't have 2 packs of them left. Good thing she was early or we would have thrown away4 packs of diapers.

3. A child 3 hours old can take off a hat or socks if she doesn't like them. She can't hold up her own head but she can sure as shit get something off it if she doesn't want it there.

4. Anxiety sucks at bed time. Turns out it's so normal with NICU baby moms that the have a term for it called "extreme birth anxiety"... but they aren't going to tell you about it. Oh no. They are going to send you home. Let you wake up at 2 am unable to breath. Panick. When you call in and go see a Dr they will shrug it off. This is not a good time to threaten to hit someone in the baby maker... but you'll think about it.

5. If perhaps, during labor your husband should make a joke about the fact that you are hurting his hands during contractions. If you tell him to breath through it everyone will laugh...mainly because he's been saying that for 25 hours straight. But the moment you get home... that man... he's a different one than the one you married because you've seen him in crisis and it makes him the most handsome person you've ever known... even when he's swearing at a video game while you do the dishes...