Day by day you learn things you didn't know as your pregnancy progresses and then after you become a mom you learn things you didn't know you didn't know. For instance I didn't know that there was such a thing as post partum anxiety. Everyone talks about PP depression but PPA is just as common. I'm not sad and I have never wanted to leave or to go back to pre-baby... I'm anxious and worried all the time.
Worried about my daughter, my job, worried the dishwasher will break, worried I'll be hot when I get there, worried that I'm worrying too much, worried I haven't worried in awhile. And then I cry not because I'm sad but because I'm seriously stressed the f*ck out and my heart is racing and I don't feel like I'm bonding correctly because I'm too busy worrying I'll forget something or remember something or something will change or not change.
Then the baby wakes up because she realizes I have left the room and she cries. She is worried. I pick her up and she is instantly calm and smiles at me and I think "yea this is the good life" but soon she drifts off to sleep and my mind wanders off to the land were things are unsettled.
Today I called my mother and unloaded the kind of stress only a mother will listen to without telling you to "buck up cowboy" and when I finished she advised me it was time to call my Dr and start enjoying my maternity leave.
I don't believe in magic little pills or maybe it's just that I don't want to believe that everything will be ok because then if it isn't I'll be worried again but I'm ordering my little pills because I couldn't pray my way through this one. Sometimes when you give it to God he tells you to call in reinforcements.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Hi Allie,
It might not require a little magic pill. When I experienced this there weren't any meds that addressed the situation. Sometimes it just helps to verify it, learn some coping skills and stay on top of it. Remember, this stress/anxiety is raising your BP and that has your mom worried.
And I truly want you to enjoy this time with Layla, you both deserve it.
Now, be a good girl, call your doctor, talk it out with him/her and work it out.
This too shall pass!
I love you!
Mom
aka Layla's Nana!!!!
SEND MORE PICTURES
(Sorry, couldn't help myself)
It's up to you and your doctor about the magic pills. Most pills take up to two to three weeks to start working, so it won't be a magic bullet. Sorry.
For me, the other non-medication cures didn't work. The only thing that gave any relief from the insanity was Zoloft. If you can beat PPA without pills, more power to you. If you can't or don't enough strength to fight it on your own... do what you have to do. It doesn't have to be a permanent prescription. You can use the pills for several months, just enough time to get you up to a healthier balance where you can be at a place to learn those coping skills. :)
Interview questions to come.
Am I a dork because I can't find your email address to send you your questions? Anyway. Here they are: 1) I know you're a talented chef. What is your most hated food that you would never prepare?
2) What do you see happening with your career over the next five years?
3) What is one thing you are craving today?
4) You've had an interesting spiritual path, to say the least. What are you going to tell Layla about it?
5) If you suddenly found yourself to be the Queen of the World, what five rules would you immediately impose on your kingdom?
Post a Comment