Tag I'm it AGAIN

I got tagged for another writing prompt thingy. This one you list 10 random things about yourself and FOOD...

1. I won't eat brussel sprouts. When I was little my parents tried to make me and I reinacted the scene from Pultergiest with the split pea soup. No brussel sprouts.

2. I actually have dreams where I am eating garlic goat cheese on club crackers while drinking pepsi with ice and reading a book by the ocean. *Pathetic*

3. I'm allergic to citrus fruits so I have to watch what I eat. Not long ago I hugged a little kid and had a citrus burn hand print on my neck for 3 days.

4. I'd rather eat milk chocolate Hershey bars than expensive chocolate.

5. I buy organic when I can and when it's priced reasonably. When I go back to work we'll be going back to mostly organic like we were before I lost my job.

6. I love food so much I made a website called FatGirlEats to post recipes from my life and childhood on. My favorite recipe there right now is for Cranberry Relish like my Aunt Penny used to make on Thanksgiving and Christmas.

7. I remember times in my life by the things I ate during those times. I once catered a party back when I owned LadyWickedCatering and I served this salad that had a horseradish salad dressing with blue cheese in it. I remember the way it felt in my throat while I laughed flirting with a serving person.

8. I'm such a big girl that I think about what I'll be eating for dinner all day long. Sometimes I think about it so much I over-eat at dinner. If I have plans with someone and they cancel I'm bummer but if it was lunch or dinner plans which I have been thinking about all day I tend to take it personally.

9. I can't make good meatloaf. It frustrates me so much I won't even order meatloaf when I go out now. Stupid meatloaf.

10. I used to make homemade fudge with chilli pepper in it. I had to stop making it because when I did I would eat the whole pan, and then because I felt bad about eating the first pan I'd make another... and so on... until I was sick to my stomach.

Now I'm supposed to tag 5 people who like food...

I tag Lynn, Stacey, Courtney, Mel & Candace... (if they want)

Tis the season

My friend Lynn just called me a Christmas Card Guru. I laughed pretty hard.

Truth be told this is the first year I feel like my Christmas cards aren't controlling my future. I'm not dreading it. I guess it's the married with children aspect of my life, I have something to write about and send a picture of.

This year, like last year, I'll be doing the photo card. Last year we did the family picture but this year it will just be Layla. And I'm typing up a little newsletter that will fit on half of a piece of paper. Broken down by month, listing things we did throughout the year.

I'm going to write something personal in each card. This year I really cut back our list which I am truly happy about.

I'll be sending my cards the first day of December and then I won't have to think about them again.

But, at the moment, I need to get that list typed into labels...so I'm off to the keyboard.

It had to be you

There are moments when you look at the man you married and think that's totally why I married you. They sometimes get lost in the oh god I wish I knew that before I married you moments. But most of the time they are so blatantly obvious that you can't believe they caught you off guard. You marvel at how you didn't notice them before. You wonder why you were so suprised... I mean shouldn't you expect it.

I mean afterall... men read stories to their kids all the time. They tuck people in bed and chase them around the living room floor on their hands and knees. Men make the baby giggle and men make you a soda while their in the kitchen.

But only MY MAN can make me laugh by making OUR DAUGHTER laugh just like he does when he's had too much to drink.

Giveaway~ 5 WEEKS UNTIL CHRISTMAS

Yes, I said 5 weeks. I know. I know. I can't believe it either.

This week we're talking about Christmas Music. We've had the Christmas Music Channel on our cable network since the day after Halloween. I didn't start listening to it until about a week ago, but we've listened to it everyday.

For this weeks contest you need to leave me your favorite Christmas song in the comments.

Only one entry per person.

The prize...

Ready???

I'm giving away a copy of Words of Grace (which is a great book) and a 1 lb bag of coffee from Starbucks.

Good Luck. As usualy this contest ends Sunday night.

And last weeks winner?

Janelle.... you go girl!

Send an email to me at alliejeffery (at) gmail (dot) com with your address. Thanks!

Works for Me Wednesday!

It's Works for Me Wednesday and one thing that works for me at Christmas time is having the baby make Christmas Gifts for other people.

I know... she's 1 but I like crafts and she likes playing with me during my craft time so I thought it was time she did a craft of her own.

I'm going to purchase wooden ornaments from Michael's for around 50 cents each. Mommy will paint them all white. Then Layla will get a paintbrush with red or green paint that she can sprinkle, dab or smear to her hearts content. Then mommy is going to put some glue around the edges and let her dip them in glitter.

Total cost... less than 75 cents a piece. But, they are a priceless lesson. It's a lesson started very young about how a hand made gift is worth more than a store bought one. It's a lesson about how hard work can make something beautiful. It's a lesson for Mommy about how to not curse when glitter is all over the kitchen.

And it Works for Me and my BUDGET! For more WFMW posts click here.

Toddler Tuesday

Last Tuesday, Layla decided she wanted to empty every block in our house into one pile and sort them across the window siles, around the floor and under the chairs. She spent two hours of her Tuesday making piles, stacks and block ordered chaos all over the downstairs of our townhouse.

At first it was no big thing. Then I contemplated stopping her because it was messy. But after awhile I decided to see how long she'd play alone.

3 hours

Did you hear me internet people??

THREE HOURS

So I decided it will be a Tuesday thing around here. From now on during Toddler Tuesday I will not be following my child around trying to contain the chaos that threatens my sanity. Instead, I will let her do what she wishes (within reason) and see how her mind wraps around freedom.

Sometimes attachment parenting is about letting go...

Menu Plan Monday

~Monday~
Sloppy Joes and Tater Tots (as requested by the boys)

~Tuesday~
Pork Chops and Mashed Potatoes with Green Peas

~Wednesday~
Beef Stew and Biscuits

~Thursday~
Black Bean and Cheese Tostadas

~Friday~
Chili Dogs

~Saturday~
Spanish Chicken and Courtney Corn Casserole

~Sunday~
Grilled Cheese and Vampire Hunter Soup

You can't snooze motherhood

Hi it's me Pavlov. My daughter slept in on Saturday until AFTER 7 am. First off...take that in for a second. The child that never sleeps, slept until 7.

I, on the otherhand, who BEG to sleep in every day for the last few months. I woke up at 6:15 that morning. I laid in bed after the sun came up, and I waited because she normally is up until around 6:30 am.

Then around 6:45 I started to worry. So I snuck into her room and checked to see that yes in fact she is still breathing.

And then I waited, because after over a year of being a mom I don't have the ability to sleep in past when the baby normally gets up. I contemplated how similar I felt to that dog that drooled when the bell rang in Pavlov's home. Then I tried to get comfortable again.

But nothing happened. You can't snooze being a mom. I just sat there willing her to sleep until she was happy to be awake. Willing myself to go back to sleep. And staring at the ceiling against my will because I just wanted to get up and start our day together.

What now?

I know some of you are still hanging on in suspense about my little job interview with the J O B on Friday. Well let me tell ya...

I'm done. There is nothing left for me to do... why you ask?

Because they are doing a background check and testing my references and if they come back normal (which they should) then they'll make me pee in a cup and I will start the first week of December.

They didn't give an offer letter but she told me "we'd like to hire you pending a background check and a drug screen". She told me about the benefits and the pay.

Funny thing... I have another job offer pending. Isn't that how it goes?

This offer is literally 2 blocks from my home and the hours are good and the pay is ok. It's literally just enough.

The other position is a 30 minute commute but they pay is a little better. The hours are a little better too but at a weird time of day.

So I'm going to take job 1 unless job 2 offers me untold amounts of money or PTO or something. Because...well job 1 is looking closer to a sure thing first AND it's 2 blocks from where my baby will be.

Lunches at home & what not are very appealing now that I'm a mother.

Is this us?

I find myself wondering often if I will ever have another baby. When infertility looms around you it doesn't matter how poor you are or how stressed you are you find yourself wondering... is this it? Is this the 1 chance I had to have another baby and I'm not even trying? Am I going to regret this?

I look at Layla, confident one moment and shy the next. I watch Jon, calm and playful while he teachs her how life should be. I see myself, comforting and nurturing in the early morning hours. And I wonder...

Is this us? Is this it? Is this what it is going to be forever. Will there be another? Could I really love another one the same? Is it perfect now...

Should I be doing more...less... differently...

*sigh*

The Preface...

She was pale and her face looked hollow and her eyes were vacant but on closer examination I could see she had a hidden strength inside her. Wet hair still warm from the shower made a halo of steam around her face. Battered arms peeked out from an oversized t-shirt and her body had a broken slump to it. It was visible that she was a product of a beating… both physical and mental. My heart poured out to her as I recognized the signs of a life abandoned in the pursuit of survival.

“Poor small town girl, what have you gotten yourself into.” I said to the face starring back at me.

She said nothing. Her exasperated face eyed me for something more. But there was nothing more to show her.

“You should stop doing this to yourself you know.” I said with an exhausted sigh of contempt.

I watched her sigh, still watching me, expecting something. But there was nothing to expect. I had given her all I could and I was walking away this time. She knew it, you could see it in her stance. Her body language said goodbye even when she said nothing.

I stole one last glance at her before I turned to leave. I half expected her to yell out to me, to tell me something to make me stay but she didn’t. She couldn’t she was frozen and powerless. This time I was stronger than her. I could feel it when I turned away, my back to her as I walked out the door.

Today I was gone. That shattered girl in the mirror might as well have watched me walk away, I don’t know if she did… I didn’t look back.

Twinkle Toes

They were the first part of you I ever saw. You were black and white and fuzzy and they couldn't locate you with the ultrasound so I pointed and said her feet are right here. At which point the tech said I couldn't know that because you were too little. But he stuck the thingy there anyhow and there you were. You were two tiny feet at the end of two very long legs. You were suddenly so much more real.

When you were first born I would sit and marvel at your tiny little feet. I wanted to eat them up. I held them in my hands and rubbed them like a worry stone when things got aggitated and broken in real life. They were tiny and perfect.

Now you're running from place to place, climbing the furniture like a tiny daredevil and dancing to your own little beat. Your feet have gone from proof of life to proof of a life being lived. You are constantly in motion, either running in circles around me or fidgeting while you drift to sleep on my lap.

Sometimes I flash back to your tiny feet which stayed tiny for so long when I am looking at your new toddler feet. They are so similar to those baby feet that I want to nibble them up and yet so different that I am perplexed in that moment by how big you've gotten. And then my mind skips forward to your first dance class on twinkle toes when you are 5 or your first prom.

And I cuddle harder while I still can because you aren't really that big girl yet... and I don't want to miss the chance while I still have it.

Testing 1...2...3...

Today I'm off to the land of the J O B to take a final employment test before they run my background check and make me an offer. Now it's all about me... either I pass or I don't. Lucky me! I'm hoping my past is clean enough and my fingers are fast enough (despite not working for the last 6 months).

My test is at 8:30 and any prayer would be greatly appreciated because I'm nervous.

Have I mentioned I need a J O B very badly?

This one would do quite nicely thank you very much.

30

It weighs heavily on my mind. Shouldn't I have my shit together by now? 30. Shouldn't my faith be stronger? 30. Shouldn't my body look better? 30. I joke that at 30 I'll be 1/3 of the way finished with my life. Shouldn't that feel like an accomplishment instead of a goal? 30.

30.

I thought I'd find thirty, beautiful... confident... sure of who I was. Instead I find 30 searching, grasping and unsure of where to go next.

30.

It's coming.

Flirty Girl?

Can someone explain to me why I want this tape so badly?

Works for Me Wednesday

One of the things that I find works for me around Christmas time is deciding to give FAMILY gifts. Instead of giving Uncle Max, Aunt Sheri, Billy and Betty 4 individual gifts I make one gift for the family. Here are 4 of my favorite FAMILY GIFT examples...

1. THE FAMILY MOVIE NIGHT- I take a box which is opened on top (no flaps) and wrap the entire inside and outside with Christmas paper. Then I fill the bottom with shredded paper (or other filler) half way. Inside the box I arrange (1) Traditional Family movie- I usually use an older classic movie or a gift certificate to rent or purchase a movie if I don't know the family well (1) Jiffy Pop popcorn skillet (1) package of Twizzlers or M&M's (sometimes both) and a jar filled with homemade cocoa mix with a small Christmas cylophane container of marshmellows (you can even get them shaped like Christmas trees.

2. THE FAMILY GAME NIGHT- For this one I take a board game (which is in a box) and wrap it. Then I find 4 boxes that can stack (smaller) like a pyramid on top of that box. In 1 box I put soda or tea mix or cocoa mix and the fixings with some cookies or brownies. Then the next box up I put a bunch of small bags of chips. The top box I put a prize in. I wrap each box and then tie the stack with ribbon in a pyramid. I put a big tag on the front saying that only the WINNER of the game can open the top box.

3. THE FAMILY CRAFT- For this project I buy a small plastic tub (shoe box size) and I fill it with all the items necessary to make homemade Christmas decorations (precut foam, paint and brushes, glue, kids scissors) and then I make a cute typed set of instructions for a Kid friendly craft and place them on top of tub. I close the tub and wrap it. The best one I ever did I gave the family a disposable camera, a $12 giftcard to get film developed and the supplies to make foam picture frame ornaments for the tree using this years pictures for next years tree.

4. THE FAMILY FOOD FUN- Make sugar cookies in assorted shapes. Don't decorate them. Place them on a round platter in the shape of a wreath. Buy puff paint containers at the craft store and fill each one with a different color of decorating frosting. Put a small tub of base frosting in the middle of your wreath, a few small tubes of different colored puff paint frostings and sometimes I even add a few tubes (or baggies) of sprinkles. Wrap the whole platter with green plastic wrap and tie it with a big red bow. Drop it off to family and friends and let them spend a night decorating cookies. (To upgrade this gift I have given it with disposable cameras or kid aprons to add more value to it)

Together

I saw this little graphic today. It made me smile. It reminded me of a time when all we needed was to think outside the box and we could make something beautiful out of nothing. I saw it and I remembered that we are never alone. I saw it and I thought about all the times that my hands have touched the hands of the people that I love for no reason at all and in that moment the most brilliant spark of life has gone off and I marveled at the closeness of them. Today I saw a little graphic and it brought me hope.

What does it bring you?

Giveaway~ 6 weeks until Christmas

This week for our giveaway contest we'll be talking about what "tastes like Christmas" to us. What is it that makes you remember Christmas in your heart as soon as you put it in your mouth.

This weeks contest begins today and ends Friday November 14th at Midnight (CA time), winners will be announced Sunday November 16th.

It's only 6 weeks until Christmas which means I've already got a list made of the items I'll be cooking for Christmas dinner so that I can find them all before the Christmas rush and store them away in my pantry or freezer (if that's an option).

I think one of the things which tastes the most like Christmas to me is the Sweet Potato recipe my Grandma Gerty taught me to make when I was 8. That recipe will be up on FatGirlEats on Friday if anyone wants it.

This week you can enter our contest 3 ways.

1. Leave a story about your favorite recipe in our comments (or a link to your blog with the story) = 1 entry
2. Leave the story AND the recipe for your favorite Christmas dish = 2 entries
3. Leave the story AND the recipe AND link back to this contest = 3 entries

What will you win? It's a mystery box. It's filled with some of my favorite Christmas tastes and it's valued at $20.00. I'll tell you what's in it on SUNDAY when I announce the winner. Interesting no?

Waiting to Excel

Dear God,

I really want a job now. I believe in you, I really do. But, I'm scared and I feel very alone and vulnerable. Could you help me out with that?

Love,
Your favorite sinner

You are my hiding place: you will protect me from the trouble & surround me with songs of deliverance. ~Psalm 32:7

Menu Plan Monday

It's that Menu Plan Monday time of the week again. Let me just say that in all honesty I NEVER used my MPM list last week. So here's hoping a do better this week.

~Monday~

Spaghetti

~Tuesday~

Chicken and Cilantro Soup

~Wednesday~

Black Bean Tostadas & Spanish Rice

~Thursday~

Stir Fry & Brown Rice

~Friday~

Roast and Veggies

~Saturday~

Chicken Enchiladas & Green Salad

~Sunday~

Breakfast for Dinner