You know you've had a tough year when the mildly overwhelming stuff doesn't even phase you anymore. In fact you know you've had a tough year when you don't notice something could be overwhelming until it's almost over. I've hit that point.
Some things are easy now that I'm used to it.
Last night we went out to dinner with other adults. Someone brought a kid the same age as mine. I floated through that unharmed...my one night out as an adult being kid friendly.
Then someone died that I didn't know but I watched the path of broken hearts it left behind and I prayed for them but I didn't stop in my tracks and have to recover my sanity.
There is clutter in the closet, pee on some sheets, and I broke a nail all before 8 am. No big deal.
Truth of the matter is, I'm getting my defenses back. I missed the confidence to be "ok" a lot while it was gone but I'm glad it's back now.
Money is still tight, but there is always hope. There is even talk about communal living that brings hope and joy to my heart (even if it doesn't work out I got to think about it and that's exciting). There is a job with a desk with a drawer. There is a babysitter who does more than she should for less money than she should. There are friends who call and stop by. There are babies coming (6 of them...none of them mine).
And God saw fit to give me my fertility perscription for free from my insurance. I think it's a sign. A sign that this year might actually be easier than the last one.