Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Introducing Idiots

Yesterday, while I was out sick (morning sickness kicked my tooshie this weekend) I had the pleasure of work calls forwarding to my cell phone. One of the calls that I got was a man claiming to be Todd King with the EDD asking for a reference for someone I terminated a few weeks ago.

I've terminated lots of people in my time doing HR and Office Manager jobs. This was the first time EDD asked me for a reference. Highly suspicious of the fact that they would call me I said I declined to give reference and that any paperwork needed for an EDD claim could be faxed to me. The person said ok and hung up. I thought about how akward it was that they didn't ask for my fax number. I then promptly decided that I didn't care and went back to watching Oprah talk about Grammar Girl's Website (which I've always thought was pretty cool).

When I got to work today I got a forwarded call from someone in my office via email (we can do that in my office). The call was also from Todd King and he said as follows "Hi my name is Todd King uhh I have an application thing in front of me I was Um just wondering about the reasons is for this lady's firing. I'm not supposed to indulge the name over the name over the phone. If you could I would let you allow me to call you back I would. Alright bye." (no that's not bad typing that's really what it said I listened to it while I typed it)

I laughed a little to myself because I suddenly knew who "Todd King" was. The caller ID identified them on my phone as the cell phone number of the boyfriend of a girl I let go (after being part time for 3 weeks). His name is not Todd King. Todd King died 7 years ago. Todd King does not work for the EDD. I just called and turned him in.

So "Todd" here's some idiot pointers for you next time you decide to break federal law.

1. DO NOT call from your cell phone when that number is listed as the persons other contact number.
2. DO NOT use the name of a dead local person. Other people will know they are dead too.
3. DO NOT pretend to be a government official.
4. You can not indulge a name. You can divulge it.
5. EDD people don't check references via phone.
6. EDD people do leave their phone numbers and tell you who they are calling about.
7. An application thing is probably a pencil or perhaps a clip board. Not an application.
8. In order to get a job with the EDD you have to be able to speak clearly. You take a grammar tests. You know that the reasoning for that is to determine that you understand saying "reasons for firing" wouldn't sound professional.
9. I do not allow you to call me back. Thanks for asking. Now if only you had asked me when I was there I could avoid having to call you a fraud when you call back.

Pisser huh.

Oh and for the record "Todd" I gave your girlfriend a termination letter. It listed her reason for termination. You should ask her to let you read it. It tells her how to get an employment reference on it.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Too funny!! I knew he sounded shady from the get go. What a dumb thing to do! Um...helloooo...nobody at the EDD sounds that imcompetent.

Courtney said...

That's awesome!