*disclaimer, this post was written by an angry pregnant woman and contains both cursing and judgement of others*
Today I went to work and I got off early to get started on my vacation. Which would have been awesome but I came home to a little financial situation I wasn't expecting and then spent the first two hours of my vacation torn between panic and PANIC. (Did I mention PANIC called her husband in Disneyland for help because PANIC was really PANIC!!! and not just blown up panic)
Once that was resolved it was decided that my mother, Layla and I would go to Chevy's and eat dinner being as we didn't get that head start on our vacation that I had planned. Chevy's actually went well. Layla threw a minor 2 year old fit before the food came but over all sat and played nicely and ate next to nothing which is pretty "ok" when you are two.
Then we had to wait for the check...and wait... and it seemed like forever but 2 minutes seems like an eternity when you have a toddler that is READY to leave. And by READY I mean she has managed to exit the chair, with a chocolate covered face from the Twix you used to bribe her to stay the first 2 times she tried to escape and is now exiting out the side entrance of the patio area because it is not locked.
Luckily, she found some gravel which she amused herself with while mom paid and then I suggested we run across the parking lot to the Walgreen's to look for toddler sunglasses because I still hadn't replaced the pair of Layla's that her cousin broke. So off we go. Layla literally runs across the parking lot and I have to catch her. *phew*
In the store we had a 15 minute, on again, off again tantrum about sitting in the cart. The kind with kicking, and threats ushered through clinched teeth in "the voice" until eventually we calm down for a few minutes only to start again. In line she lost her shit. Like, flip myself over almost die on the way to the ground my mother's head just spun off-lost her shit.
And then again in the parking lot which involved, me-who is not supposed to lift over 10 lbs, trying to carry a 28 lb screaming, flailing human, a gallon of milk, my bag, my purse and the last of my marbles as they fell out of my left ear.
People were looking at me. They gave me the "that mom" look. I'm pregnant, my face is broken out so I don't have on makeup, my kid is upset and I'm obviously having a hard time not loosing my cool. And I'm getting the judgement look from people standing with their much older and now well behaved kids and it took everything in my being not to shout "WHAT YOUR KID WAS NEVER FUCKING 2 YOU JUDGEMENTAL CUNT?"
But then I try to remind myself that my pregnancy hormones are raging, that Jesus loves me, that the baby is already upset, that I'll look MORE like "that mom" if I do yell, that I'm in a high risk pregnancy and I do not want to freak out and get sick. Instead I say things slightly heated like "oh man I'll be glad when 2 is over, it's my favorite age-NOT" or "Layla that is ENOUGH you need to calm down RIGHT NOW and behave like a good girl, Nanny and Mommy are very disappointed" or "stop it or I will have to beat you to death right here in the middle of this store" and that neither ends the staring or makes me feel any better.
So officially, not ever going to the store again with a toddler...all shopping will cease and halt until she is 4, no make that 5 just to be safe...or until Jon comes home from his vacation...whichever comes first.
*second disclaimer- I wouldn't beat my child, to death or otherwise...but sometimes I really wish I could because it would be so much easier than trying to be rational with a tiny irrational person*