Moments

Life is just a series of moments. Small little fractions of time that neither complete us or make us feel content. An infinity of time seems to stretch out before us. An infinite amount of possibilities and options, a sea of propositions both accepted and rejected and an endless supply of more.

More time, that ever dangerous, everlasting illusion that we know how much time we have. We know somehow that there will be more. We grasp for more time, we plan for more time and we use more time as an inevitable excuse and constant crutch for the things we know we should be doing in the now but choice to ignore. More time sustains us with the hope that tomorrow there will be that one small moment where we are caught up and we can be fulfilled with the knowledge that we will have conquered time. More time lingers in the back of our mind, it is a part of every plan and every probability we present to ourselves. We think we know so much about time.

But time knows us better than we know about it. Time keeps idling by watching us spend our little moments. Time smirks as we waste those series of moments on things that don't matter, arguing about things that won't matter in 40 years and thinking about things we'll never fully understand. Time knows we are living in an illusion. Time knows that it will always be moving forward and that at some point our little pieces of it will fade away and we will be left with the sudden realization that time has always been finite.

Time has always had a beginning, time will always contain an end and we are wasting it. We waste moment after moment worrying about the little things, holding on to the big things as they drag us along and wasting second after second of the dust like speck of time the Lord gave us to be on this earth.

We know what time knows. We watch the effects of time change the people we love. We watch things end unexpectedly, lives torn apart by that moment when time keeps going but your finite piece of it ends. We know what time holds for us, an end and a new beginning but we focus instead on the things we can not keep. We wait for time to slip past us and we hope that when it does we are ready for the salvation that never needing time again will hold.

We wait in secret acceptance that someday time will find us exactly where we need to be. Not realizing that we could be in that place right now. We never stop to think about where we are at, we focus instead on the next piece...tomorrow, next month, next year and when we retire...that's when we'll be able to focus on the moment. That's what we tell ourselves.

But the Lord is looking at us RIGHT NOW. What is he watching you do?