I can't believe I did that...

So Three Kid Circus has a blog contest going right now where you tell your most embarrassing fitness purchase story and you get a chance to win a Wii with Wii Fit. I very seriously doubt I'll win because I'm not very lucky but I thought it would be a good chance to tell a good story. I'm going to enter because everyone who's anyone wants a Wii. If you'd like to try to win one, you have until midnight tonight, just click on Three Kid Circus.

.....

I should have seen it coming. I was out of a serious relation ship, finally living out on my own, I had a fun boyfriend and I felt un-pretty. You know un-pretty, when you feel so not pretty that the people standing next to you actually look more pretty just be association.

I had had a makeover month. A girl at work had talked me into cutting off my waist length straight brown hair to just around my shoulders and streaked it to look trendy and cute. I had fallen victim to the manicure and pedicure "must have" lecture by a girl friend and I was wearing a nice selection of the most expensive make up I'd ever owned. Somewhere around the trip to get "new me" clothing I got hit by the comment of a lifetime.

"Your awfully pretty for a fat girl"

Are you kidding me? At the time I was having an under the cover (pun intended) romance with a co-worker. This particular day I had spent the night at his place and I was running home to shower and change when I got hit by the jerk comment of the year by a friend. I thought about it all the way through my shower and I was so upset I called in sick to work.

I did what every fat girl does when she is not sick and stays home from work. I made brownies and settled in to watch bad cable in my favorite flannel pjs. By mid-afternoon there was nothing on so I settled on Oprah. That day she was talking about weight loss and this 95 lb blonde bombshell was talking about how her and her husband had lost a ton of weight by having sex.

Eureka! My answer from the Gods.

I hate to work out. It's hot. It's sweaty. It looks akward. But well... everyone likes sex right?

So I spent my twenty something bucks and got 'The Ultimate Sex Diet' book. It was long before I was too Christian to think about having large amounts of sex for personal gain. Heck I even paid for rush shipping.

Then I got my little book in the mail.

No one wants to tell the person they are with, "I'm feeling fat, let's have sex" so instead I said nothing. I spent a whole month sweating it out. But the thing is... it ruined sex. He's like "oh yea baby" and you're like "damn that's only worth half a snickers bar".

So I gave the book to a neighbor. She broke a table. You go girl.

For the record... neither of the girls lost any weight, but both men did. And it was still hot, it was still sweaty, and it was twice as akward as going to the gym.