These Little Things

I've typed up a birth story for Anyah but I am not done tweeking it yet so that might take a day or two to get up. In the meantime we've been enjoying the little things and making our way through day by day. Jon goes back to work on Monday (although he has 2 meetings tomorrow he will be going to so it's almost like he goes back tomorrow).

Breastfeeding has been working out well. We're supplementing with formula because I'm not a blue ribbon jersey cow and my milk production just doesn't cut it. I know I could take things to increase my production but this works well with having a toddler to take care of too so I think we'll stick with what we've got.

Anyah had her first Dr's check up yesterday. She gained an ounce and they checked her for jaundice. We were prescribed sunshine. It's cheap & Layla loves a reason to go outside so that was a nice sigh of relief.

Layla has taken to having a baby sister pretty well. She gets a little needy for attention every once and awhile and has figured out the easiest way to get that attention is to push Mommy or Daddy's buttons but that is normal. She especially likes being a helper. She brings me things and takes things to the trash for me. She's very into 'high fives' and 'knuckle bumps' as rewards so the labor is cheap.

I wanted to go to the park the other day but woke up to find that an 80 degree day was followed by an overcast and nasty day. It's been bleak here ever since so we still haven't made a family trip to the park although we did manage one short walk this week and last night we did a short car trip just to get out of the house for a minute. We're all road trip people... the car is one of our family happy places.

It's 9 or so days until the local farmer's market opens up. I am super excited about that. I don't mind flea market produce but the farmer's market is always more tasty and definitely more local.

Until then the plan at our house is to lay around in our pajamas, try to maintain a neat house despite the toddler being wild and crazy with the imaginative play and adjusting to our new cuddly baby (man this kid likes to be warm and held). Good times... blessed times.

Love Reality

*disclaimer* pay no attention to the house in this picture, it's been a long week and it was laundry day

I was worried about a gap. I was worried I would love one more than the other. I was worried there wouldn't be enough love to go around.

As a baby grew inside me I felt my attachment to it grow. As I waited for her arrival I felt myself mourn the relationship with my only child as I knew it would change. It was an organic change I know...but it scared me.

The moment Anyah arrived I noticed it. My love changed. It was like my soul had compartments and hers just opened and the love it had always been there waiting to be assigned. It was her love waiting to meet her.

Her love met Layla's love in a special place in my heart and it mixed. I can't tell it apart anymore. I couldn't within moments of having two daughters.

I brought Anyah home. Layla and Anyah met. Their love mixed, their hearts opened, their souls already knew each other they were just waiting for their time together.

I have a toddler who is giving (she brings her gifts) and playful (she tickles her toes and boops her nose). I have a toddler who is whimsical, intellegent, dependent and full of courage. I have a baby she is calm, open, trusting, and waiting for her other life skills to show themselves.

I have daughters, two sisters... who already know the sound of each other. They know each others cries and try to heal each others broken hearts. They have the same nose, the same angry face and the same grace. They are growing together every day and I feel so blessed.

They have love because they are love, it's what they were made from.

Anyah's Birth Story

One thing that always fascinates me is that people who have C-sections never really write down a birth story. But, there is always a story to any birth and this is Anyah's.

I had early preeclampsia and I went from having problems with just blurred vision to also having flashes of light so the Dr decided that I should start being monitored more closely and by 34 weeks gestation we were seeing her at least once a week. There were NST (stress tests) OB-NST (stress tests at the hospital complete with blood labs) and a few other tests that are were randomly poked through the experience.

On the day before Anyah was born I was sent to EMC (the local hospital) for an OB check and labs. They arranged for me to come back the next day so they could repeat the test and compare results and prescheduled an appointment with my OBGYN for the next day so I could go in and get checked before the weekend. It was a precaution we thought. We were buying ourselves another week so that we could get from 37 weeks to 38 weeks...closer to full term but still before May 6th (39 weeks) when I had originally been scheduled for a C-section.

The first test went well and the second test was also going well but given my history with Layla (Anyah's big sister) being born after Preeclampsia due to my liver trying to fail and her spending time in NICU with her own complications the OBGYN decided that since we knew Anyah was fully developed (we'd already tested for that) we should just go ahead and deliver her early.

So we're sitting in an OB check room at the hospital totally prepared to go home and get up the next day and go see the Dr who we assume will schedule a c-section some time the next week and we're talking about what to pick up on the way home for dinner and about how at least we'll be home in time to put Layla to bed. Mainly, Jon and I were pretty sure the day was a non-event because the nurses seemed so "you'll be out of here as soon as we can get you home".

The door opened after the end of our test and the nurse said "the Dr wants to know when the last time you ate was" and I told her. When she walked out to tell the Dr, I looked at Jon and we both said "so we're having a baby tonight". Sure enough the nurse came back and announced we would be having a baby tonight because the Dr felt that it would be better to have Anyah a little earlier instead of risking either of our health getting worse.

My heart skipped a beat. I got a little shaky with excitement. Jon and I went about the task of notifying our families, sending out prayer requests and waiting for the nurse to come prep me for surgery. We had about an hour wait. During that time we talked to my mom who was watching Layla and we talked about how nervous I was about having an IV or a catheter.

Strange as it sounds the procedures before surgery scare me worse than surgery. So when the nurses came into give me my actual IV and catheter I was a little bit of a mess. Jon held my hand and kept me breathing calmly while the nurses were totally sweet about talking me through the totally lame process of getting an IV and getting a cath.

Then we waited. Waited. Waited some more. Waited until 9:30 p.m. when it was time for surgery.

Suddenly, it was time and I walked to the operation room with a nurse while Jon got into that special protective jumpsuit they make Daddy's wear in the operating room. I got a spinal tap. The process was calm. The staff talked to me the whole time. I laid down and went numb. They strapped me to things. Eventually the Dr came in and talked to me while she prepped me for surgery. Then they sent for Jon.

Within minutes of Jon's arrival they got started and at 10:01 p.m. Anyah was born. Anyah cried the minute they pulled her out. I may have cried a little at the sound. I know in my head I said a small prayer and thanked the Lord. The experience is totally different when your child comes out screaming and pink.

Anyah was taken aside and checked while Jon talked to me and the nurses. The Dr started putting me back together. I kept asking silly worried Mom questions. I wanted a finger and toe count. I wanted to know how big she was. I wanted to see her. It seemed like it took forever for Jon to be able to get up and take her picture which he immediately brought over to show me on the camera and once she was nice and clean they brought her over to show me.

I talked to her. I welcomed her home. I told her I loved her. I cried a little. Then off she went with Jon and the nurses to the Nursery. The nursery is much less scary to send your child to than the NICU had been. I chatted with the nurses and once I was done being cleaned up they took me to recovery.

I had asked to breast feed as soon as I could so in recovery I chatted with the Dr and the nurse until they told me my husband and child were coming back. I couldn't sit up but the nurse was nice enough to help me breast feed right there in recovery. I stayed in recovery for awhile and I talked to Jon and held my beautiful daughter then once I was cleared to head back to Mom/Baby unit we all went like a little parade.

The nurse wheeled my bed. Jon wheeled the baby in her basinet and we went to my room. It was peaceful.

It wasn't pool in the living room natural or no pain medication empowering natural labor but it was beautiful. I think that's the thing that made me want to write this story the most. I think there are a lot of women out there facing a c-section that are thinking that might make them less of a woman or make them feel like they are forced into some clinical experience that can cheat them out of feeling like they can have a beautiful & peaceful birthing experience.

The beautiful things about childbirth are different in every case. I got a beautiful daughter. I got to laugh with my Dr. I got to be excited with my husband and giddy with hope. I had wonderful people there, complete strangers- a nurse who prayed when she thought I wasn't looking in the ER and staff that was wonderful and kind. In my case, childbirth took a village... but how beautiful is it that I didn't have to pick it, the perfect people were there at the perfect time to give me a peaceful and beautiful childbirth of an amazing and wonderful new daughter. Healthy and perfect in EVERY way.

Welcoming Anyah

I'll be posting a birth story later, but for now here are some pictures for those of you that were nice enough to follow along and pray for us in our difficult journey to bringing this beautiful little girl home.

Yesterday

Yesterday I woke up a mom of an only child. I thought about the fact that it would have been Jeromy's birthday and how much I missed him. I went about my day like I normally do taking care of Layla. I ate too much breakfast. I dealt with a toddler who fell down the stairs and ended up ok. I ate too much lunch late in the afternoon. I joked around in texts and watched TV with Jon. Then off we went to EMC to take a stress test and just when it looked like we'd go home because my blood pressure was the lowest it had ever been and Anyah was doing beautifully they found too much protien in my urine. Twenty texts to family for prayer/notification and 1 hour later we had a c section and my lovely Anyah Joelle was born just after 10 pm. She was born at 37 weeks, she is perfect. She likes breast feeding. She has a full head of dark hair like her daddy, her mom's button nose and her sister's stubborn nature. I love her so much already. *side note* Pictures later today when I am aloud to sit up at the hospital and use the free wifi. This was sent from my phone. Sorry if this isn't the best post ever written, I did have a c section 8 hours ago.

My 4 Hour Trip to the Hospital

So today was my OBGYN appointment for Anyah's weekly check up. I am still having blood pressure issues and they now include blurred vision and little balls of light flashing around in my eyes. That second one, well they worry about that because they don't want me to have a stroke and that's a threat with a history of preeclampsia and little balls of scary light.

My OBGYN wanted to have a closer look at my current health being as last time my liver issues were so sudden and severe. We went to EMC and did an OB check and a full blood panel (but I hadn't ate or drank in awhile so it took 3 tries (the third of which was in my hand- OUCH) to get those blood panels).

My blood pressure is all over the place, high then low...steady and then sometimes irratic. Anyah is lovely as always.

As a safety precaution it looks like my c-section will be moved up. But, not to today. Today we got to go home to take another 24 hour urine test, another OB test tomorrow and an appointment with my OBGYN on Friday will let us know when.

It was a long long day, especially for Jon...who got up for work today at 3:15 and has to do it again tomorrow...poor guy.

Fulfilled

Today started and ended well. The middle...well it was middle.

But oh the start, Bee-aaa-uutiful... a giggling toddler waking rested and wanting to climb all over me with kisses and pretend puppy dog play. Cuddling in bed under cool comforters and hearing stories spoken in broken toddler words about dreams that only she understands. Dancing in her Pjs. Pancakes with extra butter and syrup that I didn't have to make.

Then the end, a suprise visit from a girlfriend where my daughter played well with the baby and didn't get too jealous of Mommy and Daddy giving the baby attention when it was there to visit. A toddler then crushed when the friend and baby had to go. Good signs?

Followed by dinner with friends. BBQ that was yummy. A child that while she ran up and down the hallways (SO MUCH ROOM) was actually pretty well behaved, not very itchy and overall a good kid. Talking in the kitchen. Visiting on the couch. Feeling the baby kick all stirred up by red meat for dinner and ice cream for dessert.

DVD TV shows with the hubby in clean pajamas before bed. Time alone in a quiet and cool house to blog.

A very full heart.

Saturdays in the Sunshine

Morning chalk drawings in your PJs with bedhead and your favorite shoes on...

Playing in hot pink sand and driving trucks around the edge of the turtle sandbox in the shade...

Eventually getting hot enough to take of your pajamas and play in the pink sand in your diaper...until you were too tired to keep going...

Then putting the pink sand safely away while Mommy lets you play with the water faucet and some mud and rocks...

Tracking mud and water all over the patio because you can...

it's good to be 2 on an 80 degree day.

The Itch

This morning Layla woke up and immediately wanted to go outside and play. I managed to deter her until 8:00...it was hard...there were waffles with extra syrup and movies from holidays past involved. She finished neither.

Our back patio has evolved in the last month from a place no one ever went to her quiet place. I get that. Jon and I both need some quiet time. He likes his outside. Cool.

So now what used to be overgrown ground cover, spider webs and dust is bark and kiddie pools, sand boxes, shade umbrellas, chalk covered patio concrete and a collection of little cars, riding toys and balls that never seem to find their way back inside.

I can sit at the desktop computer in the kitchen and watch her play. The patio is too small and well kept to get into much trouble but she still tries occassionally. Or I can sit outside in the cool morning air and watch the sand slowly coat my kid while the morning sun makes her cheeks rosy. My choice.

The more time Layla spends on the patio the more I want a real yard. The patio is too small for a 2 yr old to ride a tricycle well. It's too small for a swing or a slide or anything to climb on. So she runs back and forth like an animal in a fresh air filled cage. I want her to have a bigger cage. I want her to explore further. I want grass to set out on with the baby while she plays.

It's funny how her little day dream trips outside set me off day dreaming of something else. She's perfectly content with the tiny patio with the hot pink sand box but I know she'd love more... wouldn't we all.

Why is it even being content can make us discontent?

The Final Payment

Today, I am blessed with the ability to make my final car payment. Yahoo!! When the title comes in the mail it will finally feel real but at least it's one less thing to worry about. Now we just have to catch up on some bills and I'll feel much better.

This last two years has been financially difficult but Jon and I both earned gold stars in marital relations because we've handled most of it like troupers. In fact, I just had a talk with a girlfriend about how different my marriage is than some...we have had about 2 whole real arguements ever and although sometimes someone loses their cool we seldom do it on the same day or at the same tmie so we have a pretty adult interaction record so far. Hooray for us! This will be one less stresser gone and some temporary relief while I am still out on maternity/SDI. Eventually, it will become day care funding.

It took longer than I thought for Jon and I to figure out a slightly stable standing point. We got rid of cable over a year ago. We cut back our cell phone plans because we mostly text anyhow. We don't spend a lot of money eating out or going out to do things. We've lost time with friends over the fact that we are now boring married people with a kid who never go do anything. But, when we go do something I think we actually enjoy it more because it gets to feel special because it's not something we did last Friday and the Friday before that.

We've taken risks. We've made bad decisions. And more than once we've made a step forward only to take 3 steps back. So I won't be suprised if something changes and this "phew me made it post" just makes another white line in the sand with another race to finish for us to get started on... but at least I get to enjoy the thought of it for today...right?

The Hospital Bag & Other Lessons Learned

The first time you get pregnant you think you need everything. You want to read everything. You want to KNOW everything. I have since renamed "What to expect when you're expecting" to the "what to look for if you want to panic" book because let me tell you... it's nerve wracking enough to carry a life inside you without wondering if your feet are swelling or if you have pre-eclampsia or if maybe you're toes are about to fall off from some sort of blood clot because page 149 of a mystery book said that could happen in rare cases.

I didn't fall for everything. We never had a wipes warmer for instance and somethings we bought as we went so I didn't have stacks of toddler stuff all over my house fully assembled befoer I even had a baby at home. I had learned some stuff from watching a few of my girlfriends. But I did fall for a lot of stupid things and because Layla was early there was some stuff I didn't get to do or didn't expect that haunted me for awhile after she came.

For instance, her room was ready and I had made a hospital bag to put in the car. It just wasn't in the car and it was USELESS (seriously who makes those lists of what to bring online). Jon got my bag for me and after 2 days in the hospital all I had used was my bathroom stuff and my cell phone charger and I had this HUGE pink bag of stuff I never even looked at. I did not *personally* need candles, and music, and pictures. I never once played cards or read a book/magazine before or after she came. We didn't eat the snacks. Maybe that's just us. If it helps you to have a 30 lb bag to take to and from the hospital more power to you.

This time I packed and planned a lot differently. I have a hospital bag. It has an outfit to wear home and some PJs just in case I want to dress up instead of letting my recovery ruin the nice free hospital gowns (I doubt it). This time I did remember to pack socks and a pair of ugly underwear (or 4) because last time I had to have someone bring me socks and I ruined good undergarments on the ride home. I packed my camera with an extra battery and memory card and the charger for the camera battery and my phone. I packed a toiletries bag. I packed exactly 1 book and mostly it's there this time because EMC has an H1N1 policy that will keep me from having any visitors other than my husband post delivery which means I'll spend some time alone while Jon is taking care of Layla at home. So it's a back up plan.

Last time, I had a lot of expectations. Too many years being a nice girl raised by old fashioned women I expected a TLC baby story reception for my bundle of joy. Up until my delivery, whenever someone had a baby I went to see them in the hospital. I took a small gift. I also went to see them when they got home, and I took them a casserole or a pot of something. That's what people do. I saw it on TV. My grandmother did it. My Aunt did it. No one did that with Layla. We got exactly NO homecooked meal bearing visitors. (I have since stopped taking people food because OBVIOUSLY this is so 1950's it was stupid and everyone must have thought I was crazy). But we also really didn't get many visitors at home (bonding time I guess). This time with people not being able to see us at the hospital I know people will come to the house first chance they get so I have the hubby cleaning the carpets soon and I have prepped the fridge/pantry with things *I* can cook easily while recovering from a C-section and while having house guests.

The main thing that's different this time is the Layla factor. I know I have a toddler who isn't going to see me for 3 days when Anyah comes and when I come home she's going to be all about attention and climbing on me post surgery. She'll also be rebeling from a lot of time with Nannie (which has less rules) and adjusting to a new person here. I have no way to prepare for that other than prayer. I guess next time I'll have those lessons learned to.

So yesterday someone asked me what my advice for a 1st time mom would be... here it is...

1. worry about you and baby...every one else will cope
2. don't plan for help but accept it if it comes over
3. you don't need to buy the entire baby section of Target, play smart not hard.
4. hand mittens suck as do most baby towels and you will hardly ever use them
5. not every baby is the same (some swaddle, some hate it/some co-sleep, some use a crib better/ some breast feed, some can't or won't) so do what feels right because in the end you're the one you have to spend the rest of your life with
6. ignore advice, even this advice, if you want to

A Day at Home

So what is a typical day like for you? This is what mine looks like so far today.

I got up at 7:15, I woke up a little before that but I waited for Jon's alarm to go off because I got up so many times to pee last night I was still tired. I, of course, went pee again because nothing says 9 months pregnant and antibiotics like peeing 400 times a day.

Then Jon got up and got into the shower because he works a mid-day shift today and didn't have to go to work until 8:30. While he was in the shower I got dressed because the only reason I was out of bed before Layla woke up is because a nice man was coming to fix the power/garage door today.

Getting dressed woke up the baby (7:30) and we head downstairs after she tells me not once or twice but FIVE times that daddy is in the "chower" (shower) and we open up all the blinds and unlock the door because Nannie also arrived at 7:30 with donuts to keep watch over us while I am still on partial rest.

8:00 we've had some donuts. We've watched some Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Layla has started entertaining herself with left over Easter Egg candy which she refuses to eat but enjoys sorting on the couch, counting, pretending to cook in her play kitchen and pouring back and forth between random containers.

By 8:30 I've started a pot of beans for lunch/dinner today. I wanted to make them yesterday but never got around to it because I had an errand to run and a Dr's appointment followed by a trip to Target to fill a prescription. I didn't eat much last night because dinner didn't appeal to me so I am STARVING.

9:25 the baby is still watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and playing with her collection of small rubber balls in the living room when the "electrical guy" arrives. Turns out there was a miscommunication and he only does garage doors not power outlets. He and I head out to the garage while Nannie entertains Layla to discuss our garage door issues.

*side note* the garage door has been opening and closing itself for MONTHS and sometimes it does it several times an hour. When we leave we have to unplug it because we have come home before to it wide open. Luckily no one has ever walked through the garage and helped themselves to our stuff. Also, luckily, no one has ever broken down the very cheap door between the house and the garage and robbed our house. But it freaks me out. We thought it was the frequency of the remote so we kept changing channels. No dice. After trying everything we could think of the landlady finally sent someone to look at it. *end side note*

I decide to go check on the garage door guy at 9:45 and he says the box in the garage may have gotten wet at some point because it just doesn't look right. The button by the door is also wired badly, his recommendation, replace the box, reprogram the remotes and rewire/replace the button. So I let him do that. But, we only have 1 remote at home right now. So Mom loads the toddler into her car to run to Jon's work to get the second one.

Mom arrives back to find the guy "didn't want to wait" so he taught me to program Jon's remote. If I had known that I wouldn't have sent her...but I digress. 10 am finds me standing on a chair 9 months pregnant reprograming the remote to make sure it works in case I need the guy to come back. It works. So at least that *might* be fixed.

The "electrical guy" is really a "garage door guy" and can't fix all the dead/ or crackwhore like (on then off at random) power outlets. So I call the property manager and let her know. She says she'll follow up and call me back she thought they were fixing both. I also call Allstate about the broken fence to be told they need measurements I can't provide (while 9 months pregnant) so I tell them I'll call back after Jon gets home.

10:15 The beans are pretty far along so I make corn bread. Layla wants to help. She mixes. When we are done she moves to the table, opens the donut box and eats the topping off every donut left

10:25 Nannie washes the chocolate off the toddler's hands, puts shoes on her and takes her out to play in hot pink sand for awhile because she's getting a little stir crazy (the toddler not Nannie) and I begin this blog which I will keep updating through-out the day. I also pick up a few random things because last night I ignored all logic and cleaned up because I thought a man would be crawling around looking at all my power outlets today. Now I have to maintain clean until he actually arrives and my back hurts...because I'm 9 months pregnant and shouldn't have been stupid enough to clean until 10 pm anyhow.

10:55 and it's time for Layla and Nannie to clean up and come in from playing outside. I make the toddler a healthy (NOT) lunch of chicken nuggets (hey they were wheat) and tater tots (which she didn't eat) with juice. Not even half way through our meals (mom and I had beans and cornbread of course) Layla turned around in her seat and threw up all over herself, the chair, the floor and Jon's jacket. Lovely. Time to clean that up.

11:20 the naked toddler is playing with water in the bathroom sink while Nannie finishes her lunch and Mommy cleans up the laundry/floor/chair. Then Nannie takes Layla upstairs for a bath.

11:50 bathtime is over. Time to come downstairs and spend some time drawing and watching Mommy make a cake. Nannie didn't get Layla's hair done so Mommy pulls it back really quickly and they draw while Mommy deals with the property manager again on the phone. Nannie also spends a great deal of time spinning Layla in an office chair because it's the best.ride.EVER!

12:30 the cake is done and the toddler is ready for a nap. Nannie settles into a chair downstairs while Mommy and Layla head upstairs.

1:00 Mommy gives up and comes downstairs to update this blog and have some tums because Layla is driving her crazy and not napping.

1:10 the toddler is asleep by the time Mommy leaves the upstairs bathroom.

2:00 Mommy has surfed the internet, confirmed her taxes submited, talked to the HR department in email, written back to 3 emails, written 2 blogs, uploaded pictures and checked facebook. Nannie is still napping in a chair and the toddler is asleep upstairs. Time to water house/outside garden plants.

2:05 Either the running water to fill my watering cans or the screen door opening and closes woke up the toddler. So Nannie makes Layla a snack tray with cheese and crackers and I open the garage door for Jon who still doesn't have his garage door opener.

2:20 Nannie and Layla go outside to either play in the car or go to PopPop's house. Turns out Layla wants to play in the car.

2:45 Jon arrives home and we have a nice talk on the couch because Layla and Nannie are still playing outside, Nannie also lets Layla run around on the new grass across from our driveway...which Jon and I watch through the window. Then I have a piece of cake just because I can.

4:15 the Nannie and the toddler have come inside and they clean up a little. Nannie washes the two dishes in my sink and then she's headed home for the day. We'll see her again bright and early at 7:30 tomorrow. Jon takes Layla to get the mail. We put in Jon's Stomp DVD so Layla can watch people bang on things and she plays while Jon does laundry.

Somewhere around 5:20 I acknowledge that dinner will have to be made and by 5:30 the kid is playing outside in her sandbox again while I BBQ chicken and heat up the left over beans/cornbread. I also make some noodles for the toddler and throw some applesauce on her plate.

Around 5:50 when we've moved from dinner to playing in the living room sorting jelly beans by color I decide I need to take a shower still and now looks like a good time.

Right before I go upstairs to take an actual shower Layla decides to go to her room to play. Jon joins her and distracts her so I can take a shower without someone banging on the bathroom door or staring at me through the shower curtain and offering me toys.

I finish my shower and join Jon and Layla playing in her room. I admire the toys all over the floor and try to get her to put on PJs. Instead by 6:30 I have a child running around in a clean diaper and an upstairs that looks toddlerific.

Time to go downstairs. Layla finds a movie to watch. 7:15 there is a showing of It's the Easter Beagle Charlie Brown. Surprise, Surprise. She loves this movie. I type on the blog and Jon plays on his iPhone... 45 minutes until toddler bedtime.

Toddler decided to fade out early and ended up having a glass of milk and her allergy meds all before 8 pm. By 8:10 she was tucked in the family bed with a book and her bedtime lantern and Jon and I were downstairs watching Bones on DVD. That includes the time it took Jon to get a piece of cake and for me to pick up the toys upstairs before coming down to join him. Good times.

Watched Bones and ate cake until around 11:30. Jon gets up for work at 3:30 so he cut me off after the last episode. Then we headed up to bed. It was too hot for me so I came back downstairs to look on the internet and try to get sleepy. When I left the bed, Layla was a little restless and Jon was looking not yet asleep so hopefully everyone upstairs is well on their way to peaceful slumbers.

And now it's 12:01... officially tomorrow.

**things you may have noticed** I tend to do a lot of resting while blogging, surfing the internet, talking on my cell phone, visiting with my husband. I am on partial rest which means I am lucky enough to not be forced to lay in bed all day every day. Having said that on uncomfortable or high blood pressure days I spend a lot of time laying in bed on my left side...today just wasn't that day. Also, I cook most if not all of the meals, even if they are meals that suck...cooking calms me...partial rest does not calm me as much as making something amazing so I pace myself. Lastly, cleaning while 9 months pregnant and high risk is both stupid and painful...you shouldn't do it. I just have so much anxiety that I haven't found a way not to... don't be me ***end disclaimer/fact paragraph**

That was a day in my life. Have you ever live blogged a day of your life? It's interesting, and it's a good way to look back and go "wow my life was different way back when". You should give it a try.

Sonograms and Daydreaming

This is Anyah at 37 weeks chillin in her comfy baby bump blowing some bubbles. Fun times. I like how she's resting her little arm over her eyes like she can't be bothered with us looking at her. It might break her chill.

She's in a lot of fluid so she's pretty comfy I bet. That lots of fluid is why they say I can't feel her much. Which, by the way, is much less scary then when they said she might be really small or not developing. She rocks at developing well.

Mommy has issues, she has anxiety, high blood pressure and now a rockin little infection (complete with antibiotics) but Anyah...she's just peachy. She has round little cheeks and her sisters button nose.

So while she's daydreaming away in there I think I'll sit around out here and daydream about her arrival... at least until next week when they take another peek at her and see if it's time for her to come out and play yet.

Post-natal Top Ten

There are a few things about being pregnant that I am NOT going to miss at all. These are the top 10 things I am looking forward to after Anyah is born.

10. Not having to pee 300 times a day with great urgency. It's not the number of trips but the speed at which you discover you must go and then have to get there to go... annoying.

9. Being able to clean my own house. Gosh it's a mess here...a big cluttery mess.

8. Making real food again. Being as I can't stand for long we've been eating a lot of easy to cook processed crap. I want to go back to eatting real food ASAP after Anyah comes and her birth is right around when the Farmer's Market opens...so there is hope.

7. Picking up my toddler when she cries. God it kills me when my kid is crying and I have to tell her she has to sit with me on the floor. I know this will take awhile post c-section but I still miss it.

6. Driving... and the freedom that comes with it. There are a ton of things I would love to do with Layla (even now) that I just can't do because I can't drive there.

5. Fixing my right hip. My hip has been out for over a month. Post baby I'll probably get a chiropractor appointment if it doesn't fix itself.

4. Eatting forbidden foods. Somewhere there is a margarita and some sushi with my name on them.

3. Holding my newborn daughter and seeing what she looks like.

2. Making out with my husband. Jon's got this whole long hair thing going on right now. It's hot. Real hot.

1. Sleeping on my stomach. (What you thought it would be something more spiritual or meaningful?) I SOOOO miss being able to sleep comfortably. I want to lay on my tummy and tuck a pillow under my head and sleep...even if it's only for 2 hours between feedings.

Widget

Today one of my girlfriends texted me and said "so how far along are you now" and my answer was "I have a sonogram on Wednesday" to which she wrote back "but how many weeks are you now" and I didn't know. I seriously have lost all track of time. I had to go to facebook and check my widget countdown. I am 36 weeks (or 37 depending on who you ask).

In less than 3 weeks (no matter what) I'll have a baby in my arms instead of my tummy... sooner if that ultrasound says it should be.

Today I checked the mail, it's Sunday... I figured that out 3 hours later. Yes... 3 hours.

The toddler didn't nap today and there is a rain storm here for some unknown reason and all I want in life is to sleep comfortably but I can't because there is some random pain in my right hip that never goes completely away. And, as a result, I have no idea what day it is, how many weeks along I am or where I put down my Pepsi.

I wonder if they make a "where is my Pepsi" widget?

Crash

Yesterday, my mom and I got Layla a turtle sandbox and some of the Crayola brand colored sand (not that they endorsed this but I highly recommend this sand it was the perfect consistency for a toddler). In the afternoon, Layla spent over an hour playing quietly in the backyard until the urge to spread hot pink sand all over the patio took over and I forced her to come inside and take a bath (hot pink sand does cover a toddler rather similar to fairy dust eventually). I put the turtle's shell on top to keep kitties out of our new play area and went inside.

It's a great toy.

Last night at 11:30, Jon and I had just finished our 3rd episode of Psych (season 2 in case you're curious) and we headed up to bed. Jon had been up since 3 am and I hadn't gotten a lot of sleep the night before because I'm to the stage of pregnancy where I am always uncomfortable and I always have to pee. So into bed we climb and right about the time we both got the toddler/pillow situation fixed there was a huge ruckus in the back yard.

The sound started off a lot like animals chasing each other but when it evolved to include voices, and fences being broken (although we didn't know that's what it was at the time) I had Jon sit up to see what it was. Looking down into the patio he had a great view of a few people hopping our patio fence. Downstairs he went in a flash and on to the patio to scream at the person while I grabbed my phone and started dialing 911.

Turns out some teenagers in a nearby apartment complex were doing some drinking and pot smoking and when the police came they took off running. They ran along the apartment complex behind us and then when they hit the fence with no where to go they jumped into our yard. And then the next yard...all the way to the street they played leap frog through people's patios breaking things and knocking them over.

While I talked to dispatch & checked with the neighbor to see if the tiny dog they keep in a cage on the other side of our fence was ok, Jon took off down the driveway of our complex barefooted in his pjs. I went upstairs and calmed down the baby who woke up when Jon started yelling on the patio and changed into better pajamas in case the cops came back to talk to me. Eventually, he spotted one of the girls from the group and after the police had wrapped up the teenagers they could find he headed back home. Then because he's a good guy he took a flashlight and checked the patio of the people we know in the complex who weren't home.

The whole thing was a matter of about 20 minutes. It kept Jon up a little past 12:30 because of addrenaline and what not. I didn't get to sleep until almost 1:45 and of course I got up to pee twice before Layla got up this morning. I was so crashed out this morning that she ended up playing in our room until almost 8 because no one had the strength to get up with her. Poor thing.

Today or tomorrow I get to talk to the complex manager about our broken fence (it's up it just sways now) and Jon will pop the top on the turtle (which someone stepped on to get over the fence) back to it's natural shape. All in all we were lucky, there is a BBQ and some other stuff out there that would have sucked if they broke it.

Stupid kids.

The People Watcher

So curious. Too curious to eat. Too curious to talk to Mommy & Daddy. Too many people we've never seen before...

this little baby- another update

So now that the OBGYN appointments are weekly, you'll be getting one of these awesome little update blogs about once a week...lucky you.

Today I had my mom pick me up and take me to my appointment. Originally, she didn't go in with me as she wanted to do iPhone things in her comfy car. I didn't have to wait long because I was the 2nd appointment of the day and the first girl was barely pregnant (nurses words not mine).

I got the results from my 24 hour urine and my blood test and the short answer is I have preeclampsia but just a little. My blood pressure was actually down after having Jon home a lot the last two days, getting lots of rest and moving my appointment to the mornings when I haven't had Layla pushing my buttons all day but my bottom number was still a little high. That part, the drop in BP made my OBGYN sigh a little in relief. They like it when "rest" works.

I am still super anemic even with the 2 iron pills I am taking a day. So I get to keep doing that. My poor tummy was sad to hear that.

Then we went on to talk about movement. Anyah doesn't move much. When she moves she moves for awhile but she probably only has 2 periods of movement a day. That worried him a little. My belly hadn't changed size and I had lost a pound of the water weight I put on last week (actually I think I lost most of the water weight and put on some weight because let me tell you I have been eating and EATING and eating).

So the lack of "growth" and the sparse movement red flagged me for a Neo-stress test on the monitor. I texted my mom in the parking lot and she came in to keep me company (who wants to sit in a parking lot for another 30 minutes- not her).

Anyah hated the test. She kicked the fetal monitor so many times they eventually gave up and had a nurse come HOLD IT DOWN for 15 minutes. Poor girl. So the answer to that issue is if you want my kid to move, just strap something to her "space" she appearantly hates that.

Next week we get a sonogram to make sure she's growing even though I'm not really. That's the IUGR thing I mentioned last week. They just want to make sure she's not exceptionally small being as usually at this point people put on 1 to 2 lbs per week and well...we're just not doing that.

Her heartrate was fine though...high from all that exercise kicking the monitor for awhile and then totally normal. So I think she's probably fine, but better safe than sorry.

The last 2 days

Yesterday, my mom was here in the morning to help watch Layla and we went to breakfast because the pregnant lady needed IHOP pancakes. I was well rested despite Easter being the day before and it was no big thing...

Last night, I was a wreck with "oh my god I'm gonna have a baby in 30 days or less" anxiety so I stayed up later than late and watched Sherlock Holmes on DVD while I attempted to de-toddler my floors and finish up the dishes.

So of course...Layla woke up this morning at 6:15 thanks to the neighbors having a screaming matching in their back yard about how their screaming match was going to wake their own kids. Thanks jerks.

It's been a day of using the "parent" voice and counting to 3 over and over and over again. I'm exhausted.

Tomorrow is my next OBGYN appointment so I hope I actually get some sleep tonight.

Why?

Why is it that if one of you looks good in the picture...

then the other one doesn't look so good...
I mean why is that?

Also, you can totally check out my 9 month preggers belly in these...totally fun!!

Easter

I had planned out an Easter with frilly pink dresses, overflowing well thought-out baskets and Easter Egg Hunting at Nannie's house. Then I got pregnant and the well thought-out basket overflowed into a Minnie Mouse themed basket surrounded by a pile of eggs that wouldn't even fit in it because I didn't plan well. The weather and the theory that Papa (who has a cat) was coming to lunch at Nannie's house put the frilly pink dress on hold for the practical overalls, pink converse and pig tails. The Easter Egg hunting though...that worked out just how I imagined (and lunch- lunch was good).

Sometime in the next week or so I'll post pictures of her opening her Easter basket this morning at the foot of our bed. I'll show you the way that she sorted all the candies, ate the M&M's, fed her new stuffed Minnie the jelly beans and ignored the rest. I'll post the pictures of her hunting eggs with Daddy and playing T-ball in Pop-Pop's back yard. I have pictures of spinning in circles with Nannie and eating a hotdog with a fork like a big girl.

I have lots of pictures and wonderful memories of Layla's last holiday as an only child. Evident in every picture is my 9 month along pregnant belly. By this time next year I'll have one crawling around trying to suck on eggs and one hunting them... a lovely thing indeed.

At Home

The longer I am home with Layla the more I am baffled by how quickly she is picking things up. Given how eager she is to learn to do new things I think it's time Mommy bit the bullet on that whole potty training thing. I am thinking of starting Monday (so I don't have to worry about potty breaks on Easter).

The longer I am home the more I am frustrated by how unusable some of our space is here. I feel like there is stuff all around me...oh nevermind...that's just the toddler destroying the floor for the 4th time today with a bucket of toys.

The longer I am home the more I have an overwhelming nesting desire to own cabinets of food in order to have everything we'll need when Anyah comes. It's like my brain forgets the grocery store will still be available after I give birth. It's not like Jon won't go to the store when I ask him to.

The longer I am home the more I wonder what it will be like to have 2 kids, to go back to work, to not have a car payment, to actually get an SDI check in the mail (what is taking so long people), to sleep without being uncomfortable, to fit in my clothes, to be able to see new baby eyes and hold her tiny feet in my hands.

The longer I am home, the longer it feels like I have to wait...even though my brain knows the time is drawing closer.

Mud Pies

When I was little I had a special place in my heart for the mud pie. By the age of about 4, I was all about mixing water and mud and then making it pretty with tiny pink blossoms that used to blow down from the tree outside our back door in the springtime. So I was not at all suprised when given 2 inches of water and her beach bucket set, along with 10 minutes outside alone on the patio... well... that she did this.

It's genetic. And- it's good fun. Except now I'm the mom and I look at name brand pants and white shoes and I let out a little sigh. This non-helicopter parenting thing is harder than it looks.

At least she didn't try to convince me it was real pie and make me eat it. She was just content to mix it. Which is awesome- because it was April's Fools Day so I might have fallen for it.