Monday, April 26, 2010

Love Reality

*disclaimer* pay no attention to the house in this picture, it's been a long week and it was laundry day

I was worried about a gap. I was worried I would love one more than the other. I was worried there wouldn't be enough love to go around.

As a baby grew inside me I felt my attachment to it grow. As I waited for her arrival I felt myself mourn the relationship with my only child as I knew it would change. It was an organic change I know...but it scared me.

The moment Anyah arrived I noticed it. My love changed. It was like my soul had compartments and hers just opened and the love it had always been there waiting to be assigned. It was her love waiting to meet her.

Her love met Layla's love in a special place in my heart and it mixed. I can't tell it apart anymore. I couldn't within moments of having two daughters.

I brought Anyah home. Layla and Anyah met. Their love mixed, their hearts opened, their souls already knew each other they were just waiting for their time together.

I have a toddler who is giving (she brings her gifts) and playful (she tickles her toes and boops her nose). I have a toddler who is whimsical, intellegent, dependent and full of courage. I have a baby she is calm, open, trusting, and waiting for her other life skills to show themselves.

I have daughters, two sisters... who already know the sound of each other. They know each others cries and try to heal each others broken hearts. They have the same nose, the same angry face and the same grace. They are growing together every day and I feel so blessed.

They have love because they are love, it's what they were made from.

3 comments:

love said...

Yay, yay, YAY!!!! So happy for you all! It is amazing the capacity our hearts have to love, isn't it?! Oh, so glad you let me know! Enjoy this precious time. I'm honored to pray for you.

Mel said...

That is beautiful Allie!! I love it! It truly is amazing how they just click as sisters...and how we think that we won't have enough love for all our kids and that someone will fill left out and yet there is somehow a perfect amount of love. I am glad Layla is so into her little sister...wait until the time when Anyah can REALLY interact with Layla it is truly one of the cutest things to watch two sisters play together on the floor, laughing at eachother and having fun!!!

AussieJenn said...

Beautiful.