Christmas Traditions

When you are little Christmas is easy. You go to bed late and when you wake up Santa has left you an overwhelming wealth of presents and happiness. There is great food. People to play with and everything is cloaked in the magic of the season. Then one day... you aren't little anymore.

Sometime after the origin of the Santa gifts becomes less magical and after you realize someone has to do the dishes there are a few years of akward familiarness. The few years when you are too old to see the glitter on the fireplace as enchanting and too young to be a slave to commercialism and the demands of others.

Later when you realize that it's your year to make the turkey or your turn to stay up till 2 am to help an Elf make a bicycle. Suddenly, it's not so magical. Christmas becomes work.

Shopping used to be fun. Then you grow up and you see long lines, high prices, an ever growing list of children and in-laws and that overwhelming feeling that you will never be done wrapping. Too much paper, not enough scotch tape and at least one misguided swear word later you start to promise yourself that next year will be different. Next year you will not go into debt, next year you will do more for others in need. Next year you won't be miserable. By next year... you forget.

Cooking christmas cookies and helping grandma make a pie used to be exciting and involked the passion of the season. By the time you're in your teens the coolness of frosting bags and little sprinkles is replaced by that feeling that there are better things that could be done with your time. As an adult you reinstate that same cookie cutter and recipe thinking that the traditions of christmas will be filled with joy again if only you could get some caroles on and get the kids to paint the perfect snowflake or build an adorable gingerbread house.

Christmas day itself has been moved from whimsical displays of love and kindness to a day filled with grunting as you lug around a 20 pound bird filled with 10 pounds of stuffing and wonder why everyone vanishes when it's time to peel 10 pounds of potatos and 5 pounds of carrots. Christmas is work. You sweat and you labor and you wish it was someone else's job.

The traditions of Christmas evolve from this. The things we tell ourselves MUST be done. The things we think will make Christmas magical for our children and enjoyable for our relatives are the things that make us...and usually them... miserable.

A few years ago I decided to take a new approach to Christmas. After the passing away of all the family matriarchs I found a lot of freedom in not being told what to do. Not that I don't miss them, I really really miss them. But I started to Pollyanna effect the holidays. Examples...

Christmas trees and lights. I love to decorate but my childhood was filled with "NO the Nativity HAS to go on the MANTEL" memories. So when I decorate now I put whatever, where-ever. People love it. My house is welcoming and filled with the decorations of the season. But it isn't overwhelming. It isn't everywhere. Maybe just a little bit in each room. And it packs down into two nice little tubs in the shed. I don't dread putting it up because I can get it all done in less than a day and I don't dread pulling it down because I know how fast it went up and things always come down easier than they go up.

Stuff the Stockings & Gifts Galore. I replaced this practice with a simple rule. Two gifts per person. One nice. One small. MAXIMUM. Sometimes you only get one gift. Hey I don't have a quota. The only exception is the Hubby. He and I have a dollar limit. And as for the stockings. Two or three small things and a few pieces of candy is more than enough guilty workout motivation from Santa. When I have kids...Santa will be bringing one unwrapped toy to go with that stocking. Period. I wrap as I buy too. I buy wrapping paper on the first trip and NOTHING gets stored in the house without being wrapped. I also give people gifts they could use before Christmas. Like toddler toys, or SPA gift certificates because there is something to be said for giving people the option to be happy throughout the month of December with your gift.

I replaced Twas the Night Before Christmas with the Book of Luke last year. It helps us keep our focus. I don't put out the Nativity till the night before Christmas because Mary and Joseph did NOT spend all of December praying in the hay. It also makes the Nativity more of a center piece for the kids who come over. It's not drowned out by the tree. It's new. It's important.

Baking is my bane. I'm not a great baker. I used to cater. I can cook you every meal you can imagine but I just don't like to bake. I don't get joy from being covered in flour. I don't feel excited when I give or get a box of cookies. I just don't get it. If you get it...that's great...to each their own... but I don't get it. So I bake the things I like to eat. I make one batch each of fudge, peanut butter fudge and my few favorite types of cookies. Then I put them on the table and people eat them. I don't wrap them in pretty things, I don't decorate them. They are edible. I consume them.

Parties are my thing. I don't stress out. I like to plan. I LOVE to cook. I love themes. I also like things that don't require much work. I have one christmas party every year. I ask people to come in their pjs. I don't allow cameras. I call it the Back in the Day Party. I make things we like to eat when we are five (mac & cheese, hot dogs, pizza bites, tater tots etc) and we all watch Christmas movies and sometimes we play board games. I make people bring 1 dozen cookies or a dessert of their choice. Store bought is ok. That way I don't have to bake and they don't have to try very hard. The party is all day long. It is come and go as you please. People love it. You can bring your kids. It's SUPER easy!!

I stopped going to Christmas pagents, festivals and parties unless I actually want to go to them. You would be amazed at how much more I like the holidays now that I'm not forced to watch other people's kids do boring things or sit through yet another couples dinner party. Granted once I have kids of my own I'll be back in the kids event circle but for now I'm taking a vacation.

I also stopped doing Christmas cards. Instead I call people. All 40 of them. I call them and talk to them for 15-20 minutes each over the month of December. Then I put the $40.00 bucks I would have spent on cards in the offering plate at church. The thing is, most of the people who get a Christmas card I see ALL THE TIME. I mean daily at work, once a week at church, once a month at a family gather, randomly for friends. They don't need a newsletter and I can give them something better than a personalized sentence in the bottom of a photo card. I can give them a moment of my time to talk, laugh or vent.

In fact the only Christmas tradition I'm holding on to is Christmas dinner. My family was very interactive when I was little. We had advent calendars, big decorations, huge parties and large piles of presents. But the thing I cherished most was Christmas dinner. I love the food. I love the stories and I love fact that people are all together. I do it a little differently every year. But the basics stay the same. Everyone comes, everyone laughs, everyone eats and everyone loves. Turkey is optional, side dishes sometimes flop, once someone even had too much to drink and passed out before the food was served. But you can't go wrong with the tradition of being a family. After all, wasn't that what the very first moment of the very first Christmas was about?

Luke 2:6-7 "While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn."

So I want to know what your Christmas Traditions are. What brings your family joy during this time of year? Tell me in the comments or put a link to your blog and I'll come read them. What traditions have you stopped doing, which ones do you cherish, what are you hoping to add to the line up.... what parts of Christmas matter most to you?