What's this?

Have you ever been in a good relationship with someone and have them do something non-climatic and suddenly flashback to a previous relationship and the way things were horrible and not be able to stop yourself from becoming either ragingly mad, moderately bitter, or pitifully scared? Have you ever done that?

Perhaps someone will call you and tell you about the plans they are making with someone and you'll flash back to how someone else used to do that and how it lead to them ultimately abandoning you and forcing you to break ties with their friendship and you will suddenly become fully aware of your own insecurities and wonder if you will have to walk the same path with this person. Then it gets akward...the silence crawls in and the night takes over your thoughts, parnoid and alone. You think about it too much. You want to scream and cry.

That's the enemy. That's satan in your head doing his best to make you doubt that you are whole. Are you good enough for them? Will they hurt you? Will they abandon you? Remember what it was like before, he whispers. Take caution and push away he silently urges. But then somewhere in the retreat in your head you can still see the glimpse of reality.

Small but pure the hope of something pure and better can pull you through. Talk it out. Pull yourself towards it with all that is in you. Find strength in it's dim light for the closer you get to the light the smaller the shadows will appear. Don't let it win.