Apologies lose value when you give them all the time for everything. It's not good enough to always be sorry. Sometimes you actually have to be accountable. You are toxic and I not willing to poison myself with your bitter love.
It is not what you didn't provide that makes me angry, it's that you think it's ok to make me feel guilty for wanting a relationship with you when I was born into a relationship with you and it is my God given right to have one.
You call on the phone and my heart explodes, shattered shards of glass scatter themselves around my feet and I stumble away cutting myself further as I try to minimize my emotional response because you have told me that I have no right to it. But my perception of life is my reality and my emotions are not yours to command around.
You have replaced me with your perception of family. You have abandoned your own kind and become someone new. That is your right, to change and adapt and become a new you. But it is my right to walk away if I do not want to know the new you anymore.
You asked me once what the Christian thing to do was? It was to love you and to forgive... but not to forget. God doesn't make me forget that I can be loved well. So, I'm going to spend my time with people who love me well... and when you remember how you used to do that...give me a call...
I'll be here... praying that you've finally figured it out.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
That is something I could send to Mother. I don't know who it was to in your life but I hope it gets better. I have actually given up on mine!
Post a Comment