Tuesday, May 25, 2010

A feeling I want to experience again...

When I am pregnant I feel beautiful. Suddenly, the parts of me that I love the most...they seem so much more lovely and the parts of me I am not so proud of? Well they vanish into the blurred lines and rounded edges.
Some people don't like it. Being pregnant. But, I have never felt as sexy or alive as I have when I am growing life. The roundness of a belly full of life feels powerful and filled with purpose. Rosy cheeks and the twinkle in your eye that only comes with knowing something amazing is happening every day right inside of you puts a little extra pop in my step. I love the curves of breasts bursting to maintain life.
I love that no matter how big you are when you are pregnant you never have to feel pressured to suck in your gut. I love that other people sparkle when you tell them how far along you are. I love the way you have to spread across a bed to get comfortable and you can lay there and feel someone you love but have never met moving inside you. I love the way Jon looks at me sometimes when he thinks I am not looking...like he is proud of us.
I'd like to know what it's like to feel that confident and beautiful when I am not pregnant. I'd like to know what it's like to accept the parts of me that aren't ample and full of new baby wonder. I'd like to teach my daughters what that feels like too...to feel more beautiful that you did on your wedding day, to glisten with hope while others look at you, to be unabashed with joy... after all, in a way...it's a feeling they taught me.

No comments: