Tuesday, May 18, 2010

What are you saying goodbye to?

Sometimes I just want to sit down and write. I want to write about nothing but something. I want things to flow. I want a post not about my kids or my day. I want to remember what it was like to think about something and really talk about it.

Welcome to my New Topic Today. Feel free to take this idea and run with it. I am using a random writing prompt generator and writing about it each week. The weeks topic will be the title of the blog. (If you use the topic please link up so I can go read it)



What are you saying goodbye to?

I wake up in a tangle of quilts and tiny limbs. The toddler on one side and the baby on the other.

Little legs are thrown over me with reckless abandon and in her safe slumbers the two year old has placed one of her feet squarely on top of my bladder. I need to get up but I don't want to. I want to lay there and drink in the last few days of co-sleeping with her.

I want wrap myself around her and smell her sweaty little head. I want to kiss her cheeks that despite being washed before bed will be magically sticky. I want to grab that little set of two year old toes and memorize it with my hands.

It's all about to change.

The baby on the other side of me starts to grunt and squeek. Morning is coming. Soon the baby will be bouncing next to me to the rhythm of a toddler jumping on the bed and we'll all be alive and awake.

I roll to look at our newest arrival and I take in her tiny bed head, the crusties in her eyes and the way she squirms about looking for me with her eyes closed. I trace her tiny fingers with my other hand.

I close my eyes and take in the sounds of deep breathing and comfort all around me. I savor the last few moments before I say good bye to the quiet. I savor the last few days before I say goodbye to co-sleeping with my eldest. I savor the last few clear thoughts before my day becomes a blur of newborn moments.

It tastes like a goodbye. Salty tears of a torn heart mixed with the sweetness of what is yet to come.

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