I had someone ask me about a month back how come I stopped inviting someone in Jon's family to things. They asked me if not inviting them made me a bad Christian and accused me of not forgiving them. I told that person that I was forgiving them but I wasn't allowing them to continue to ruin the family and friend events that I had other loved ones at.
I figured it was nicer to stop inviting someone than it was to invite twenty other people to an event where they had to feel slightly uncomfortable when that someone got angry or frustrated or whatever random over the top emotion they felt like having at my event. I think they have the right to have emotions but I don't think they have the right to inflict others with a bad time.
In other words, I love you but shut the heck up.
Recently, a member of Jon's family brought a person into the family dynamic who had past drama. Would I have done that? Nope. But you know what, she's a more forgiving and loving person than I am sometimes so I'm following her lead and I'm trying to be friendly and inviting. I'm trying to lead by example and it's not easy.
So tonight at the family dinner when the person not pictured refused to be in a family picture I felt bad for that new guy. I felt bad that for the people visiting from Canada who only wanted one silly picture to take home for them. But I didn't feel bad for the guy too stubborn to sit next to his wife and be seen with his family... because I'm a Christian... but I'm not perfect.