Saturday, March 20, 2010

Only Child

Layla is in her last days as an only child... something that I am very aware of as a mom and as someone who spent most of my life as an only child. I know she's probably too little to remember the ice cream cones and the time "racing" around the front yard to get my attention. Right now she worries about stealing my attention away from my conversations with other adults, the phone, dinner making, the laptop screen...and soon there will be another little person in the mix. So I guess I'm being a little more cuddly in bed and a little more willing to let bedtime be a little later than normal while my only puppy pretends to play fetch.

I worry about what it means to have two babies...a concept I've never had to personally deal wiht on my own. But mainly, I worry about losing a little of that spit fire girl with the stripped tights and the polka dot dresses that I spend so much time with lately. I hope she never feels like 1 of 2. I want her always to have the confidence to be who she is and to love wildly and live freely.

In that same time I worry that she will take time to adapt to feeling like part of a bigger family because I want her to know the feeling of companionship and love that comes with the comfort of having a sibling so close in age...a constant comrade if you ever really need one. I want her to always know that they can be 2 verses the world. Together.

Maybe it's a really pregnant thing to worry. Maybe it's a mom thing. Maybe it's just a me thing. But it tells me I must be on the right path because I know if I am thinking about it then it wouldn't accidently slip passed me.

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