Wishful Thinkin'

There is an overwhelming urge to have everything ready at this point in my pregnancy and while I know I won't have bills paid off or money saved up I'd at least like to know that I have a stack of diapers to last awhile and some pacifiers and bottles if I need them.

It's about a week and a half until my baby shower so in the meantime I am trying to entertain my nervous energy by prepping the things I do have. All the baby clothing is clean (what we own) and in Anyah's dresser. Jon put up the crib this week as a suprise and today I put her bedding in her bed. Jon pulled the carseat out of the dark corners of Layla's closet and made sure it was on the smallest setting and then I put the little baby head liner in it for Anyah.

I am not allowing myself to look at my registry at this point, even if I add something new I tell myself I am not allowed to look. Mainly, I am not looking because I know the list of invites to my shower was very small (only people I really wanted to see/share Anyah's celebration with) and I also know that RSVP's aren't due until the 10th and at this point there have only been a few of them... so I don't want to look and PANIC because I'm sort of prone to panic in both it's smaller case and ALL CAPITAL LETTERS forms.

This weekend I am going to distract myself with trying to figure out what goes in Layla's Easter basket this year. I'm hoping after last years 3 basket holiday that this year I will be the only person making an actual basket and anyone else will pass on the tiny containers of candy because I am sort of looking forward to not having to pry chocolate away from my toddlers death grip... I can dream.

My mother will be hosting our Easter at my Pop's house. We're gonna hide eggs in the grass and eat BBQ. I'll be 9 months pregnant and I am over joyed at taking that one worry off my list.

Other none important but still worry inducing things I am currently wasting time thinking about too much...

Pop's crazy wife is in the hospital (which is actually good news because she was being ill/hurt and crazy melodramatic at his house and it was gonna kill him and result in my mom going to jail for smothering an old crazy woman with a pillow in her sleep).

My birthday is coming and I am not entirely sure the people I asked to hang out with will actually have the time for me (irrational, no?) and I am not sure what to do about spending time with family etc because I know everyone is broke but it's still my birthday, yo.

This is the joy of pregnancy hormones... you know it's crazy... but you still worry about nothing.

Just think...I'm 31 weeks...at 36 and a half weeks we had a date to induce Layla.

Gosh this time went a lot faster...