Giving National Lampoons A Run For Their Funny

So this morning I awoke to find the Christmas tree had gone from charmingly crooked to dangerously diagonal. After over an hour of my hubby grunting under a tree we had to take all the decorations off the tree and lug it outside to find out that our tree has a 3.5 inch diameter trunk and our stand doesn't close that small. Sigh. So off the the orchard supply store where we wrangle some cute highschool aged helper into letting us open a stand, assemble it and find out how small it gets (it's gets as large as 8" according the the not so helpful wrapper). Finally through the line and of course we run into someone we know (me in my no bra sweatshirt I slept in look and a hubby looking like he's on the hunt for the man who ran his grandmother over with a reindeer. Back home and it's 15 minutes before we both have a headache and an upright tree.

Hubby takes off with his brother to do some shopping for us girls. They end up at JC Penney who screws my brother in law out of $50.00 by claiming a display sign expired the day before at 9 am. By the time they get home a few hours later I've got the tree redecorated and I've vacuumed three times to make sure the baby won't be eating pine needles.

Brother in law and hubby start decorating the outside of the house. After untangling the icle lights from my last place we discover we don't have enough working lights and that we don't have enough extension cords. So after my pants finally come out of the dryer (I personally thing the phrases "waiting for water to boil" or "like watching grass grow" should be replaced with "waiting for jeans to dry") I take off to slay some extension cords from Walmart (otherwise known as the armpit of society) and to charm some poor sells rep into giving me money back for the jacket they over charged my brother in law for.

The jacket thing I did in about 20 minutes. Thankfully the lord took pity on me and because I was nice...so did the sales clerk. $50 refund in hand I went to the Walmart. Walmart shoppers, people who use the toy isles as a babysitter and a bell ringer that used a curse word and 15 minutes later I left thankful that for my holiday part I didn't destroy someone's holidays.

Hark the Herald Angels Sing all the way home blasting from my partially unrolled windows so my wet hair could dry (hey it's CA). I came home to find my porch decorated and the boys playing video games. I'm off now to finish some Chicken Parm. in the oven and then we've got eight people coming over to play video games. Sweet. So sweet a funny simple Saturday.