Reminder

"You can not protect yourself from sadness with out also protecting yourself from happiness."

-Jonathan Safran Foer-

This is one of the quotes I use often. I use it when I talk to my friends, my family, and sometimes even strangers. I use it mostly when I have those internal conversations with myself at 3:00 am when I think about how my ability to trust people has changed over the years.

When I was young I trusted every one. I loved with the heart of a child that had never been betrayed. I played pretend games of house, school and a day in town. In my games the imaginary people were filled with love and trusted one another. They helped each other. They taught each other. They had no reason to be left out, to be alone or to be sad.

Then I grew older and my imagination was replaced by friends from school. We played together. We loved each other. More than loving each other though we loved the feeling of being one of the group. We loved having laughter together. We loved how it made us feel. We loved these things because we had begun to realize that not everyone is part of a group. Not everyone has someone who cares enough to make them happy. Not everything made us feel good.

Older yet I learned that I didn't have to trust someone to love them. This is a scary concept. I love you because of what you "could" be not because of what you are is a concept that gets lots of women in trouble.

Today I am as old as I have ever been. As I proceed into tomorrow I am making a steady effort to remember to trust people. To remember that I should be loving them. And to look for the good...