When you are trying to concieve everything is about the two week wait. Two weeks of not knowing if you're going to be drinking wine with dinner or taking pre-natal vitamins for the next thirty days. Two weeks of constant anticipation. It was an unbearable sort of anxiety waiting to know if I was pregnant or not. I was very excited when I got pregnant at the thought of not having to wait like that again for several months, if not longer.
But I have found something that gives me much more anxiety than that two week wait to see if there is a viable baby. Ironically enough, it is the one week wait that you get when it's almost time for the anatomy scan. After you find out that you are in fact pregnant, this is probably the second biggest hurdle you are going to face.
The honest truth is what you'll find out at that scan. Is the baby ok? Is it a girl? Is it a boy? Is it big? Is it small? Is it growing correctly? Are you doing a good job? There is a lot of hope on that one week wait and a lot of fear. Fear that the unexpected will unfold. Fear that the you're doing something wrong. Fear that your child will be shy and cross it's legs so you won't get to plan the perfect nursery. You know important stuff like that.
One week from today at exactly this time I will know if I am giving birth to a boy or a girl. And while that doesn't seem important after being high risk for so long...there is a sense of impending reality when it comes to talking about it and seeing it on my calendar.
One week... the longest wait ever.
3 comments:
I feel ya! The wait between appointments when I was pregnant with Travis was FOREVER!!! Thank goodness for the doppler!!!! Hugs!
The wait until the big ultrasound was the hardest for me as well. I'm not going to say out loud all the things that worried me because there's a chance you haven't thought of everything to be freaked out about, and I certainly don't want to add to the weight on your shoulders... So I'll tell you how I felt going into the ultrasound. Like when I was going to hear the heartbeat for the first time, I felt, even more, that I was meeting my baby for the first time. I had all the first date jitters. I shaved my legs, wore a pretty outfit, put on makeup. (Ironically, the clinic had me strip down to my socks and bra and wear a gown). When the scan was taking place, I wasn't weeping, but there was a constant stream of tears pouring down my cheeks. It was just so exciting and magical to see Ben on the screen.
you think that's a long wait? just wait till you are 37 weeks pregnant and you have no idea how much longer till you will have the baby! that's a longer wait! I can't wait to find out with you, though. we'll all be waiting!
God bless!
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