Down Pour

As I sit typing this my daughter is screaming in the next room. Now before you give me the bad parent of the year lecture, let me explain.

Up until two weeks ago Layla slept in her crib for all naps and she always went to bed without a fuss. While her godmother was here she had a cold and I made the mistake a couple times when she was over tired of laying down with her in our bed. Now she's addicted.

Let me tell you people, I don't have time to nap. I'm looking for a job. I'm prepping a yardsale. I have dishes to do. And when you lay down next to a peaceful baby, you always nap.

Yesterday I started the graduation back into napping alone. I put her in bed and let her cry it out a few times, eventually caving after over 45 minutes and putting her in bed with me. Last night I sat in the room, I didn't talk to her I was just there... until she crashed out. Today... today she has so far cried for 11 minutes.

I'm sitting in here crying too. I hate the sound of it. I've peeked in twice to make sure she isn't caught in the side of the crib but I know she's not. It's a different kind of cry.

So I turned on the dishwasher, turned up the TV and sat down to type hoping her cry would melt into the white noise. I focus on other things. And I wait. Because, I know this won't kill her... or me... but that doesn't mean it doesn't feel like dying.