Friday, June 05, 2009

I Feel More Free

There was a moment when I was writing my last blog where in full anxiety attack horror I clicked "save to draft" and thought, I can never post that. Ironically, I clicked away and started reading blogs that I like to read. Reading anonymous secrets and blogs about how freeing writing the truth can be written by normal every day mom's with regular lives they are swirled up in made me come back. I read about feeling more free.
I needed to be free.
So I went back...and I re-read and edited and kept going and then I hit publish and in a moment of almost sheer panic I thought about deleting it. So I walked away...just five minutes to breath, I thought.
And I didn't go back. Within the five minutes I felt so much better.
My blog has always been about me writing what I feel. The romance of early marriage, the fears of difficult pregnancy, the worries of not having a job, the truth about dealing with in-laws and ex-laws, my family & friends, my God & my sin, my love, and anger.
I needed to get it out. And, now that it is out it may get ugly, but at least the ugly isn't trapped inside of me.
And for that... I am thankful


Courtney said...

It's your place to share and vent, "people" need to respect that. I've done it before and I'll do it again, too. It is freeing to get it off your chest in some what though, isn't it?

Trisha said...

Good for you for being honest. Sometimes honesty is needed at the worst of times, but in the all works out.