Licensed to Parent

Today I called and confirmed our birthing class this weekend. I restrained giggles as the hospital education coordinator told me that I would need my birthing certificate in order to be able to give birth. I'm sure she meant in order to pre-register at their hospital because I am pretty certain any fool can go through the process of actually birthing.

For a mere $40 and two days of our time though, Jon and I will recieve the false confidence that we can in fact get through natural childbirth without killing anyone on the hospital staff or hating each other. I suppose that will last right up until we actually go into labor and I start swearing like a sailor and sweating like a PE teacher.

After finding out I needed two pillows, a blanket, my registration form and my husband in order to be able to participate I was transfered to the administration department to pre-register for my actual birth. When I told the woman my due date she actually said "oh aren't we waiting till the last minute". Excuse me? I do not think spending 10 minutes filling out paperwork needed to be done more than a month early. I am a month and a half early. So piss off administrative staff.

When I said the name of my insurance she said "oh billing likes them" which I guess is better than "sucker you can't deliver here" but also didn't seem that appropriate. I can't say I blame billing for liking them though, being as they pay for all expenses except 20-40% of my room charge. That includes my entire OBGYN experience for just one $40 co-pay. Gotta love HMO. Bet you never thought you'd hear a Republican say that one.

Our OBGYN appointment was yesterday. While the Dr was listening to the babies heartbeat she decided to kick his doppler and make his ears ring. Luckily, he thought it was funny. I put on exactly 1 lb since my last appointment. In case you were wondering, that still puts me under the weight I started out at. According to the Dr there is a chance that after birth I will officially weigh less than when I started. Especially if I lose weight when I tighten up my tummy flab from post birth. And my boobs are bigger. That's one of those win win situations I hear so much about.

Today I sent the baby shower invite list to my sister-in-law. Then I had to hyperventilate for a minute due to the sudden acknowledgment that I'm in the final stretchs.

And the baby that had less than a 5% chance of survival past the first trimester... she's a little long for her age, predicted to be due right on time, and now in the 90% chance of survival if she was born right this minute. Which she won't be...because I haven't decorated yet so I strictly forbid it. But other than that... let's just say... I like the fact the first OBGYN was wrong.