Bedtime

Every night the routine is the same. I put her in the crib where I let her cry for 15-20 minutes then I cave and put her in our bed. Nap times, she is willing to nap in the crib but at night time there is no comfort like Mommy. If left to her own devices in the bed she will fall asleep but now that she is mobile I can no longer do that. She'll fall, I just know it.

So I crawl into bed, wet hair and worn pjs to snuggle with the wiggle worm. It takes 20 minutes of wiggle to go to sleep, twice that if she can see the light in the window. So I take the curtains and press them against the wall with my pillow and lay my head to create a curtain weight.

I cover and recover her with the sheet as she fights herself to get comfortable and comes to terms with the fact that it is bed time. Usually by this point she's been in a piss poor mood for at least 30 minutes before we even went to the bed. I hand back lost pacifiers, lull soothing songs and sometimes pat drum beats on the bed...that's her favorite.

Eventually her eyes get heavier, her breathing gets smoother and I watch as she fades into the fluffy comforter and stacks of pillows which she insists on slipping in. She presses them into her face and I occassionally lean forward a tad to make sure her nose is still out far enough to breath.

In baby babble she begins to coo to herself. Rhythmic noises which eventually mean she will be asleep. Right as they stop I hear it. I gasp, try to sit up straighter, jump into comforting position. But, it is too late, eyes glassed over with tired confusion look at me in bewildered frustration. I have tried to trick her into sleeping. She is suddenly aware.

Damn it. That stupid snore.

You know the one snore you let out right as you fall asleep and sometimes you hear it and don't care, othertimes you hear it and bolt awake hoping you aren't drooling in front of the tv.

I almost drifted off. So did she... but instead... we'll be starting that whole process over because of one... little... snore.