Funny Shit

Today I sat down to sort through bills and found a notice from our Drs office that was about 30 days old (sent to the wrong address and forwarded) which said that if I didn't make a payment in 30 days I could be DISCHARGED from our primary care physician.

Oh my F-ing God!

So I do what every person does when they find they about to be beaten over the head by the system. I panicked and called my Doctor. Who told me in fact I was in collections. Ok...shit happens... how much I ask? Guess... Come on Guess....

You guess I'll carry on with the story...

Not enough to be worth the amount of time they were about to spend on me...that's how much. So I call the billing office, which has be call the collections office, which has me call back billing, and then finally after 35 minutes I lose my shit.

Crying, cursing and being otherwise unbearable I demand to talk to a supervisor. So...

I've made a scheduled payment for Friday. I'm not being discharged from my doctor (or so they tell me) and I am calling back Monday to confirm they didn't mess anything up and to re-schedule my daughters 12 mo checkup which is not for another 25 days but for some reason they insisted on canceling until my VERY SMALL balance was paid in full.

Oh drama... thou art my middle name...

Sigh.

So what do you do when you're pissed? Normally I eat a whole bag of dorritos but it's been a bad month so I stopped letting myself buy them. Sometimes, I eat other things but nothing today looked like it could cure PISSED BEYOND MEASURE so I got out the exercise ball.

The baby had a grand time laughing her tucus (how do you spell butt anyhow?) off. (does anyone else love the fact that I dropped an f bomb already but I used the word tucus instead of ass?) We bounced until I started to worry about shaken toddler syndrome...what you've never heard of STS?

Oh well it's when you shake a toddler so much that your arms hurt too much to cook dinner and you have to eat stale fishsticks and processed cheese products instead.

So fearing STS I moved to doing reverse sit ups using the exercise ball. We did 100 in increments of 10. Gosh my tummy hurts.

I figured while I was torturing myself I'd go for the tri-fecta of "mommy why me" and I called the church and RSVP'd for one of those SAHM brunches and bible study introduction events. I know... I think I might have exercised to the point of disillusion.

Then, I took some video of the baby to post over her blog the next several days and started looking through recipe books for FatGirlEats (btw there is my honey mustard merinade over there today) and I came across an "April Fools Day" recipe in my holiday candies book which is posted above. They call it Kitty Crunchies. I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants. My kid thinks I'm nutter.

Thanks God... for the little things... like Christian Confection Cookbooks with Kitty Poo shaped chocolate treats laying in a bed of rice litter. I always knew you had my sense of humor.