I spent a month trying to decide what to do. Every time I prayed I was overwhelmed with a sense of "this can not be right" and I prayed and prayed more and I wait and waited more. I am not patient. But, I waited. Because that's what it felt like I should be doing.
I started to make resolve with the inavoidable truth as I saw it. We would be ok. I would be ok. It was ok.
Then the dream came. The dream that said...maybe you should try hope out one more time.
So I tried another test of faith.
Test of faiths cost me $9.95 a box and have pee strips.
This one was a miracle. A fast showing, clearly marked with a + miracle.
This week a blood test confirmed it. In addition to a cyst I now plan ignoring until future notice... I am also growing a baby.
My very own baby who hopefully will arrive sometime near May.
Pray for us. We need prayer. Financially we're ok. Spiritually we're ok. Emotionally we're shocked but ok. Mainly, we need a prayer for strength for the baby & for me as I am usually a high risk pregnancy.
Three miscarriages later though, I still have hope. So many people have their hope lost when they aren't looking. So for that and for little tiny miracles I am thankful. So I pray...and I wait...like life is teaching me to do.
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3 comments:
YEAH BABY!!! I am so excited another niece or nephew...I lovew it! We will/are praying for you and the baby that you both stay healthy. We love you!!!!
Yea! of course I will think positive thoughts for you. During this last pregnancy, I started out fearing pre-term labor but then realized that I could have fear and doubt about my body or I could instead focus on all the ways my body was strong. I think a positive mental outlook is so important on issues of pregnancy. Anyways, yea! I am so happy for you and Jonathan.
You're in my prayers during this pregnancy...
:)
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