I got the joy joy joy

So today's topic for the questions pool is all about my religion or my spirituality. There is a post on this site already about my testimony which I promise to link tonight. But, here's the rest of the story.

Mike the Mormon asked "Have you ever found yourself in religious crisis (since converting)? How did you get through it?"

I'd have to say my biggest religious crisis came after I miscarried the second time after my marriage. I vividly remember laying on the bed weeping to my husband that I couldn't do it anymore and that the devil had won because I didn't have the faith in God that I needed anymore and I couldn't do it anymore and we were done because I couldn't find my hope and I didn't want to go look for it. Ironically, a few days later I found out I was pregnant. In those few days in the middle I talked to my friends a lot and I talked to my pastor and I talked to my husband. Boy did I ever talk to my husband about it. And then I was sick and it turned out I was pregnant. So perhaps I got through it by letting other hold my faith for me when I was weak, or by asking for help but I think the main way that I got through it was by taking life one second and a time and not giving up on looking for a reason why...even when I knew I'd never get one.

Annie at Where the Green Grass Grows asked "When did I realize I needed Jesus?"

Well part of that is my testimony but I think I've always known I needed something more, something bigger than me and my universe to believe in and I was always looking for it. I looked in a lot of strange places but eventually it found me while I was looking in the wrong direction. And now that I know what it is I was looking for I can't believe all the times and places I missed it. I was so close, so often. But in the end, it didn't matter that I didn't know I needed Jesus, he knew I needed him and he kept stepping in my path until I admitted it myself.

AubreyAnne asked "What are my biggest spiritual strengths and weaknesses?"

I'll list two of each.

My two biggest spiritual strengths are my hospitality. I honestly welcome everyone into my home. I talk to everyone openly and easily. I have the ability to listen and care with all my heart to things that have nothing to do with me and to think rationally about it and to offer my help without sounding like I'm preaching at you. My second spiritual strength is my ability to find the influence of God in the little things. I can think you are stupid, I can think you are wrong but I can love you through it because in that moment that I think you are stupid and wrong I can point out to myself the thousand little ways God can still use you to advance his kingdom. I can see his influence in my sleep, in the strangers I am walking past and in the people who throw themselves into my life. I think that's an amazing advantage because it keeps the little things in perspective.

My two biggest spiritual weaknesses are that I am not as humble as I should be about my spiritual gifts. I am judgmental about others who don't have my gifts or my understanding. I'd say my second one is that I am by far too forgiving of some people and completely not forgiving with others. My ability to love you is strong but my ability to not always worry about you hurting me again is a huge chunk of my personality. I think you could some up my weaknesses with the sentence "I have control issues."

I like that question... what are your spiritual strengths or weaknesses?