My Blogography

Todays questions are going to be all about my blog. The all of them are from Niobe over at Dead Baby Jokes who asked, "How and why did you decide to start this blog? What were you trying to accomplish? Were you writing mostly for yourself or did you have an audience in mind? Have your style and purposes changed over time?"

I actually had two blogs before this one. I wrote a blog about my dating life and my coming to Christianity for several years and I also co-wrote on a political blog for awhile. When I got married I started thinking about all the things on those old blogs I didn't want my future children to read. I also started having a reader base that included my church elders and people I didn't know in my community who thought it was ok to come up to me and talk to me like they knew who I was. I deleted the blog in it's prime of 300 + hits a day. I wanted a life less public.

Ironically, a month or so later I started this blog. I missed being able to write out my inner most thoughts in a public forum. But, I wanted it to be anonymous so for about 6 months I wrote in private using not my real name and giving people nicknames. It never felt good. So... one day I just stopped hiding it. My favorite part about this blog is that while it gives me a public forum a diary never could; 95% of my readers are people I've never met. There is something nice about knowing the person who shares your dark secrets will never bump into wearing sweats at the grocery store.

I don't know that I ever had a goal for this blog other than to be honest and to chronicle my marriage and my efforts ttc. Sometime after we got pregnant with Layla I shared this blog address with some of our friends and family. That, was one of the best and worst decisions I've ever made. While I love my mother, mother-in-law and assorted close friends... it put an end to the ability to openly talk about my sex life, my family or my frustrations with bad food because I made a promise a long time ago to do my best not to attack others in writing. (Now having said that I don't want them to stop reading it just changed the context a little)

For the most part, the blog is what I expected it to be. It's me talking to myself. It's me talking to God. It's me talking to my future children. Sometimes it's me talking to my friends. It is very much the way I think and the way I talk outloud in everyday life. It's like my own little biography. It catches the good parts and the bad parts. It keeps me human and humble by marking my mistakes right next to my triumphs. I call it my Blogography and I'm awfully proud I've never let someone tell me how to make it.