This weekend (today specifically), there is a wedding for our good friends K & J. A wedding which my husband is in. A wedding that I would love to go to. A wedding that I have decided not to attend.
The hardest part about being pregnant and high risk is determining what risks you are willing to take on any given day, carefully balancing your faith in God and your own ability to intercept danger.
California's central valley is in the middle of a heat wave. Yesterday, I decided that although I love K & J very much I didn't want to spend a whole day standing in 100 degree heat, outside, in the sun, wearing a black dress and 6 months pregnant. My husband and I have a hotel room with air conditioning, and I could go for bits and pieces of the ceremony and hide in that hotel room but honestly I just spent several days in a hotel room and I don't really want to do that.
After a short discussion, and Jon talking to K & J making sure they wouldn't be offended... I decided to stay home. I sent my husband, best wishes and a wad of cash on it's way to the sunny town of Fresno and decided to call my sister in law and let her know I wasn't going.
Before the call I felt fine about it. Jon feels fine about it. K & J from what I am told are fine about it. But, without trying to my sister in law made me feel incredibly guilty. Now, I don't feel as fine about it.
I still won't be going. I know it's the right choice for someone who doesn't sweat and gets heat stroke very easily to avoid an outdoor summer wedding during a heat wave if they are pregnant. I just feel crummy. Sigh.
2 comments:
I've often felt that way -- knowing that I had made the right choice, but, at the same time, feeling bad about it anyway.
I hope you feel fine about it today, too. You did the right thing. I had a similar decision to make when I was 5 months pregnant when my grandma passed away. It was the traveling that no one wanted me to do, but I wanted to go. I didn't go. I know I made the right decision.. I think you did, too.
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