The Kind of Grandparents

My mom and I had a conversation yesterday which boiled down to the statement (by her) that "the kind of grandparents you have determines the kind of grandparents you're going to be". The topic was wound around the fact that my mom is trying to be like her grandmother was or my grandmother was. You see my mom and I both had GREAT grandparents to look up to.

She's trying to be the type of grandma that's always around, always loving, always supportive and always active in the babies life. She's starting now, partially because she's part of the Laylabug fanclub and can't bare not to see my daughter for more than two weeks and partially because she knows that by doing that she's helping to produce a confident, independent and intellegent grandbaby. She's helping Jon and I make our daughter into someone who's cup runs over with love and support. I appreciate that.

I look back at a childhood where every day my grandparents (starting when I was an infant-clear until I was old enough to ask them not to) stopped by unannounced every day or at the most every 2-3 days. There was dinner at grandma's just as often as dinner at home. I had a room there were I had special treats grandma had always waiting for me like cartoon character sheets, fisher price pretend kitchens and eskimo sandwich bars in the freezer in the den. There were special trips to yogurt without grandma and special trips with grandma to town on Fridays to get donuts/her hair done/lunch with the girls/shopping. There was always someone playing a game with you...cards... waitress... talent show... barbies... house. Always.

It made me who I am today. Highly social, imaginative and able to share. I know it did. So does my mom. She had a grandmother who was no more than a bike ride away who let her hang out whenever she wanted and taught her things that she still does today.

They were grandmothers. Real honest to god grandparents who stepped in willingly to everything they thought they could get away with. They were something out of TV movies with sassy jokes, good food and endless amounts of old stories with hidden advice in them.

My mom used to be driven crazy by my grandmother until she remembered how focused my grandparents were on raising me with as much love as possible. Sometimes she had to put the squeeze on spoiling or going on trips but for the most part she knew that grandparents play a vital role in who you become. She knew because her grandmother played a vital role in who she became.

Now I look at other people's grandparent relationship that involved maybe an occassional baby sitting trip or dinner out or holiday and I wonder how different they would have been if there had been more. Not that it's bad to not be lucky enough to get what I got but more-so that I just wonder what I would have become without it.

And then I'm thankful. I'm thankful that one of my daughter's first words was Papa and she lights up when he plays with her. I'm thankful my mother talks non-sense on the phone at least 30 minutes a day with my daughter and that she pretends that the NANANA BBLLLRRPPPP LOYOVELOU DOGGIE DADA BUYBYE conversation is fascinating. I'm thankful great grandpa is showing my daughter the same love he showed me...down on the floor with the puzzles at 80 years old.

I'm thankful I know what kind of grandparent it's possible to be. I thankful I know I'll make mistakes but that at the time the kids won't notice even when I do. I'm thankful I know all the words to the Tomorrow/Jesus Loves Me/ Me & My Shadow, the rules to chinese checkers, how to frost a sugar cookie, how to cheat playing blitz, where to put the blow up pool in the yard to keep the water just right and still be able to reach a cherry, how to make a pie crust from scratch, how to use my imagination to get through the quiet times and how to read quietly when everyone else was doing something adult. I'm thankful for the advise, love and sometimes even the lectures (ok maybe not that one time I got told about stubble burn from my grandmother) and how to make a joke about "taking some home for grandpa later".

I'm thankful I'll never have to worry about being involved...because my kid will expect it because it's the kind of grandparents she has.