One of my sister in laws and I had a long talk yesterday. The short version was summed up in a line of email she sent me today. "Being a wife is hard"
Sometimes you don't have something comforting to say. Sometimes, even if you had something comforting to say you just don't want to say it. And better yet, sometimes the things you think will be comforting don't help at all, instead they make matters worse. Sometimes, being a wife is hard.
My grandmother's only advice on marriage before she died was "never fall out of love on the same day" and I think it's the smartest thing anyone has ever told me. First off, it acknowledges that there will be days when you don't feel like loving someone well. Secondly, it sets up the expectation that there will be days they are really frustrated with you. But mostly, it's just the natural flow of the statement. Sometimes being a wife will be hard, sometimes being a husband will be frustrating, if you're lucky... it just won't be at the same time.
It's worth it. The frustration, the lack of comfort in the unknown, the challenges and the days when you don't feel it are all worth it. It's worth knowing that you're both taking the active effort to play on the same team. It's worth it knowing that just because someone is frustrated doesn't mean they stopped caring...after all they care enough to be frustrated.
Yesterday might have been a hard day. Tomorrow might be mission impossible. Being a wife is hard. But, it's totally worth it.
My husband and I don't fight. Not really fight. We talk ...and talk...and then talk somemore... and then we talk about talking about things we already talked about. We're long winded and it's a huge benefit to our marriage but somethings are hard to talk about. I'm grateful that we talk so much. I'm blessed with a husband who is open most of the time. But sometimes, even with a great husband being a wife is hard. But then again, what in life worth doing isn't hard.
At least we know a few other wives to talk to about it.
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3 comments:
You ain't kidding sister! being a wife is really hard, and it seems to get harder as we get better at it... what sense does that make? But yeah, keep on going. That's all we can do. On the days when I don't particularly feel like being a good wife, I just love God more and depend on Him to help me love my husband more, too. God is usually pretty easy for me to love, even if He was the one who created my hard-to-love husband.
This is an AWESOME BLOG! I am not a wife, but I want to know why the hell anyone wants to. I date, and they are way worse, so i guess being a wife may be a better option! LOL. Thanks for sharing!
Some days, my husband and I don't get along. We're cranky and irritable and just rubbing each other the wrong way. Those times? We just live as roommates for a while. It gets us through, and then we can ease back into a romantic, intimate relationship. // We don't have a very drama-filled relationship. Never did. I think it's because we started the relationship with the intention of making a marriage and a family. It's not like we saw each other across a crowded room and sparks flew, although that happened later. Our marriage thankfully doesn't depend on the everyday feelings we feel, it just depends on the commitment we made to each other.
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