Little Lessons #1

I was thinking about the things I want my child to know when they grow up. There are several things I hope my child will know. I hope they will love others well. I hope they will be respectful of others opinions. I hope they will love God with all their heart. But those are all big picture things and lately I've been thinking about the little things. I decided I could get a couple great posts out of talking about the little things I hope my child (and possibly a few other people) will learn from knowing me.

I'm calling them the Little Lessons and while the title reminds me of those Little Mr & Little Miss books that where around when I was little I'm hoping I can put an adult spin on things and avoid cartoon happy face pictures and names like Mrs. Naughty. This is my first installment into the little lessons...

Little Lesson #1: Everyone's time has value.

It doesn't matter how much money you make, how busy you are, how many hours you work a week or whether or not you get days off your time has value. It has two types of value; the monetary (how much you could get paid if you were doing something else) and the spiritual (you only get a finite amount of time on this earth and if you aren't using it wisely you might regret it when you run out). The monetary value is the type most people think about, we focus on how many hours we spend at work and how much we've earned our time at home to do what we want. The spiritual, though less noticed, in my opinion is vastly more important.

If you think of your time as spiritual time, or just as surface time on the planet earth, suddenly being able to use all your time doing things you enjoy becomes very important. If you know you're end is approaching and that God is watching you are more likely to seek a job you love, spend time with the people you care about and actively pursue being on the right path. There is something very "in the moment" about spiritual time. Feeling in sync with the time you have, allows you to focus on the little things and to try to incorporate your happiness, fullfillment and enjoyment of the everyday things in life.

Focusing on the little things, as previously mentioned on this site, is what makes us the kind of person we want to be. Lacking focus on the details is something other people notice about you. Somewhere out there is a person who knows you don't help out EVER around the house. Somewhere out there is a person who knows that you can't keep a secret. Somewhere out there is a person who knows you're being judgmental. If you are lucky and you are "in the moment" that someone is probably you. If you're not it might be your room-mate, your boyfriend, your best friend or your mother. But, don't fool yourself people are watching.

People notice what you don't do just as much, if not more than what you do actually get done. Do you know why? Because we're human and human nature makes us want to feel validated, acknowledged and appreciated. When you tell someone you're too busy to help, you tell them that you're time is more valuable then theirs. While they can spend their worthless time doing dishes, mopping and helping fold the towels you will be busy doing something important like sleeping or going on a trip. You didn't stand up and say it. You didn't mean to do it. But you just told someone else that their time has no value. You just turned them a cold shoulder. You didn't do anything and what you didn't do had a massive effect on someone's opinion of you.

Giving another person's time value is really easy. It's the little things that make a person feel that they are loved. Did you help someone even though you didn't HAVE to? No one has to. But, I'm sure they noticed that you put forth the effort. Did you communicate with someone in a way that made them feel respected? While every "nevermind", or last minute flake is noticed so is every single person who never fails to be there when you need to cry and every person who shows up when you're feeling frustrated. You know they'll still come because they are doing the little things, they are being the shoulder to cry on and the person to vent your frustrations to. Just because you know you can talk to someone in a mean way doesn't mean it's ok to be a mean girl.

I have a friend, we'll call him Batman, because that's what we always call him. Batman will drop anything if you really need him. He'll help you move heavy objects, he'll distract you with something fun to do, he'll let you vent in his general direction. Batman has a friend, whom we mutually share, occassionally this friend bats him around a bit emotionally. Ten seconds later the same friend can call and need support and he'll help this very same person hold up the great wall of China. Batman's mom & dad taught him about the little things. He knows that even though this person is sometimes mean to him, that doesn't mean that the person doesn't deserved to be loved well. He also knows that other people can see him doing the right thing and they respect his ability to love well. We admire Batman for the little things.

My husband is also a big time "little thinger". If you call my darling hubby at 3 am and need a ride from Fresno to Turlock, he will drive from Turlock to Fresno to get you and then drive you back home without batting an eye. He will also drop things at a moment's notice to help you recover from the latest twist in your family drama. He's been known to use his only day off to help someone with yardwork or a task at their home that there wasn't a man around to help them do. I'm pretty sure sometimes he does it with that frustrated "don't talk to me" look in his eyes but he knows that people watch the little things and he still shows up to do them.

Me, I'm a work in progress. Sometimes I'm totally willing to do the little things for you. I'm willing to talk to you about the same thing for the 45th time even though I know you're going to complain about it again the next time it happens. I'm also willing to cook for you, entertain you and let you hang out when you are bored. My big motivation is usually that I know God is watching me. He's looking at my lack of patience and my complaining nature and he's saying well... at least she's trying on the little things.