Little Lesson #2

Little Lesson #2: Stupid people are everywhere. You are probably one of them.

Let me start off by saying that I hate the word stupid. I think stupid is one of the most demeaning and awful things you can actual call someone because I personally believe that every single person has something in their life that they are stupid about. Seriously, some people have no common sense, some people have no sense of humor and some people have no sense of logic. For some of us it's math and for others it's the ability to hold an adult conversation. So calling someone stupid is like telling them their human but in a hateful way.

Having said that... we're all stupid. I know I just explained that but I think we really forget. We don't put our kids in certain schools to avoid stupid people, we complain about the stupid people at work and we hate the stupid people at the store. But sometimes, I guaranty, you are the person that someone doesn't want to see coming or the cause of an explanation no one wants to give.

Everyone has done something blatantly stupid in their life. Probably multiple times a day, if we're honest, we do something lame & stupid and just don't admit to it.

To clear the air on my own stupidity I'm going to tell you a real life true story about me.

A few years ago, I was dating a guy who sometimes did some sales type demonstrations in our home during the winter months to make extra money. This particular winter we were desperate for money so I scrapped the money for a dinner party and we invited some of our best customers over to eat.

Half way through cooking dinner I changed into my nice clothing and called the little old lady across the street to tell her we'd be having company. She was the kind of little old lady that would come over if she saw a lot of cars and I didn't want her to worry. While on the phone with her I noticed my Beef in wine sauce was a little dry so I grabbed a bottle of wine off the counter, opened the lid to the pyrex pan in the stove and poured more wine on top of the roast.

I was probably 3 seconds into my pouring when my own stupidity flashed before my eyes. At that very second that the F word left my mouth a loud bang errupted in the kitchen and small, very hot, balls of blue glass began to project out of my stove. Hot glass flowing with great force knocked things off the counter, bounced off my clothing and rolled along the floor. The roast fell into the bottom of the oven, along with it's side trimmings, and began to smoulder on the bottom of the stove and I dropped the phone which shattered into about 15 pieces.

I had poured cold wine on to hot glass. I then stupidly bent over and tried to pick up a piece of glass with my bare hands, forgetting how hot it would be, and let out another yelp. I ran out of the kitchen to get some shoes and by the time I returned the kitchen was amass with smoke and broken glass.

I had 45 minutes. In 45 minutes my guests would arrive. I turned on every fan and opened every window. I swept up hot glass and tossed it into the sink to cool so I could throw it away. I got the roast into a trash bag and had someone take it to the trash. Then I muttered to myself and I followed them cleaning up the trickle of bloody/wine stains they left along the floor. I stopped at the door and went back to the chaos of my kitchen.

The temperature in the house instantly dropped to artic. The smoke finally started to clear and I started to panic. I whipped up an alternative pasta dish using shrimp from the freezer and random stuff in the pantry. I changed my clothing and the door bell rang.

The guests where there. I had made it. I sighed my relief sigh. Ten minutes into the sales demonstration the door shook with violent knocking. The local police department (guns drawn) pulled me through the door when I opened it and then called out my ex making him get on his knees with his hands in the air.

Meanwhile, a female officer is looking at my burnt hand and the blue glass bruise on my face and telling me it's ok to tell her what happened. My guests where terrified. I was mortified.

The little old lady across the street had heard the explosion on the phone and tried to call back. When the phone was dead she assumed the sound she heard was a gun shot and came over to look for me. Peeking through the window she saw the boys wiping up blood (wine) from the ground and carrying heavy sacks dripping with blood (wine) to the trash. Then the trash can steamed (from the heat of the food) and she got scared so she called 911.

I have never told that story before. It makes me feel stupid. But I am stupid sometimes so I think now is a great time to be honest about it. What's the stupidest thing you've ever been not caught doing?