Christmas Sparkle

The shower takes a moment to warm up so while it does I humm the tune under my breath and pick myself apart in the mirror

I really can't stay - Baby it's cold outside

I've got to go away - Baby it's cold outside

I take a long glance at the age lines that found their way to my face this year and the single gray hair gracing the top of my head.

This evening has been - Been hoping that you'd drop in

So very nice - I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice

I trace the faint start of a laugh line along my right cheek and marvel at the three inch roots from my last highlights almost six months ago.

My mother will start to worry - Beautiful, what's your hurry

My father will be pacing the floor - Listen to the fireplace roar

I sigh as I step into the second half of the bathroom. The door opening pours hot steamy air on to my naked body as I cough once adjusting to the moisture in the air.

So really I'd better scurry - Beautiful, please don't hurry well

Maybe just a half a drink more - Put some music on while I pour

As I step into the shower and as the warm water wraps around me like a womb the room fades into the sound of my own voice and a small steady rain of water on tile.

The neighbors might think - Baby, it's bad out there

Say, what's in this drink - No cabs to be had out there

I start singing the words to my favorite flirty Christmas tune as I lather my body and rinse my hair, autopilot guides my hands from years of practice, I don't even have to think.

I wish I knew how - Your eyes are like starlight now

To break this spell - I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell

Christmas used to be about romance, hidden potential would be noticed under the mistletoe, framed in the twinkling light of a fragrant pine tree, I'd be lovable to someone this Christmas.

I ought to say no, no, no, sir - Mind if I move a little closer

At least I'm gonna say that I tried - What's the sense in hurting my pride

I used to cling to the romantic Christmas duets waiting for that ever popular Christmas wish come true kiss at the end of each Christmas special. It was Christmas, anything could happen.

I really can't stay - Baby don't hold out

Ahh, but it's cold outside

C'mon babyI simply must go - Baby, it's cold outside

I dressed the part the entire season back then. I'd put on my best red shirts and my sparkly green necklaces. I wore the best shoes and I gave the best gifts.

The answer is no - Ooh baby, it's cold outside

This welcome has been - I'm lucky that you dropped in

So nice and warm -- Look out the window at that storm

I splashed the water gathering in the tub with my feet and noted my chipped toenail polish left over from Halloween even though it was almost Thanksgiving.

My sister will be suspicious - Man, your lips look so delicious

My brother will be there at the door - Waves upon a tropical shore

My "Where are you Christmas" moment washed over me. I'm worried about money, I'm worried about work, I'm worried about being a good wife and a good mother. It was easier before...

My maiden aunt's mind is vicious - Gosh your lips look delicious

Well maybe just a half a drink more - Never such a blizzard before

I've got to go home - Oh, baby, you'll freeze out there

It wasn't easier before, I remind myself in my best mom voice. Before you worried about different things but you still worried. You need to focus. I turn off the bath water and step back into the cold room to grab a towel.

Say, lend me your comb - It's up to your knees out there

You've really been grand - Your eyes are like starlight now

But don't you see - How can you do this thing to me

You used to sparkle, that evil little voice in the back of my head whispers. You used to shine like starlight. You still can.

There's bound to be talk tomorrow - Making my life long sorrow

At least there will be plenty implied - If you caught pneumonia and died

I really can't stay - Get over that old out

Stepping up to the mirror, focused again, I pick them out... my big eyes and my dark framing eyebrows... my complexion, clearer than most, my teeth straight and my smile bright... I'm still in there somewhere

Ahh, but it's cold outside

Baby it's cold outside

Brr its cold….It's cold out there

Cant you stay awhile longer baby

I go back to humming and start the hair dryer for a change. Perhaps if I just put a little more effort it would all come back to me... my Christmas sparkle.

Well…..I really shouldn't...alright

Make it worth your while baby

Ahh, do that again….