January

I come home from work mid afternoon. My schedule starts early but ends earlier than most and for that I am grateful. Despite arriving home before the sun goes down I can feel the crisp air of winter on my face when I get out of the car. The garage is no match for the winter chill. Neither, it appears is the house because when I take off my shoes the tile in the kitchen is cold beneath my feet while I prep dinner. Eventually the rain starts up again outside while I rock in my chair and feel the baby roll about in my tummy. The toddler at my feet plays with a tiny tractor driving it up and down my leg and I eventually bend down to check that her bare feet aren't cool to the touch. It doesn't matter if they are, if I put slippers on her they will be off before the next scene change in the movie we are watching. I can't blame her. I don't have on slippers either.

Darkness comes early and I light a candle in hopes of burning the scent of dinner and a house constantly filled with people. The soft light flickers just visible outside the corner of my eye and I drift off in a momentary day dream.

I always wanted this. I wanted to be a wife. I wanted a home of my own filled with sounds of every day life blended with the pitter patter of tiny cold feet on the tile. But, I never once imagined it would be this all consumed with love. It is sometimes so much better then even my imagination could have tried to make it.