Sunday, October 19, 2008

3 Times 3

When I was first converting to Christianity, God stalked me. God was everywhere. Strangers talked to me, quotes found me in books, words haunted me from movies, signs feel down in front of me, it rained everyday angels and there was no denying that God was part of everything. I noticed God in everything, despite trying hard not to see him.

Now, it's been awhile. I find myself searching for God in the little things and although I find him there always I find myself also wondering if he wouldn't have been there if I wasn't looking so hard. It's that old Pagan in me. There's always going to be a little doubt.

Thursday it was a trying day. But, at some point during my day I sat down to watch the RR Show like I do every day and there was this Robin somebody or other who used to be (or maybe still is) on Good Morning America talking about a book she wrote after surviving cancer. She talked about her eighth rule which she added after she won her battle. The rule? "Make your messes into messages!"

I had an "ah ha" moment. Ok God, I hear you. I've been praying pretty hard about this writing thing... but I hear you now. I'll take this mess and find a way to make it into a message. Thanks Robin somebody or other for carrying God's message on to national television for me, I thought outloud in front of my daughter who looked at me like I was crazy.

But, the day was still long and hard and I felt pretty alone in it. I mean who listens the first time God talks to them... even people in the bible sometimes had to be told things 3 or 5 or 532 times. So I didn't feel bad when later I looked up while preparing dinner to hear Maria Shriver on Oprah talking about I don't know what and about how the I don't know what was her attempt to get women "to realize they are the leaders they are looking for". Ok God, I was listening the first time I was just making dinner. I chuckled to myself. I can do this. I feel renewed. I am...

What? The baby slipped while I was bathing her and now she's got a cut lip... I'm a horrible mother. Ten minutes changes everything and I am swept back from "enlightened" to beating myself up over a stupid mistake that the baby didn't even care I made.

So I sit down at the computer and I click through some blogs I follow after the baby went to bed and someone in one of my favorite blogs is talking about a book she is reading and how the person in the book wrote a little note to God on a postage note and the very next day she found a way to handle a situation she didn't know how to handle.

The person who wrote the blog started the blog by talking about how they didn't even really believe in God but ended the blog talking about how they wanted to use the blog they had written as a way to ask God to help them in the same way.

So it was decided. I mean it was already decided... I was just stalling.

A book. Yes God I hear you. I'll start writing it tomorrow. I'll set aside the fun project I was distracting myself with...because I hear you in the little things... someone (like the person who wrote that blog) is being stalked right now... and I think it's my turn to be the little thing they notice.

***

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1 comment:

Candace said...

God certainly does have a way of stalking us! Isn't it great to know that He loves us enough to do it though!

If you need a good read try "The Shack" by William P. Young. It is one of the best Christian books I have ever read!